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MEMOIRS 

' , OP THE LATE v 

tiks. iftAftr cooper) 

LONDON; 

\VH£ DEJ^RT^ THIS LIFE 
JUNE 22, 1812, 

IN 

THE TWENTY-SIXTH YEAR OF HER AGE. 

x * 

EXTRACTED FROM HER 

DIARY 

AND 

EPISTOLARY CORRESPONDENCE, 

BY ADAM CLARKE, LL. D. 



FIRST AMERICAN, FROM THE LAST LONDON 
EDITION. 



NEW-YORK: 

[iW3ED BY J. SOULE AND T. MASON, FOR THE METHODIST 
2PISC0PAL CHURCH IN THE UNITED STATES. 

Abraham Paul, printer. 
1816. 



a 

a 



ADVERTISEMENT, 



JL HE Editor of these Papers had the pleasure of a 
short acquaintance with the late Mrs. Cooper, eldest 
daughter of John Hanson, Esq. a worthy and respect- 
able magistrate of the County of Middlesex 3 and, in 
conjunction with her friends, he deplores the prema- 
ture death of a woman, of whom, he feels no hesita- 
tion to say, that her understanding was sound, her mind 
carefully cultivated, her charity unbounded, her faith 
unfeigned, her piety deep and rational; and her re- 
ligious life without blemish. This is certainly saying 
a great deal; but not more than the subject most 
completely warrants. 



IV ADVERTISEMENT. 

'The mind of Mrs. Cooper was of no common mould $ 
and this, her Diary, and Letters, from which the 
following Extracts are made, sufficiently prove. The 
Diary she had kept carefully concealed, even from 
her most intimate friends ; and certainly never wrote it 
to meet the eye of man. As her heart dictated, and 
as occurrences presented themselves, so she wrote. 
To speak incorrectly she could not : to wait to revise 
and polish, she had neither time nor inclination, as she 
wrote exclusively for her own instruction \ and the im- 
provement of her heart was the grand object at which 
she aimed. When this was attained, the manner in 
which it was accomplished was of no importance 5 as 
the whole, from beginning to end, was designed 
to be a secret correspondence with herself. Let this 
be the apology of the work, where the matter may 
appear diffuse and inartificial ; and the language neg- 
ligent. To have suppressed the following extracts on 
such accounts, would have been a real injury to all who 
shall have the opportunity of reading them 5 as it may 
be safely presumed, that no unprejudiced person can 
peruse this little volume, without having his heart re. 
ligiously affected, and his mind considerably improved. 

The advantages which this excellent young woman 
derived from a religious education, were many and im- 
portant. Her pious parents taught her to fear God 
from her youth. The great and momentous truths of 



ADVERTISEMENT. V 

the religion of Christ, they carefully inculcated on heF 
mind and heart, from her earliest years — they showed 
her, not only in their precepts, but also in their life 
and conversation, how she should walk and please God. 
They were workers together with Him, and He blessed 
the work of their hands. In all the branches of their 
very respectable and orderly family, they have proved 
the unfailing truth of that divine saying, Train up a, 
child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he 
will not depart from it. They have dedicated their 
children to their Maker, and God has most graciously 
accepted the offering. 

Were a proper line of conduct pursued in the educa- 
tion of children, how tew profligate sons and daughters, 
and how few broken-hearted parents should we find. 
The neglect of early religious education, connected 
with a wholesome and affectionate restraint, is the 
ruin of millions. Many parents, to excuse their indo^ 
lence, and most criminal neglect, say, " We cannot 
give our children grace." — What do they mean by this ? 
■ — That God, not themselves, is the Author of the ir- 
regularities and vitiousness of their children. They 
may shudder at this imputation — but, when they 
reflect that they have not given them right precepts; 
have not brought them under firm and affectionate re- 
straint; have not showed them, by their own spirit, 
temper, and conduct, how they should be regulated in 

a 2 



VI ADVERTISEMENT* 

theirs — when either the worship of God has not been 
established in their houses, or they have permitted 
their children, on the most trifling 1 pretences, to 
absent themselves from it — when all these things are 
considered, they will find, that, speaking after the man- 
ner of men, it would have been a very extraordinary 
miracle indeed, if the children had been found preferring^" 
a path, in which they did not see their parents con 
scientiously tread. 

Let those parents who continue to excuse themselves 
by saying, We cannot give grace to our children, lay 
their hand on their conscience, and say, whether they 
ever knew an instance where God withheld His grace, 
while they were in humble subserviency to Him, per- 
forming their duty ? The real state of the case is this : 
parents cannot do God's work ; and God will not do 
theirs ; but if they use the means, and tram up the 
child in the way he should go, God will never withhold 
His blessing. 

Next to the grace of God, Mrs. C. carefully own- 
ed, that all her first and permanent religious impressions, 
were owing to the pious affectionate care of her pa- 
rents 5 and to that judicious and affectionate course 
of discipline, under which she was early brought up. 
At first, she thought her parents too strict, while ab- 
solutely prohibiting the fashionable, though deeply 



ADVERTISEMENT. Vll 

vitiating amusements of the world. These prohibitions 
led her to look at home for enjoyments; she began 
to examine her own mind, to pant after useful know- 
ledge, to seek God as her Portion 5 and in these she 
found a source of pleasure, producing millions of gra- 
tifications, of which the gay, the giddy, and the gar- 
ish never dream, and can never enjoy. She then most 
gratefully blessed God for her religious and well con- 
ducted education, which was the means of preparing 
her heart to receive the fulness of the blessing of the 
Gospel of Peace, when she came to hear it preached 
in that way in which her soul delighted. Those who 
were best acquainted with her, knew that on this ac- 
count, her gratitude was not only great to God, but 
also to her parents ; to whom she ever felt a continual- 
ly growing and affectionate attachment. 

Before this very important subject is dismissed, the 
Editor begs leave to present the candid reader with, 
another remark: It is not parental fondness nor pa- 
rental authority, taken separately, that can produce 
this beneficial effect. A father may be as fond of his 
offspring as Eli, and his children be sons of Belial : 
he may be as authoritative as the Grand Tprh, and 
his children despise, and plot rebellion against him. 
But let parental authority be tempered with fatherly 
affection; and let the rein of discipline be steadily 



Till ADVERTISEMENT. 

held by this powerful but affectionate hand ; and there, 
shall the pleasure of God prosper 3 there, will he give 
his blessing", even life for evermore. Many fiue fami- 
lies have been spoiled, and many ruined, by the se- 
parate exercise of these two principles. Parental af- 
fection, when alone, infalliby degenerates into foolish 
fondness ; and parental authority frequently degene- 
rates into brutal tyranny, when standing by itself. 
The first sort of parents will be loved, without being 
respected: the second sort will be dreaded, without 
either respect or esteem. In the first case, obedience 
is not exacted, and is therefore felt to be unnecessa- 
ry ; as offences of great magnitude pass without pun- 
ishment or reprehension : in the second case, rigid ex- 
action renders obedience almost impossible, and the 
smallest delinquency is often punished with the ex- 
treme of torture 5 which hardening the mind, renders 
^uty a matter of perfect indifference, 

In editing the papers of Mrs. C. very few liberties 
have been taken, except in the mere article of abridg- 
ment- . Here and there, a few errors have been cor- 
rected, and some expressions altered. Much of her 
MS. hak been left unpublished, either because it was of 
a private nature, concerning herself and family alone j 
or becauseit was not judged to be such as would 
tend to general edification. The Editor has never 
mingled his ow$ observations with his te%t i what he 



ADyERTISEMENT. IX 

found necessary to say, in order to introduce distinct 
parts, he has done by connecting sentences) which, 
in every plaoe, are easily distinguishable from the 
words of that excellent person who is now with God. 
May the spirit in which she lived and died, re*£ 
abundantly on every reader! 
Jan. 1, 1814. A. CLARKE. 



The following character of Mrs. C. as a wife, was 
drawn up by him who was best qualified to do it. 
Writing to a friend, Mr. Cooper says, 

"Her Diary will best develope her character, re- 
specting which, I ought to state, that no one ever knew 
she kept one 5 I myself had not the least idea of it, 
until it was discovered after her decease ; although 
for the few happy months of our union, we were of 
one heart and soul, and were almost daily conversing 
together in the most unreserved manner of our expe- 
rience in the things of God. 

" What she appears, in that precious record she has 
left behind, that she was in real life— a Christian in- 
deed. She was not content with the ordinary attain- 
ments of Christians 5 she might be truly said to adorn 
the doctrine of God, her Saviour, in all things. The 



X ADVERTISEMENT. 

influence of the religion of Jesus, was seen and feie 
by all around, in her holy walk and conversation, and 
by the manifestation of every Christian temper. 

"I believe I may say with perfect truth, that I 
never saw any thing in her, from tke time of our mar- 
riage till the day of her death, that was inconsistent 
with that holiness, after which she continually aspired, 
and which she enjoyed in an eminent degree. Dur- 
ing that period, she never once gave the least pain 
to my mind ; nor do I recollect having observed, in 
a single instance, any temper or disposition, unbe- 
coming a Christian. 

" During the principal part of her married life, she 
suffered much bodily indisposition, on which account 
she was in a great measure prevented entering into 
those schemes of usefulness, for which she was parti- 
cularly formed, and which her benevolent heart cor- 
dially approved; but, in her family, it was her daily 
study to prove a blessing to all about her; and she 
was much concerned that our servants might have rea- 
son to bless God for bringing them under our roof; 
and she had the happiness of seeing that her prayers 
and endeavours for this purpose were not in vain. 

" My dear little girl found in her a mother ; indeed, 
had she been her own child, she could not possibly 
have given stronger proofs of maternal tenderness, af- 



ADVERTISEMENT. XI 

fection, aind care. Previous to our marriage, she care- 
fully read Mrs. Hannah More's writings on educa- 
tion, as well as some other authors on the same sub- 
ject, that she might be the better qualified to dis- 
charge what she considered a most important duty, 
viz. (to use her own words) ' to cultivate and rear 
this immortal plant for the paradise of God?* 

u She was of opinion that religion ought to be 
interwoven with the instructions of children, as soon 
as their tender minds are capable of receiving it 5 ac- 
cordingly, she began with our little Margaret as soon 
as we were married ; she was then two years old $ 
and so assiduous was she in her instructions, that in 
a short time her infant pupil could repeat the Lord's 
Prayer, and three or four of Dr. Watts's Hymns for 
children. 

u The same grace which prompted her to a life of 
active piety and usefulness when in good health, 
enabled her to bear suffering, when called to it, with 
exemplary patience and resignation. I never once 
heard an expression of murmuring or impatience es- 
cape from her lips. In her I had a living example 
of the efficacy of divine grace, and the blessedness 
of true religion. She possessed a remarkable simpli- 
city of mind, which led her to embrace truth where- 
See page 123, Diary, 15th Juce, isu. 



XII ADVERTISEMENT. 

soever she found it, though delivered iu $ie plainest 
and most homely form. She was also a possessor oi 
much genuine Christian humility 5 not indeed of that 
which consists in mere expression, but of that which 
led her to prefer others before herself 5 and notwith- 
standing 4 she possessed more than ordinary intellec- 
tual attainments, as well as more than common piety; 
she carefully avoided a display of either, and never 
suffered others with whom she might be in company.^ 
to feel auy inferiority. 

" In her Diary > she says, s Mental accomplishments 
avail little indeed, unless they regulate the heart, and 
cause the benefit to be more felt than seen; I must 
not display, but act; love and be beloved.' On these 
maxims she uniformly acted, 

"It would be easy to say mere,: but I am per 
suadfd lt.it? Hot nece&sarv 



MEMOIRS 



OF THE LATE 



MRS. COOPER. 



\JF the early life of the late Mrs. Cooper a near rela* 
tive gives the following' account : — 

" MISS MARY HANSON, eldest daughter of John 
Hanson, Esq. was born in London, Sept. 16, 1786. She 
was favoured with a religious education, and was not suf- 
fered to enter into those foolish amusements which are so 
injurious to multitudes of young persons. 

" At twelve years of age she left school, and comple- 
ted her education under private tuition. This^ with the 
encouragement held out to her application and improve- 
ment by an intelligent and affectionate brother* proved 
the means of exciting, in her ardent mind, that thirst for 
knowledge which ever after proved a source of constant 
delight. Her early years were passed in comparative 
solitude, her parents rightly judging^ that the example 
of youth, in general, afforded but few instances worthy 
of imitation. But at the time, she thought this a very 
unnecessary Strictness, and envied those whose less cau- 
tious parents suffered them to form acquaintances with- 
out inquirv or concern. 

A 



% DIARY OF 

" At this period, and previously to her leaving school? 
she often felt deep convictions of her own sinfulness^ 
and the absolute necessity of personal religion. I have 
known her frequently at school assemble several of the 
girls together in a large closet, and there speak to them ? 
and pray with so much earnestness, that they have been 
all melted to tears ; these impressions, however, were 
but as the ' morning cloud, and early dew,' and were suc- 
ceeded by a very different disposition of mind. In the 
summer of 1802, she for the first time left her parents* 
house, on a visit to Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight ; 
where the natural gaiety of her mind, which had been 
hitherto under restraint, meeting with objects congenial 
to its taste, appeared in all its ardour. Card parties and 
gay visits were now her delight ; and I have often heard 
her say that she endeavoured to disbelieve the Bibie and 
the existence of a God. The reflections of her retired 
moments were now so intolerable to her, that to drown 
them, she read with her accustomed avidity, volume af- 
ter volume of novels and romances. Fascinated with 
the world and its manners, she returned home with a 
mind little disposed to enter into those serious and self- 
denying views of religion, which the Spirit of God had 
/wrought in the minds of three in her own family, during 
her absence; she, however, attended with them at the 
Lock chapel, where the judicious and intelligent preach- 
ing of the Rev. Mr. Fry, first arrested her attention, and 
then excited in her mind an earnest concern for the sal- 
vation of her soul. She soon became a member of the 
Lock, by receiving the Sacrament administered accord- 
ing to the form of the Church of England, which she 
always preferred ; she also united herself with a society 
called a conversation meeting, under the superintendence 
of her minister, for the purpose of spiritual advautage 
and instruction; and exerted herself, to the utmost of 
her power, to instruct a large class of girls in the Sunday 
school of that society. But her removal to Hammer- 
smith, in the spring of 1803, put a period to this work 
of love in which she so much delighted ; and it was not 
until the year 1806 that an opportunity again occurred, 
of resuming her successful endeavours to impart know- 
ledge and light to the benighted minds of the ignorant 



MRS. COOPEJR. 3 

poor ; this she did, not only on the Sabbath, but constant- 
ly twice in the week ; for she devoted her evening" hours 
to instruct them in writing, arithmetic, &c." 



[In\the year 1806, Miss Hanson began to note down 
her religious experience, rather by way of meditation 
and reflection, than diary. For it does not appear that 
she began to keep a regular diary till the year 1809. 
From the age of seventeen she had renounced the world, 
being fully persuaded that none of its pleasures or pur- 
suits could impart happiness to her immortal spirit. For 
a considerable time she was a plant that flourished in 
the shade, and her real worth was little known ; but had 
God in his providence called her to a more public situa- 
tion in life, such were her natural abilities, and so high- 
ly had she cultivated them, that she would have ranked 
high among those excellent and intelligent women who 
are an honour to our country. An extract from the me- 
ditatiovs, mentioned above, will more justly portray her 
character than any thing that could be said by any 
other person. The first entry of this kind is dated in 
her twentieth year] 

July 20, 1816. 
" Happiness is the universal object of pursuit; but 
how various are the ways which men propose to them- 
selves for its attainment! When the desired object is 
possessed, alas ! it also has inscribed upon it c vanity 
and vexation of spirit.* The hope still remains that the 
next attempt will prove more successful; but alas! it is 
not in the power of finite creatures to impart it. God, 
in his wisdom, has made us dependent on himself for 
happiness ; he has given us a free will, to choose this 
world for our portion 3 or, Himself, from whom flow 
pleasures for evermore. Sin has so bewildered, so dark- 
ened the faculties of our souls, that every thiug beyond 
what is finite, is enveloped in a mist. Revelation, the 
best gift of God to man, unfolds the glories of an invisi- 
ble world. The solitude 1 have so long enjoyed, and 
vet, alas ! so little improved, has often led me to retire 



4 DIARY OF 

into my own mind, and converse with my heart. I have 
discovered a jewel, little prized because little known, 
This treasure, bestowed on all God's creatures, when 
improved, may become a source of consolation and feli- 
city that will make them superior to the contempt of men, 
and the agitations of disquietude. I feel convinced that 
to improve my intellectual powers is to have in store a 
constant spring of delights: it may prevent me from 
yunning into those snares, which are held out as baits 
to the vacant, listless mind. But let me not forget that 
^nward monitor, that soul bestowed upon me ; that it is 
immortal, and will return to God who gave it, and that 
it is made capable of happiness or misery beyond this 
visible state. The thread of life, so very slender, so 
soon broken, is in the hand of God. O ! thou Searcher 
of hearts, cold and senseless as 1 am to spiritual things, 
let not a consideration at once so awful and impressive^ 
pass over my mind without its due weight. 

August 10, 1806. 

The cultivation of patience and meekness, both person- 
ally and relatively, is of the utmost social importance. 
If meekness in the sight of God is of great price, how 
must the possession and exercise of that spirit promote 
the peace of the possessor, and diffuse the charms of kind- 
ness around. In a moral point of view, the government 
of the passions, when heathenish darkness prevailed, was 
esteemed the highest pitch of moral perfection ; and wor- 
thy the endeavour of every man. Socrates proved how 
the exercise of his reason could subdue dispositions of the 
worst kind; mental energy could repress passions, whichj 
if unsubdued, would, like a torrent, bear down every 
thing before them. If a man, destitute of the meridian 
light cf revelation, ignorant of the purity of the Deity, 
surrounded by superstition and Pagan brutality, could 
thus triumph over himself, how should a Christian blush, 
who indulges every rising disposition, and suffers pas- 
sions to be unchecked, which disturb the harmony of 
social intercourse, and exclude the sweet breath of peace ! 

I desire to live and act as in the sight of God; of him 
who gave an example of what his followers should be. 
Professors of religion, while they study to preserve out 



MRS. COOPER. . O 

ward decency and circumspection of deportment, too 
often stop there. — This is a stumbling-block to many. 
Is this all Christianity has effected? Was it for this only, 
the great Sacrifice was made ? Blush, Christian ! and be 
not called by that holy name, while you indulge dispo- 
sitions and propensities which are in direct opposition to 
the lovely spirit of the gospel. It breathes love and be- 
nevolence. The old nature of passion, revenge, malice, 
and envy, is to pass away, and the new nature of meek- 
ness, gentleness, and easiness to be entreated, to take 
its place. — It requires both holiness of heart and life. 
Hence the serenity of the Christian is secured: and he 
is made capable of tasting that peace which passeth alL 
understanding. 

December 21, 1806. 
The happy retirement with which Providence has so 
long blessed me, affords me many opportunities for re- 
flection, and the exercise of those powers with which 
man was endowed, — the remains of his high original ; 
for, in the image of God was man created. An immor- 
tal being should be a reflecting being, whose chief end 
is to glorify God. I should then deem it a privilege, 
that the meaus afforded to me, are so favourable to my 
improvement in virtue and the knowledge of my Creator. 
My knowledge of the world has been sufficient to con- 
vince me, there is nothing in it capable of satisfying a 
soul formed for eternity. Happiness eludes our grasp 
like the moonlight shadow: if sought in the amusements 
of life, an hour's reflection discovers to us the dismal 
vacuum. Satiety often succeeds enjoyment. Amidst 
this general gloom, this chaos of disquietude, how delight- 
fully does Christianity break in. It tells us not to love 
the world nor the things of the world ; our own experi\ 
ence proves the substance of all it contains; vanity, vex- 
ation of spirit. Are we left helpless in this state ? O no ! 
consolation to the afflicted — repose to the weary — safety 
in danger — comfort in death, are all offered freely ; and 
are all sealed to those who will accept of them by the 
blood of the Son of God. Christianity smooths the rug- 
ged path of life *, it fills the soul with a divine compo- 
sure : creates at times a heavenly calm and foretaste of 
A 2 



6 DIARY OF 

the blessedness in reversion. When alone, to reflect 
that God is with you, his Spirit engaged to assist and 
sanctify you, and Christ to justify and save you — O 
divine consolation ! let me fear nothing so much as a de- 
parture from God, as a carelessness about my soul ; a 
thoughtlessness about eternity. In departing from Thee 
I depart from happiness. To fear Thee is rectitude, to 
know Thee is wisdom, and to love Thee felicity. 

Nov. 1, 1807. 

When in secret retirement I reflect on the many illus- 
trious saints who have sojourned here on earth, who have 
had to contend with inward and outward trials and vex- 
ations : when further I view them in the chamber of 
death, hear the last groan that can ever escape them ; 
and trace their flight to those realms of blessedness 
where no sigh can ever enter to interrupt the harmony 
of the skies, or the internal repose of its inhabitants — 
whence is this lukewarmness of soul, this indifference 
which so successfully takes possession of my spirit? 
Why am I not animated by the review of those who have 
fought and triumphed, and have attained those mansions 
of everlasting rest ? 

Now, that outward circumstances so much conspire to 
render a life of religion easy 5 blessed with every exter- 
nal help ; how is it that the world claims so large a por- 
tion of that heart which I would fain give up entirely to 
my Maker? O my God ! what reason have I to dread 
lest future days should find me enslaved in sin ; greedy 
of the pleasures this life affords. O let not that heart 
which has tasted the delights of communion with Thee a 
those lips which have spoken thy praise, ever prove so 
treacherous to the beneficent Author of my being ! 

When I view taweand eternity as to their effect upon 
the soul, I am convinced how low sunk in sin must my 
spirit be, which, thus practically mismeasures them. 
In a little time, ruin will drive his ploughshare o'er this 
creation ; the thunder of heaven will burst with tenfold 
violence; the lightnings will make the impending gloom 
tremendously visible 5 the elements shall become the in- 
struments in the hand of the Deity, to proclaim to man 
fjmt the hour of retribution is come ! By terrors shaH 



MRS. COOPER. I 

\hey now learn, that time is to be now swallowed up in 
the ocean of eternity. 

Fast Day, Feb, 17, 1808. 

As indisposition deprives me of the use of public or- 
dinances, I will attempt to supply the want of them by 
a more particular examination of my own heart. 

On this day, wisely appropriated for a season of na- 
tional self-recollection and repentance, I would not have 
myself added to the number of those, who defeat the 
purpose of the institution by a coldness and indifference, 
or total neglect of its due observance. 

As in the sight of God, I would search out those secret 
sins, which have so much separated me from those di- 
vine consolations and gracious influences, which I be- 
lieve I once experienced ; and here I blush at the re- 
collection, that to my closet, I at once trace the cause 
of all those heart-wanderings, that spiritual indifference, 
which, alas! has too often grieved the Holy Spirit who. 
has striven with me. 

" I hate the sins that made Thee mourn, 
t* And drove Thee from my breast.'* 

Prayer, by which only that mysterious communica- 
tion between the Creator and his creatures, can be 
maintained : prayer, which has sometimes introduced a 
very heaven into the soul 5 the most exalted and blissful 
employment of finite creatures; that which angels be- 
hold with delight, and devils tremble to view; alas? 
alas ! how often has a stupid indifference been substitu- 
ted for this. I have entered my closet, have shut the 
door, and strangely forgotten that the eyes of the Lord 
were upon a stupid senseless creature. Little did the 
humble posture of my body accord with a rebellious 
stubborn heart, alive to everything but its eternal inter- 
ests! 

. Prayer, formally, carelessly performed. — O my God? 
I confess with shame and confusion of face, that from 
this I trace pride, self-sufficiency, worldly-mindedness, 
and an indifference to those ordinances which once filled 
my soul with calm delight. 



§ DIARY OF 

Sometimes, indeed, when I have asked my own heart 
on entering" upon my devotions, ' What is it you need ? 
God knows and beholds you.' Then have I been ena- 
bled to pour out my soul in confessing 1 my sins, and have 
found lively impressions of the presence of God ; and 
have arisen determined to be more diligent in obtaining 
an acquaintance with my own heart. But a few days 
have shown me the treachery of my intentions, and the 
impossibility, without the assistance of God's Spirit, of 
maintaining anything like the life and power of religion 
within me. The grace of God, like a spark in the ocean, 
can only be kept alive by a miracle. 

O, thou gracious Being ! do thou pardon these my 
misdoings, do thou purify my soul from its many cor- 
ruptions, and let thy blessed Spirit strive once more 
within me. O, renew my soul ! Place eternity, with all 
its blissful enjoyments before me, that I may choose 
Thee for my portion and happiness. 

The vain and unsatisfying enjoyments of this world, 
which have had so much influence on me, O let them 
fade from my remembrance; let me view them in their 
true colours, and feel them in their deceitful tendency. 
Lord, thou didst create me for immortality. When the 
breath of life entered this corruptible body, I became a 
sojourner in a land which yields not fruits of such a na- 
ture as are sufficient to satisfy a soul journeying to ano- 
ther country 5 O may I live before Thee for ever ! 

Sunday, Feb. 21, 1808. 

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, that 
maketh the Lord his portion ; who, with eyes filled with 
tears of gratitude, can say, c The Lord is my shepherd/ 
Blessings, beyond mortal calculation, are included in 
this personal appropriation. 

Thus to regard that God, of whose approach thunders 
and lightnings were the symbols, when about to dis- 
pense his laws to his creatures; to call him by that en- 
dearing epithet — What a mysterious privilege! My soul, 
do thou diligently seek to be included in the number of 
that blessed flock. He who said, < Let there be light, 
and there was light ;' who, by an act of his will, creat- 
ed man : and ? bat for infinite love, might have destroyed 



MRS. COOPER. # 

him when he broke the only command imposed on him ; 
he who taketh up the isles as a very little thing, who 
counteth the nations as a drop of a bucket — even this 
God proposes himself for thy portion, O my soul ! 

Lost in the contemplation of thy attributes, teach me, 
O Lord, to comprehend how it is, so intimate a relation 
as a father and child can subsist between Thee, who art 
infinitely great, and a rebellious lost child of Adam ? It 
is enough ; that holy word, inscribed by thejpen of mercy, 
exhibits it to my understanding. I would wonder and 
adore. 

Why did I not behold the light in regions where stocks 
and stones are the objects of adoration ? why do I not 
owe my origin to parents who have substituted Moham- 
med for Christ ? To distinguishing mercy alone, we owe 
the privilege of reading that blessed word, which a 
few centuries ago was denied to all but a domineering 
priesthood. O my God, how imperfect is the attempt to 
acknowledge the gratitude I would feel in having pa- 
rents who fear Thee ; who have taught me thy word 3 
and brought me up with a reverence for thy ordinances : 
my heart, so prone to be rebellious, so alive to vanity, so 
negligent of self-inquiry, what would it have been, or 
rather, what would it not have been, had they intro- 
duced me to the follies, and the dissipation to which 
thousands, less distinguished than myself, have become 
a ready prey : a prey to that euemy who ever watches 
the unwatchful; who lurks to destroy ; who strews the 
paths of youth with snares and baits, that he may carry 
them captive. 

If, after the enumeration of such privileges, I should 
be found a mere speculative believer, a practical Atheist, 
how great the condemnation! 

If religion be true, it ought to be the grand object of 
my life — the supreme concern of my heart. 

April 8, 1808. 
When the world, with its siren smiles, tempts us to 
drink deep of its enjoyments ; when it would allure us 
into the paths of security, and whisper peace to the soul $ 
youth, unsuspecting youth, fondly believes it true. In 
the spring of life, how many sweet-scented flowers meet 



10 lilARY OF 

us in our path ; while regaling our senses with their 
beauty, we forget that winter will seclude them from our 
view — that darkness succeeds to light, and that calms 
precede storms. When disappointment lowers, and the 
eloud of affliction seems just ready to burst j then it is 
the world is stript of its mask, and its true character 
rushes on the view. Life is a chequered scene. As 
soon as our frail bark is committed to the mighty deep, 
the waves and billows of disquietude roll over our heads. 
If religion be the pilot, we are safe in the storm. I de- 
sire to lay the foundation of my happiness upon that rock, 
against which the afflictive uncertainties of this life must 
dash in. vain : on this foundation the peace of my soul 
shall rest secure. 

The firm persuasion I have of a particular providence, 
Gf the divine superintendence in every affair of my life, 
will console me under every disappointment. When I 
view mankind, their disappointments, miseries, disease, 
and wretchedness, and see that each individual has a 
cup of sorrow to drink ; I feel surprised that this world 
should ever appear alluring to my eyes ; that it should 
ever lay siege to my heart with so much success ; that 
the things relative to another world should be so dimly 
viewed, so little prized. Religion, if it be sincere, 
must be the prevailing disposition of the mind ; it must 
supersede every thing else ; it must be a progressive 
work, and the soul must be preparing for a state of per* 
feet holiness" 



[For about four years after the family went to reside 
wholly at Hammersmith, Miss Hanson devoted a con- 
siderable part of her leisure time to the improvement 
of her mind, and in this she found a source of pleasure, 
which she valued far more than those empty pursuits, 
which engage the attention of too many of her own age j 
and it appears from the following memorandum that s^e 
pursued some method in her studies.] 



MRS. COOPER. 1 i 

May 2, 1808. 

a The practice of early rising will, I hope, afford me 
ample opportunity of pursuing the following course and 
arrangement of reading : 

Begin every morning with reading a chapter in the 
Old Testament, and one in the New. 

My devotional exercises to succeed. 

Monday, — History, with Maps. Gibbon's Rome to 
succeed Ferguson's Republic. 

Tuesday. — Natural history in turn, comprising botany, 
chymistry, and astronomy. 

fVedn esday . — History. 

Thursday. — The English poets, make extracts from 
each; and one chapter of Locke on the Understanding* 

Friday. — Natural history. 

Saturday. — History. 

Sunday. — The Scriptures, and other devotional books. 15 



[In October, 1808, the gentleman, whose ministry she 
then attended, died. This circumstance seems to have 
affected her mind deeply, and in consequence, she was 
led to make the following serious reflections.] 

Oct. 6, 1808. 
u The remains of our beloved pastor, the Rev. W. 
Humphries, I have this day seen consigned to the silent 
tomb. His grave has been bedewed with the tears of 
his sorrowing flock; who have committed to the cold 
ground a man who possessed every grace that could en- 
dear a minister to his people. Such a life, and such a 
death ! O may they be eugraven on the tablet of my re- 
membrauce! Angels have conveyed him to the bosom 
of his Redeemer: and there he rests from pain, toil, and 
sorrow. Death has introduced him to that inheritance, 
that mansion of bliss prepared for him. Whilst we, en- 
compassed by dull mortality, mourn on earth, he has 
reached his port, the haven of celestial rest. The glo- 
ries of the eternal world are gradually unfolding on his 
astonished sight : and now, could he once more address 



12 DIARY OP 

us, how forcibly would he urge tire importance of press- 
ing forward in the heavenly road, and of laying" hold on 
eternal life! 

May I ever remember what a shining light he was, 
how the rays of his benignity were shed around on all 
who knew him. The image of the Redeemer was stamp- 
ed on his life and conversation. Like him may I be de- 
voted to God, and find in devotion a resource and re- 
freshment to which my weary soul may betake itself, and 
find the dawnings of heaven. The soul, that immortal 
principle, which will survive the conflagration of the 
universe, was formed to live for ever : and that dissatis- 
faction, attendant on the possession of every earthly 
good, that vacuum which nothing sublunary can fill; 
that proneness to look forward in search of something 
yet unpossessed ; how does all this prove its immortal 
destination? A heavenly spark which first emanated from 
the Deity. O may T more diligently converse with my 
own heart ; and feel more practically the immense im- 
portance of living to the God who made me. 

Sunday^ Oct 16, 1808. 
The services of this day have been so peculiarly so- 
lemn and affecting, that 1 desire to make a memorial of 
the impressions made on my mind. At once sensible 
of the immense importance of Christianity $ and the levity 
and thoughtlessuess of my heart ; I wish to improve by 
inflection those seasons when my mind has been im- 
pressed, and my affections raised to those spiritual ob- 
jects, which I earnestly trust will be the portion of my 
soul for ever. Our dear minister has left us; at the 
summons of his God, his soul took its flight to the regions 
of eternal bliss; but his example^ his life, and holy con- 
versation, which the voice of friendship has so faithfully 
detailed, still lives in my remembrance; lovely in life, 
O how lovely in death ! When I gazed on his remains^ 
which still bore the impress of that serenity with which 
he met the summons of death ; how ardently did I pant 
for a share in that salvation which in such a season, 
could encircle the brow with composure, the spirit with 
delight Let me view his life : the young were the pe- 



i 



Mrs. cooper. 15 

Culiar objects of his solicitude ; for them he laboured^ 
and by ten thousand nameless instances won upon their 
affections, and made them admire the piety so influen- 
tial in himself. He sought the Lord early, and his pro- 
gress was never impeded by the indulgence of worldly 
habits. He continued steadfast in his course, and by his 
life and conversation evinced how practical Christianity 
shines : how superior to a mere speculative reception of 
its truths — to a flaming zeal about certain doctrines* 
which, while they engage the head, freeze the heart, and 
limit that spirit of benevolence which diffuses the charms 
of kindness to all around.. His sun has set at noon. He 
was ripe for the heavenly inheritance : his gentle spirit, 
disencumbered of mortality, is now in possession of that 
happiuess purchased by the Son of God ; ' who wept 
that man might smile, who bled that man might never 
die.' 

Why is it that my soul is so content with earthly fare ? 
why does it lay schemes of bliss below the skies ? why 
are my affections so engrossed by material things, while 
that spark of fire divine, which ought to flame with love 
to God, is unimproved ? alas, how oft is this unnoticed. 

November 15, 1808. 

To a social mind, pleasures derive an increase of en- 
joyment from communication : and sorrows which op- 
press the heart, how greatly are they alleviated by the 
kindness of a sympathizing friend , by the balm of affec- 
tion poured into the wounded heart. But there is a 
melancholy which tinges every rising pleasure with 
discontent, which repels consolation ; its existence in 
the mind is nurtured with mournful delight, and, unsa- 
tisfied with this World, it disdains its offered comforts. 

Thus I (ee) 9 and acknowledge the mercy, mingled with 
judgment, that appoints to each probationer for heaven 
a cup of sorrow ; were it not for this, the soul would 
grovel here below, it would become captivated with 
earthly possessions^nor glance a thought on the appoint- 
ed end for which it exists. The gold would never be 
separated from the dross j were it, instead of passing 
through the furnace, to be exposed only to the sunshine, 
there H might lie for ever unaltered. Prosperity is a, 

B 



• 14 ilARY OF 

severe trial to the Christian ; when the path is strewed 
With roses, and nature, attired in loveliness, invites us to 
gaze and be satisfied with a paradise here below, how 
readily does the heart obey its dictates 5 how disposed 
to lose itself in the possession of present happiness 5 and to 
forget, that winter, with an unsparing" hand, will dismantle 
nature of its beauties ; that the clouds will gather black- 
ness, and the big tempest burst upon our heads. It is 
then in despondency we look around, and ask for the 
* sea that knows no storms ;? for the port in which the 
mariners will find an exemption from the waves and bil- 
lows of disquietude. O my God, let me seek thee in 
health, and thou wilt be near me in sickness 3 be thou 
the supreme object of my regard in prosperity, and then 
I shall not have to look around in vain for comfort, when 
chill adversity lifts its correcting hand ; in seasons like 
the present, when my spirit, pervaded with gloom, finds 
no comfort but in aspirations after thee. O from Hea- 
ven, thy dwelling-place, lend a listening ear, make me 
to pant after thee ! May I never feel a stupid indiffer- 
ence and lukewarmness in the pursuit of an eternal ex- 
emption from pain and sorrow. 

Eternity! thou pleasing, dreadful thought — Time, 
what is it ? a moment, a vapour, a shadow ; all, all com- 
parison fails. Eternity is a boundless ocean, in which 
the emancipated spirit shall enjoy the smile, or sustain 
the frowns and vengeance, of the Deity for ever.'" 



[The six following months she appears to have devo- 
ted, in a peculiar manner, to the cultivation of her mind, 
in various branches of useful knowledge; the study of 
history still being paramount to all others : ^and yet not 
pursued so as to exclude more serious subjects; for with 
this she frequently connected a deep consideration of 
her eternal interests ; as the following extracts from her 
journal sufficiently prove :] 



1 



MRS. COOPER. IS 

November IS, 1808. 

u I find considerable pleasure in Gibbon's Decline and 
>Fall of the Roman Empire ; it is a great monument of 
buman genius and human fallibility. His invidious al- 
lusions to Christianity, I was prepared to meet ; when 
entering' on it, I begged of God to guard my mind from 
error, and not to suffer me to imbibe its sceptical spirit. 
My mind is perhaps in a degree fortified, by a previous 
examination of the evidences on which our religion rests. 
Where I have thought Gibbon's representations of eccle- 
siastical facts have been obscured by the darkness of 
his mind and intentions, I have referred to the same 
period in Milner's Church History, and am not left to 
draw my conclusions of Christianity from his represen- 
tation of its progress and adherents 5 if I were, my in- 
ferences would be very unfavourable. 

In the pure and invigorating atmosphere of the Roman 
republic, in which one delights to trace the progress of 
civilization, freedom, conquest, and philosophy ; the hu- 
man intellect was cultivated to a high pitch of perfection ; 
but this state was succeeded by a gradual prostration of 
the minds of men. In reflecting on the cause of this, I 
was reminded of the case of a man, who beginning with 
but little property, gradually amassed a large fortune, 
for the attainment of which great assiduity and exertion 
were necessary ; he omitted nothing likely to improve 
and accelerate the objects of his pursuit ; riches are in- 
creased, large estates purchased, he sits down at his 
ease, and thinks of nothing but enjoyment; luxuries 
steal upon him, and he becomes more and more ener- 
vated 5 you look in vain for the industrious, persevering, 
self-denying man ; no trace is left; and his successors 
become enchained to their estates : their faculties, not 
being exercised, grow torpid 5 their talents are swal- 
lowed up in sensuality 5 they are slaves to their pas- 
sions, and they become slaves in their country. 

December 25, 1808. 
The cultivation of my understanding has long been 
my aim and desire, and the time usually devoted by those 
of my own age and sex, to pleasure and frivolity, hajs 



Id DIARY OF 



sof 



been spent in more rational pursuits. The restraints 
education were, in the first instance, imposed upon me 
this yoke I impatiently bore ; but when, by the mercy 
of God, I was made sensible of the vanity of worldly 
pursuits, and their dangerous tendency ; and, above all, 
was convinced that I had an immortal soul within me, that 
an omnipresent Deity was the witness of my actions, the 
searcher of my heart and intentions 5 I was, I trust, 
made desirous of choosing God for my portion. Man 
must have recreations, resources, pleasures ; the improve- 
ment of the mind, of the reasoning faculties, appears 
the noblest and most rational of indulgences. Know- 
ledge has been so captivating to my imagination, that I 
have with eagerness snatched every spare moment for 
its attainment. While endeavouring to scan the great 
arcana of nature; to trace the finger of the Deity 
in every production ; to mark his obvious designs in every 
creature of his hand ; with what a double relish have I 
viewed the works of the great Creator ; how has my 
heart glowed with joy in exploring these fields of novel- 
ty and information ; nothing so much tends to exalt our 
ideas of God ; nothing is so calculated to produce hu- 
mility ; nature is open for our perusal, and, by its beau- 
ties, alluring to the observer. How powerfully does the 
immensity of the great Creator strike the soul, when 
contemplating the starry hosts, when wrapt in astonish- 
ment, the spirit rises to the stars, and views them as the 
creation of its Father's band. O ! endearing title 5 
though he dwells in the highest heavens, be has also his 
residence in the humble and contrite heart ; which is as 
much the object of his care as if it alone existed. 

When dissolving nature shall proclaim that the hour 
of retribution is at band ; when the rocks and mountains 
shall prove a vain defence against the piercing eye of 
the avenging Deity. O that I may hail the moment as 
the time of my complete happiness, when soul and body, 
once more united, shall rise to eternal happiness 
Why do I ever linger in pursuit of such a prize ? It 
is my desire to have a greater acquaintance with God 
and his works, and more humbling views of myself. I 
wish to strive against every appearance of vanity, con- 
ceit, and self-sufficiency. Knowledge, without wisdom, 
pufFeth up ; I would, in this respect, watch my heart. 



MRS. COOPER. 17 

History I much delight in; and the perusal of Rollin, 
Ferguson, and Gibbon, has not only entertained, but 
much instructed me. To be made acquainted with the 
transactions of ages long since passed away ; of empires 
which once existed in all earthly splendour, now known 
only in the scanty page of history ; to trace the actions 
of great and virtuous men, though involved in Pagan 
darkness; their love of virtue, so far as they knew it ; 
their patriotism, which led them to sacrifice all for their 
country; how entertaining and Instructive! The His- 
tory of Greece, in a lively, forcible manner, portrays 
the effects of freedom and philosophy. Pericles, Aris- 
tides, Socrates, Epaminondas, all successively rivet the 
attention and excite admiration. 

The career of these great men was generally closed 
by the effects of the blackest ingratitude from their 
countrymen ; their sun, which rose in splendour, and 
ascended to its meridian without a cloud to shade its 
giories, set in blackness and darkness; their services 
forgotten in the torrent of envy and malignity, which 
obscured their last days. Painful are the instances of 
the vicissitudes of fortune; dreadful the effects of the 
unrestrained passions of men : but how obvious, to a 
reflecting mind, is the superintendence of Providence 
over the creation. Great men, raised up for peculiar 
ends ; kings, who had grossly abused their diadem, and 
made their supreme power the instrument of intolerance 
and oppression to their subjects, are made to lick the 
dust; and, hurled from their splendour, feel the bitter 
pangs of remorse. Nations who have filled up the mea- 
sure of their iniquities, become successively the prey of 
barbarians ; all work together for some great political 
universal good ; all proclaim his care, who at once views 
causes and effects; and sees from beginning to end. 

Christianity certainly lost much of its primitive sim- 
plicity when Constantine made it an appendage to the 
state. His patronage introduced numbers into the 
church, who made religion a worldly gain. Pampered 
in courts, its adherents lost sight of our Saviour's decla- 
ration, i My kingdom is not of this world.' The church 
became rapidly corrupt*. The fifth and sixth ceuturie- 
B2 



IS DIARY OF 

present a most awful picture of the abuse and degene- 
racy of Christianity ; a slight difference of opinion was 
sufficient to arm the opponents with swords, and every 
weapon that could in any wise injure their adversary. 
The worship of images, the supremacy of the bishop of 
Rome, seemed to proclaim the reign of Antichrist: and 
Mohammed the impostor was certainly destined toscourge 
those Christian nations, who had provoked God by their * 
idolatrous antichristian acts. 

I could not read the dissemination of his principles, 
and the rapidity of his conquests, without viewing the 
just judgments of God on those nations, who seemed 
sensual enough to admit just such opinions, and such a 
religion, as Mohammed was about to enforce upon them. 
by the power of the sword. O God, thy judgments are 
just and righteous altogether ! 

Jan. 1, 1809. 

' We take no note of time butficm its loss.* 

I have just closed another year of my mortal account j 
it is an epoch which demands reflection, as, ere the close 
of the present one, the angel of death may swear that 
time with me shall be no longer. As the veil which now 
separates me from eternity may be drawn aside, and the 
realities of a future state burst on my astonished soul , 
it becomes me, therefore, as a being on whom God has 
bestowed an immortal spirit, to make ready, and to live 
in daily expectation of an event, which, from its uncer- 
tainty, is of the utmost importance; and from its conse- 
quences, of tremendous moment. — Strange the infatua- 
tion that there can be triflers on the brink of such a 
precipice ! The beasts of the field, the birds of the air, 
all fulfil the appointed end of their existence ; shall I, 
endued with a rational soul, an immortal priuciple, live 
to myself, confine my hopes, views, and expectations, to 
this transitory state, this commencement of being, 
where thorns and briers annoy my path ; and where I 
may to-morrow be bereft of every comfort ? Forbid it, 
O God ! make me more diligent, more earnest in my de- 
sires after theej more watchful over my own heart 5 and 



MftS. COOPER. 19 

more willing to prepare myself, by a holy life, for the 
enjoyment of thy presence for ever. Let not my ear- 
nestness in the pursuit of knowledge be a snare to me, 
either by occupying' too much of my thoughts, to the 
exclusion of devotion, or by making me proud and osten- 
tatious: rather let it be an increasing cause of humility, 
never to estimate nor regard people according to their 
acquirements, but according to their character and good 
sense : for, had they possessed opportunities and advan- 
tages equally favourable to the improvement of their 
minds, they might have exercised their talents to better 
purpose. By the cultivation of my mind, the exercise 
of my reason, I hope, in future life, to fill up my station 
more rationally, and with a greater share of propriety 
than those who either have not had, or have voluntarily 
neglected, the same means of improvement To be rea- 
sonable in my judgment, liberal in my opinion, benevo- 
lent in my intentions, will, I hope, be the lasting prac- 
tical effects of my present desires of information : 
ever to remark the great chain of Providence, every 
link of which is necessary to the completion of his de- 
signs. The inequalities of good and evil in this life ; 
the sufferings of virtue, the triumphs of vice ; all this 
will be cleared up at the day of retribution. It is God 
who commands the raging of the seas, who, for wise 
designs, permits the existence of evil. 

January 22, 1809. 

I feel the importance of a consistent and uniform de- 
votedness to religion; and desire diligently to cultivate 
my heart, to watch over the risings of irregular tempers, 
and to repress every irritable thought. How delightful 
to be the mean of infusing serenity and benevolence; 
to cheer the path of life by an habitual disposition to 
extract sweet from bitter : the thorn from the rose ! — 

Religion ! what does it effect, unless the heart be trans- 
formed: meekness should take place of anger; kindness 
of revenge ; love of hatred. To be decided in this mo- 
mentous contest, to wage a constant warfare with the 
natural corruptions of the heart; this habitual decision 
alone can give that peace which the gospel proclaims to 



20 DIARY OF 

be the portion of the upright. The heart must be devot 
ed to God ; the breathings of the soul must be after him ; 
conformity to him must be the predominant principle of 
the soul. The wheels of time are rapidly rolling" on 5 
the contest, though it be severe, is short : and what is 
life ? O ! it is all important ; here we perform our little 
part ; but, ah ! an eternity depends on the right improve- 
ment of time. By the word of God I shall be judged; 
how deeply conversant ought I then to be with its sacred 
contents, not to peruse it with the same carelessness as 
another book, but diligently to study it, and to medi- 
tate upon it. I ought to keep stated seasons for prayer 
and meditation. I should not be discouraged by want 
of fervour ; for though the duty be at first discouraging, 
yet, by persevering in the use of the meansj a blessing 
must ensue. O God I enable me thus to act. 

January 30, 1809. 
In such a night as this, when every rising blast chills 
the soul, and threatens destruction to all around, I am 
ready to say, the Lord is abroad : who can now say I 
rest securely ? who is safe but he who can wrap himself 
in the arms of omnipotence ? and who defies storms and 
tempests to separate him from his love, who carries the 
lambs in his bosom ? The righteous only, shall abide 
under the shadow of the Almighty. Tempests remind 
us of thy existence, O God ! of thy superintendence, 
and of our feebleness and dependence upon thee : the 
shakings of the nations, the concussions of the elements, 
all proclaim thy judgments. — O! that they may not speak 
in vain. To lay up a treasure in Heaven, that is wis- 
dom ; and though this life be troublous, and its path 
thorny, 

* Why grievous these appear, 

' If all jt pays for Heaven's eternal year; 

4 If these sad sods, and piteous sighs, secure 

1 Delights that live, when worlds no more endure .* 

This is only a state of probation : born, that we may 
live for ever: why then should the delights of earth 
allure us to that precipice of pleasure, whence the soul 
dares not look beyond present enjoyments: it is a pre- 



MRS. COOPER. 21 

eipice and a dangerous one. Death may receive its 
commission to summon us before his tribunal, who de- 
mands the whole heart, who hates divided affections; 
if, instead of acting as immortal beings, we live in a 
state of sensation little superior to the brutes, whose 
appetites alone guide them ; how awful must the state 
be when the union is dissolved between the body and 
the living principle within! When its faculties are no 
longer corporeally clouded, no more shackled by sense; 
how exquisite must be its feelings, how changed its ca- 
pacities. May a constant preparation for the eternal 
world be a paramount consideration with me. — May 1 
have habitual desires of acquaintance with God, and 
cultivate a spirit of dependence upon him. O! that the 
Spirit of God may enlighten my eyes, and illuminate 
my dark benighted soul. 

Feb. 19, 1809. 
The grand resurrection of nature is now approaching, 
and the mind, attuned to contemplation, dilates with 
joy in listening to the first warblings of the grateful 
songsters : their cheerful notes seem their tribute of 
praise to him who has fed them in the past season. The 
embryo blossoms, kind nature has preserved with much 
care, row burst forth. There lives and works a soul in 
all things ; and that soul is God — -How rich is nature in 
amusements! its varieties, what a field for curiosity, 
wonder, and interest! The mind, abstracted by these 
delightful speculations, is independent; sources ever 
within reach, while they fill the mind with rapture, and 
point to the great first cause; they instruct the heart ; 
and, while the heavenly hosts fill the skies nightly with 
silent pomp, make us exclaim, Lord, what is man ! And 
when an apprehension arises, that, amidst the infinity 
of his works, so insignificant a being might be overlook- 
ed; the unbelieving suggestion is quelled by the vo- 
lume of nature; it is he that causes the grass to spring 
forth : it is he that gives the fowls of the air their food ; 
he car 'th even for them ! how much more then for man, 
whose being he sustains ; and who was created in his 
image. The Christian desires to consecrate all his pur^ 
suits to the service of God ; and whether his provident 



22 DIARY OF 

tial dominion be traced in history or in philosophy, ail 
may be made subservient to the great end of our exist- 
ence. To improve and cultivate the rational powers is 
worthy of an intelligent being 1 , on whom God has be- 
stowed an active living principle, independent of that 
body which is, for a season only, its companion : this 
will mingle with the dust ; but the soul, capable of plea- 
sure and pain, will survive the world, and know no eud. 
Childhood is a state of probation for manhood, and 
this life for another. Virtue and vice, in a degree, re- 
ceive their reward in this life j not completely so ; it is 
the prerogative of Omniscience alone to assign hereaf- 
ter rewards and punishments. I must then conclude, 
that the chief business of my life should be to secure 
the favour of my Creator; I am not left to wander in 
the mazes of philosophy, the erring dictates of fallen 
reason ; their light was indeed darkness, darkness visi- 
ble. Revelation, that meridian sun, has opened a way 
of access to the offended Deity ; justice and mercy are 
reconciled, and man may be a partaker of the blessings 
of salvation. 

April 30, 1809. 
How delightful is the contemplation of the works of 
God ! my enraptured eye runs over the productions of 
the earth with a curiosity and interest that never leave 
me : the passing clouds, the opening flowers, the sweet 
river, whose constant changes give a variety to the 
scenes, how successively do these steal on my imagina- 
tion, and oft-times how inexpressibl e is my gratitude for 
receiving from the hands of God so many outward bless- 
ings ; aud a mind capable of drawing the truest delight 
from them. But, oh, yon beauteous cloud has vanished, 
and the flowers which I delight to view will fade and 
die 3 nature, and all her loveliness, is but transitory in 
ner duration. Time with me has a destined pr-riod ; 
but time is a loan, of the misimprovement of which my 
God will require a strict account. Does not reason im- 
periously demand that the Author of my being should 
receive the homage of my heart ? thus far it goes, but 
no farther. Revelation takes me up where reason 
leaves me 5 it has drawn aside the veil, and made mar! 



MRS. COOPER. 23 

feat a mode of access whereby the Deity receives into 
the arms of his love the creature who had revolted 
from his government ; but who returns with penitential 
tears, and asks for mercy through the atoning- sacrifice. 

O ! my soul, do thou press forward with more alacrity 
m the heavenly road 5 much is to be done; a corrupt 
heart must be renewed; the motives of thy conduct 
must be traced to the love of God ; every attainment in 
knowledge must be consecrated to God, must be subser- 
vient to the end of thy being; and humility must mark 
every part of this deportment. How much is to be 
done? but what is the alternative? — Endless blessed- 
ncss, or endless misery. 

By prayer, and dependence on God, I hope to over- 
come that slothfulness of Spirit which has so much pre- 
vailed over me. I trace much to the loss of time in bed ; 
it has occasioned me to hurry over my devotions, and 
produced a lassitude of mind which has operated seusi- 
bly on all my undertakings. I do propose now to rise at 
or before **>, and to offer my feeble orisons to God in a 
more becoming heart- felt manner. My other studies to 
be orderly pursued. — History, natural and moral philo- 
sophy, particularly Locke's Conduct of the Understand- 
ing. My heart ought to overflow with gratitude to that 
Being who has so profusely bestowed his mercies upon 
me. Had I lived in a town or c\iy, how would the 
morning of my days have confined my understanding, 
cramped my views and my delights in the works of na- 
ture. Retirement, I thank thee ; from thy calm influ- 
ence I have been taught to seek in an improvement of 
my understanding, pleasures which live within my con- 
stant reach : the superiority of these, to the trifling, un- 
satisfactory vanities of the world, have made me hug 
them to my heart) and court their continued influence." 



[The following letter, containing the plan of a corres- 
pondence between her and her eldest brother ?s a. proof 



24* DIARY OF 

of her early attention to the cultivation both of her mind 
and heart : and how much sound judgment and con- 
science were consulted, even in what was at that time 
considered as little else than recreation.] 

Lower Mall, Nov. 5, 1806. 
" My Dear Brother, 

A letter of very ancient date (July 10th,) now before 
me, silently reproves, my negligence 5 the time which 
has elapsed might warrant your concluding I was whol- 
ly indifferent about engaging you as a correspondent, 
something or other has hitherto satisfied my conscience ; 
further pleas now fail, aud I feel happy in the idea of 
addressing my dear Joseph, at his own home 5 a period 
which has no doubt been anticipated, in your youthful 
days, as an era of liberty not then enjoyed : now you are 
become your own master, your expectations of further 
comfort rest in futurity, the next step, will be that of 
becoming a family man 5 and so on. 

I trust our hopes will extend beyond this life, and 
then we shall find a solace in the frustration of those 
wishes, the accomplishment of which is always uncer- 
tain. 

Now, that the winter is shutting in upon us, I am 
willing to hope you will derive the comfort I promise 
myself, in the mutual communication of our thoughts : 
be our personal interviews ever so frequent, our corres- 
pondence may go on the same : and we may freely ex= 
press on paper those sentiments that perhaps would have 
remained concealed from each other, but for this pleas- 
ing medium of conversing. You know, my dear Joseph 5 
I am particularly fond of shutting myself in my closet 
on a winter's evening 5 and there spending some of the 
happiest -moments of my existence with my pen or my 
book : — this comfort winter affords me: and I shall find 
it a great delight in these silent hours intimately to re- 
ceive your thoughts on profitable subjects, and to ex- 
press mine in return. I have now to sabscribe to the 
agreement you drew up, and shall transcribe it for your 
use. 

c We do hereby agree to correspond with each other 
in mutual confidence, with tm 



MRS. COOPE&. 25 

benefit and recreation ; promising' mutually to reprove 
and admonish each other with Christian faithfulness, in 
the Spirit of meekness: — further, we agree to avoid all 
direct or indirect allusion to each other's attainments in 
our Christian calling, unless it he done with a view to 
exalt in each other a deeper sense of our obligations, and 
to point out the necessity of showing it forth by a more de- 
votcd life to the service of God ; reminding one another 
always, that where much is given, much is required." 

I could not have penned an agreement more to my 
own satisfaction : but this I have to remark ; I may not 
at all times feel sincerely disposed to write on religions 
subjects — to confine letters to this may prove a tempta- 
tion to express what you do not feel,— this would be 
hypocrisy. I may, as 1 am disposed, write my own re- 
flections on various moral points, or remark something in 
the course of my reading ; at the same time, I agree to 
every part of the above,~and would by no means exclude 
that subject which most concerns us. Tell me, with the 
candour which will always pervade our letters, what you 
think of this, and whether you fully coincide with me? 
I make a point after I have been reading, to run over the 
subject in my own mind, and endeavour to reflect upon 
such parts as appear particularly worthy of considera- 
tion, comparing the sentiments of the author with 
my own — by this method I hope to derive more good 
from reading a little, and digesting that little, than 3 
should do from reading thrice the quantity, without 
thinking of it afterwards. 1 know you adopt this plan : 
your reflections would therefore greatly please me, and 
perhaps be impressed more on your own mind by the 
communication. I believe, my dear Joseph, we are as 
closely united in affection as by relative ties : therefore, 
as you observe, let us be faithful to reprove each other, 
and constant in writing. If we can by this means pro 
mote each other's spiritual advancement, we shall have 
reason to consider the talent improved. Let us have 
an intimate knowledge of each other, and do everything 
to strengthen an affection that ought to subsist in fuM 
vigour between two so nearly allied. 

Believe me, my dear Brother, Your's truly, 

M. HANSON."' 

c 



26 DIARY OF 

[The following letter, which is a part of the correspond- 
ence with her brother already mentioned, contains 
many good sentiments ; and some which are not of or- 
dinary occurrence: it marks, at the same time, the pro- 
gress of religious conviction in her mind, and how seri- 
ously she was then in the pursuit of that, in which she 
afterwards found solid happiness.] 

Lower MaJlj Jan. 20, 1807. 
" My dear Joseph, 
I am convinced my letters have been generally very 
deficient in noticing the remarks of my correspondent ; 
the mode you suggest will prove much more colloquial 
as well as productive of materials : it had never occurred 
to me how much my letters had failed in this respect. 
Be as candid in noticing every thing else that requires 
an alteration^ whether it respects discourse or conduct, 
though I much fear that, as our opportunities of seeing 
each other are so rare, the intercourse necessary for 
reproof will but seldom occur ; this I regret, for my 
proud spirit would bear reproof administered with your 
wonted faithfulness and love. Oh ! it would bear it much 
better from you than from any one ; self-will and self- 
love so often obscure our better judgment, and thereby 
lead us into the mazes of error, that could the observing 
eye of a Christian friend be near, and just then remind 
us of the demands of Christianity upon our hearts, and 
the humility it inculcates and enforces 3 would not this 
check the progress of those moral vices upon our hearts ? 
I sometimes think it would. But, my dear Joseph, if the 
friend were not near, there is a consideration of far 
greater importance ; the eye of infinite purity ever be- 
holds us 1 were this consideration oftener present to our 
minds, what a check would it be to the arrogance and 
pride of the heart. For my own part I feel the difficul- 
ty so immensely great, to maintain in my mind that sense 
of religion in any degree which the Christian must feel 
so as to influence his thoughts, words, and actions, that 
that character seems a wonder in creatiou. To perse- 
vere to the end, considering the temptations from with- 
in and without, is a marvellous proof of the efficacy of di- 
vine grace,- No wonder so many turn back ; and yet 



MRS. COOPER. 27 

when we reflect on the immense importance of preparing 
for a never-ending state of being, how great the delusion 
seems, to think of any thing occupying and absorbing 
the thoughts of creatures on the very verge of perdition. 
It is consolatory to the mind, my dear Brother, amidst 
these reflections, that our attainment of eternal life does 
not depend on ourselves alone : That Grace, that has 
been implanted in the hearts of thousands now in glory, 
and had brought forth fruits to the praise of God, may 
yet be had of Him, ' whom to know is wisdom, whom to 
fear is rectitude, whom to love is happiness.' 

It is the hope of victory that animates soldiers in bat- 
tle ; they bear temporary privations and numerous hard- 
ships, in prospect of the glory accruing from conquest; 
and yet how short-lived is that compared with the 
crown of glory for which I trust you and I, my dear 
Brother, will fight manfully ; it is for an incorruptible 
crown, one which we shall wear for ever. 

I love retirement, and would scrupulously avoid ac- 
quaintance with the world ; for to keep in tolerable hu- 
mour with it, it is necessary to know but little of it, and 
to think of the most virtuous of your acquaintance ; for 
when one surveys the characters of people in general, 
and observes the dissimulation pervading most of them, 
it is difficult to preserve that spirit of benevolence that 
ought never to be damped. You tell me you have pur- 
chased freedom from control and restraint at the price 
of additional cares and anxieties. In reviewing the past, 
its evils usually diminish in our apprehensions, while we 
feel the present in their full force. You will find the 
habitual effects of your employing leisure time in the 
pursuit and knowledge of Christian virtues. How de- 
sirable to feel the inclination ! press forward, my dear 
Brother, and shine like a candle in a dark place; you 
are in a new state of trial, sufficient grace for every day 
is promised you ; only sincerely ask, and you will sure- 
ly receive. 

There is something truly delightful in that freedom 
true love ever inspires, in the communication of one's 
inmost thoughts : we were formed social beings, and I 
think the communion of saints, as expressed in tho 



28 DIARY OF 

Creed, must be a mean of accelerating 1 and enlivening 
the affections, and inspiring* love and zeal to the Su- 
preme Being. I can freely think aloud to you, my dear 
Joseph, for I greatly hope our correspondence will prove 
a mean of my advancing in that life divine after which 
I sometimes pant. 

I hope it will be convenient to you to write soon: 
never apologize for any but short letters 5 none but such 
fatigue me. 

Believe me 

Your most affectionate Sister, 

MARY HANSON. " 



[Early in the year 1809, Miss Hanson began to attend 
the preaching among the Methodists. The first preach- 
ers she heard were Dr. Coke, and Dr. Clarke. From 
this period religion became the one great business of 
her life, and she, in a more especial manner was enga- 
ged in doing good to her fellow-creatures ; in visiting 
and relieving the poor aud distressed, whom she endea- 
voured to instruct by reading the Scriptures to them, 
praying with and speaking to them of spiritual things, 
and of the eternal world. But her own diary is her 
most faithful biographer; and by it the reader will per- 
ceive that she now began to take a very different view 
of religion to what she had ever done before. She con- 
sidered it no longer as a system of opinions and moral 
practice merely, but as a work in the heart, or in other 
words, the Life of God in the soul of man ; which, 
when once introduced, would necessarily manifest itself 
in a full conformity to his will and word, in all her pas- 
sions, tempers, affections, and conduct. On this impor- 
tant subject she thus speaks:]— 

July '2, 1S09. 
"For the last two months my attention and reading 
has been much confined to theology : two sermons, one 
by Dr. Adam Clarke, and the other by Dr. Coke, preach- 
ed at the Methodist chapel here, roused my inquiry as to 
the peculiar sentiments of that people. 



MRS. COOPER. 29 

Those sermons have made a deep impression on my 
mind ; the first showed me, in a manner I was not aware 
of, the connexion of reason and religion, how far they 
were in union with each other, where the one left us, the 
other took ns up, and introduced us to the immortality 
of glory ; the other sermon gave a view of religion in 
the soul, of the inhabitation of the Spirit of God 5 \ was 
roused \ there was a something in their mode of explain- 
ing Scripture, of enforcing the immense importance of 
religion, of proving the vanity of sublunary things, and 
the sublime tendency of religion in exalting the soul, and 
making it aspire after a likeness to God, that was new to 
me — I was excited to more exertion ; and from read? 
ing the life of the Rev. Mr. Fletcher, one of the Wes- 
leyans' bright ornaments \ I was introduced to a charac- 
ter that filled my soul with reverence, delight, and an 
aspiration after that grace which made him what he was. 
Some of his works were lent to me, and all I read con- 
firmed me in an opinion of the soundness of their scrip- 
tural views. I never embraced the doctrines of Calvin, 
but when I viewed the scurrility, the intemperance in con- 
troversy, of some who are called by his name, and com- 
pared all this with the Christian meekness of Wesley, 
and his amiable advocate Fletcher, I was convinced of 
the goodness of the cause. I saw also that their doc- 
trines, while they ensured an entire reliance on Christ 
for justification, demanded an evidence of that by as- 
piring after holiness of heart and life ; and maintained 
that it is by the fruits of faith, that faith will be judged 
of at the day of judgment. 

The general non-conformity of that sect to the world, 
their zeal in the promotion of vital, practical godliness, 
as far as I can judge, both from their principles and prac- 
tice, proclaim them the followers of the Lamb. I rejoice 

in their introduction to H , and the prosperity 

which apparently attends their labours. On the Mon- 
day evening I go and hear the same truths applied to the 
hearts and understandings of all present; I hear them, 
1 hope, with increasing profit. I have too long rested in 
an admiration of sermons as compositions. Lured by 
imagination and eloquence, I have been charmed \ but, 
alas ! my heart has remained careless, and too much dis- 
C 2 



30 DIARY OF 

posed to regard religion as a general thing, without ap- 
plying* it to my own heart : may I henceforward hear as 
for eternity ! O ! how much is at stake ; and why do I 
live, if the salvation of my soul be neglected ? When 
this frail tabernacle of clay shall be dissolved, which it 
soon must be, the soul will have burst its fetters, and 
know, an existence of endless wo or happiness. My 
lot in life is then but of little consequence, for the stage 
is bid short on which we act." 



[Being about to accompany the family on a visit to 
Margate , she wrote as follows :] — 

Augmt 13, 1809. 

" For a while then I am about to leave thee, my dear 
peaceful H— — > the delights of calm reflection and so- 
litude, which, through the goodness of my Creator, I 
have experienced in this my own room, make me almost 
disposed to think happiness local. I go, and shall wit- 
ness the whirl of fashion, and the various expedients 
fallen man devises for Slling up that vacuum, that search 
after comfort, to which every breast is a prey. I have 
experienced the vanity and unsatisfying nature of its 
enjoyments. The pearl of great price is the jewel 
I pant to obtain, to have an evidence within my own 
soul, that the spirit which by nature is depraved, is 
renewed by grace 3 that my judgment and affections are 
purified from sin, and that the paramount desire of my 
heart is to live to the glory of my God. Well then, 
what is change of place to me ? I cannot go where my 
God is not : he pervades every place : His Spirit is near 
to those that seek him ; and the soul that has felt and 
enjoyed sweet commuuion with him cannot be absorbed 
and satisfied by the vain and trifling pleasures this 
world offers. 

As the means of grace are very various at Margate, 
I trust I shall be able, in simplicity of heart, to obtain 
much good from them. O that the critical spirit which 
has so long haunted me, and robbed me of the benefit 
the humble follower enjoys, may leave me. I go not to 



MRS. COOPER. 31 

hear fine compositions, but to hear the word of God 
faithfully explained ; and to prove my own experience 
by the unerring standard of Scripture. I hope to enjoy 
the delights of meditation and reading-, by the seashore j 
and, ere the bustle of the day approaches, to rise early 
and seek God in his works, and ponder over his ways.. 
O that I could live more under the impression of the 
eternal world that awaits me, the judgment that will 
come, when every man will be judged according to his 
works. Death will be decisive to my soul, and ' dangers 
stand thick through all the ground to push us to the 
tomb.' O my soul, be not satisfied till thou hast evidence 
of acceptance with God ; till thy worldly and corrupt 
affections are renewed; till thou have resigned thyself 
entirely to God, and every wish and desire be subservi- 
ent to him ! 

To shine as a light in the world, this is the Christian's 
object; to do good to his fellow-creatures, to strive by 
every mean to do good to their souls, to visit the sick, 
and comfort those who are cast down. God can give 
strength to the weak, and he does it that his power may 
be made manifest. One instance of his goodness in. 
blessing feeble means, I would acknowledge in the hap- 
py death of a dear child who went to the Sunday school ; 
those hymns which I took so much delight in teaching 
her, consoled her amidst pain and death. I thank God, 
and would receive this as an encouragement to future 
and more unwearied exertion I go, not knowing I shall 
ever return ; but I trust I can lay my hand on my heart, 
and say, My trust and dependence for this life and eter- 
nal salvation, is on Christ, who died to redeem a fallen 
world ; and who is near to all who call upon him. 

O, for faith to trust in that word which can introduce 
heaven into the soul, even in the tumultuous ocean of 
life! 

Margate, August 16, 1809. 

After a most delightful passage of nine hours and a 
half, arrived safe at Margate \ every thing, both health 
and company, conspired to render it agreeable. 

The appearance of the town pleases me much, and I 
already anticipate much pleasure, more particularly as 



32 DIARY OF 



iave 



there are such various means of grace. I hope to hav 
ray mind kept free for the reception of divine truth, that 
the gaiety I shall witness, may not draw my heart aside 3 
and induce me once again to cull the flowers of pleasure; 
which, by the fascination of their appearance, lure the 
unwary. 

The noble ocean, on which the grandeur of the Deity 
is marked in such large characters, will be the object I 
shall most delight to contemplate ; to say, 6 My Father 
made it all.' O the exquisite sensation arising from such 
an application! 

August 17, 1809. 

Had a most delightful ride to Ramsgate, through Kings- 
gate and JBroadstairs ; with the first of these places I am 
charmed; there is great elegance in the appearance of 
the town from the pier ; and as to that beautiful har- 
bour, it delights and astonishes me more than any human 
construction I have ever seen : the sea from thence is a 
most magnificent spectacle. The country through which 
we rode is highly cultivated, and the bounties of har- 
vest are just ready to be poured into the lap of ungrate- 
ful man ; how beneficent is the Creator to the whole hu- 
man race ! how seldom is his hand acknowledged ; He 
who should be the first in every man's thoughts ! Boun- 
tiful Creator, how art thou slighted, and thy benevolence 
insulted by its abuse ! Heard a very good preacher at 
Lady Huntingdon's chapel ; it was well attended. For 
nearly two hours I enjoyed the lightning this evening ; 
I become more and more enchanted with the terrible and 
sublime in nature. To gaze upon the ethereal flash as it 
bursts from the bosom of the dark thunder cloud, has 
an effect upon my mind with which I would not part for 
the finest show of art. It was not in the direction of the 
sea, or my admiration would have been two-fold : whence 
this delight, but from the power such spectacles have of 
raising my soul to the Supreme Being ; of making me 
aspire after an union with him who is thus terrible in 
nature; it excites me to anticipate that day when the 
lightnings of his wrath shall strike the devoted heads of 
those who have neglected him; when every element will 
do its part to excite the general conflagration ; when an 
^aterestia the Saviour will secure me an admission into 



MRS. COOPER. 33 

the paradise of God. For such a crown of glory 3 O why 
should I loiter, why should the flintiness of the path make 
me look aside for the broad road of pleasure, in which 
thousands smoothly walk to the edge of tjie precipice 3 
and unless arrested by the power of God, plunge head- 
long into eternal darkness ! 

August 18. 

Rose this morning at six o'clock, walked as far as 
Newgate on the Cliff 3 thence we descended to the sands, 
I particularly admire the cliffs about this place 3 they 
are beautifully bleached and battered by the waves. 
A most profound stillness reigned 3 not even the murmur 
of the sea broke the silence 3 nothing, save the fluttering 
of a little bird, on whose solitude I had intruded 5 it is 
in such a silence the soul delights to expand ; and, as it 
were, burst the fetters which confine it, when in com- 
merce with the world. With mingled delight and reve- 
rence I view our sea-girt shore, and those beauteous cliffs 
which have so long defied the power and malice of our 
enemies. I know not why : perhaps T have now a great- 
er power of enjoyment 3 but they appear to me more 
charming than any thing I have seen. 

This evening walked halfway to Kingsgate5 it was 
very retired, which consequently added to my enjoy- 
ment : there is one eminence which commands a very 
lovely view of Margate and North-Down. The clearness 
and serenity of the evening conspired to heighten the 
beauty of the scene ; added to which, the corn in sheaves, 
and the thankfulness with which my heart dilated in 
viewing the treasures of Providence, rendered the whole 
increasingly delightful. O that men would praise the 
Lord for his goodness! ' Ye harvests, wave to him.' 

The accounts I had were so unfavourable, I feel as- 
tonished at the beauties of Margate : the country which 
1 have seen is as rich and lovely as I ever saw ; perhaps, 
indeed, few have hearts so susceptible of the beauties of 
nature. c Not a cloud imbibes the setting sun's efful- 
gence not a strain from all the tenants of the warbling 
shade ascends, frcm which my bosom cannot partake 
fresh pleasure unreproved.' From this honeyed store, 
ten thousand enjoyments have hovered over my path, 



34 DIARY OF 

and to my capability of .deriving reflections from the ob^ 
jecis which surround me, I am indebted for a local re- 
pository of comfort. I thank God that retirement and 
exemption from gaiety, have produced this good. 

On our return, about eight o'clock, we must needs peep 
at the gay Babel, and feel the stir; the town was all 
light and bustle; the libraries were crammed full with 
gay tlutterers, dressed as for an assembly ; the rooms 
elegantly lighted, and all, all vanity ; ' a world without 
iouh.' My soul, come not thou into their secret, lest I 
should practically forget that I have a soul ; and an im- 
mortal one ; to save which, I must watch and strive 
against temptation ; scenes of vanity and dissipation 
must be avoided; there is enough within to draw thee 
from God : O then avoid outward temptations ; go not 
under pretence of moralizing on its vanity : the experi- 
ment is dangerous. — God and mammon can never be 
reconciled. 

August 19, 1809. 

After a pleasant walk of two hours, returned home 
quite refreshed and comfortable. On entering the room 
I found my dear mother bathed in tears, with a letter 
before her, containing an account of brother William's 
sudden attack of a most violent fever; the means pre- 
scribed by Mr. Pearson prove it to be highly putrid ; he 
was considered when B • — wrote, rather out of dan- 
ger ; the only alleviation we could have under such cir- 
cumstances. O my God ! if my dear brother still live, 
grant that this sickness may not be unto death, but for 
his soul's health ! Vigorous as his health has been, yet 
the shafts of death are as likely to wound him as the more 
sickly. 

All these circumstances should prove as incentives to 
my diligence in the divine life. Nothing* can secure me 
from the sudden and unwarned approach of death ; he, 
with his fatal scythe, may mow down (one after another) 
every dear earthly comfort I possess. God alone is un- 
changeable, and the source of comfort ; he pours 
balm into the wounded spirit; and bids it seek its trea- 
sures in those blessed regions ? where bliss is complete 
and inexhaustible. 



MRS. COOFER. 35 

August 23, 1809. 

Through the goodness of God, my dear brother 
William is better. I have enjoyed some sweet seasons 
-of abstraction from the world on Sunday, and since. 
What is my object as a Christian ? It is to increase in 
faith, and in conformity to the image of God ; to have 
that stamped on my soul, and to feel the presence of 
God diffuse itself through my heart and my judgment. 
Then I am not of the world ; my views$ pleasures, and 
pursuits must be different ; they are only dead fish that 
float down the stream, I must swim against it. If the 
world hate you, marvel not ; they laugh aud flutter for 
a day, and perish. The Christian strives and fights for 
a day, and his toil and labour are ended 5 everlasting* 
rest and perfect peace are his reward for ever. O glo- 
rious prospect ! 

That glorious Being who created this lower world, who 
by his word formed all those beauteous scenes in creation 5 
which now ravish my eyes, made all these for man ! what 
then will the visions of eternal bliss be for the redeemed ? 
when every faculty of the soul will be in full vigour and 
purity, when God will be all in all. How many have I 
read of in history who have waded through scenes of 
blood, who have sacrificed every present pleasure and 
enjoyment^ and thought nothing too much, while a hope? 
or chance remained of having an earthly crown placed 
on their heads ; and this with a probability of very soon 
falling a sacrifice to their own ambition. 

Christian, be ashamed of thy supineness; be not sa- 
tisfied with the husks of this world, while there is heaven- 
ly manna within thy reach : they sought a corruptible 
crown; thou hast offered to thee an incorruptible one. 
Be assured, however hard the struggle against sin, yet 
having attained the conquest, so peaceful a serenity shall 
be diffused through thy soul, as shall repay all the toil 
and labour. A Christian must fight the good fight of faith. 

Heard this evening a most animating sermon from Mr. 
Liefchild, ' For we shall see him as he is. ? His de- 
scriptions were so lively, that I almost thought he had had 
a peep at the glories of the eternal world. O vain transi- 
tory world, what are thy pleasures? fleeting as a shadow. 

I pant for everlasting bliss, for a state of happiness 
frhfch neither knows interruption nor end, 



36 DIARY OF 

August 28, 1809. 

I exceedingly enjoyed the services of yesterday j it 
was a sabbath of delight to my soul ; I was three times at 
the Methodist chapel, where I heard a young- man of pro- 
mising- talents, appointed by the Conference, for the en- 
suing year. In the morning* his sermon was on prayer; 
* The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man avail- 
eth much :' he showed its advantages in prosperity ; how 
the blessings of Providence were doubly enjoyed by a 
sense of the goodness of the Benefactor*} the mind kept 
humble, and from vaunting itself against those who are 
in a lower situation, from a grateful acknowledgment to 
the Divine Being; that it is from his hand alone such 
blessings are bestowed : and that temporal superiority is 
alone from him who dispenses his gifts. I note this par- 
ticularly, because prosperity appears to me a great trial 
to the Christian ; when surrounded by present good, in 
possession of health, wealth, and friends, O how prone to 
say, ; Soul, take thine ease;' while sailing on a ^smooth 
sea, the anticipation of the harbour is not half so delight- 
ful as when tossed on the angry billows.; then the sight 
of port, how does it animate and refresh ; and yet, as 
good Mr. Day says, what base ingratitude is it, to make 
those very blessings our Creator bestows upon us, the 
means of forgetting him ; and by an abuse of the good 
things of this life to destroy our souls. 

I am now in possession of health and every temporal 
blessing; ought I not particularly to devote myself to 
that God who has made me a recipient of such vari- 
ous and unmerited blessings? The only return, the 
only tribute of gratitude I can render to thee, thou God 
of love, is, to give up my heart, all I have and am, to 
thy service: to answer the great end of my existence, 
by a continual acknowledgment of that goodness which 
brought me into being and sustains it ; but above all, 
for a hope of eternal life through the great atoning Sa- 
crifice. His precious death and resurrection, is the life 
of all my hopes, all my desires, to repose in the arms of 
his mercy and to be with him for ever. <> unspeakable 
Jove ! While I can hear with so much advantage as I 
did yesterday, I shall go to the Methodist chapel; there 
is a plainness and simplicity in the appearance of the 



,mU3. cooper. 37 

chapel and people, which suit my mind better than 
Zion chapel. Besides, there is a som ?ihiog in their mode 
of preaching which I always fiad ivofitable ; there is a, 
view of eternity in their addre & £j the Deity, which 
rouses and fixes ray attention. £ uo most entirely agree 
with the sentiments of that people. John Wesley's opi- 
nions accord with those I long since formed from reading 
the Bible. I seem to catch the flame, the heavenly 
flame which barns among them; their nonconformity to 
the world, and their gradual assimilation to the divine 
nature, the happy assurance so many among them have. 
O it is religion in its power 3 in its peaceful and holy 
effects. 

In the afternoon of yesterday was the prayer- meet* 
ing. In the evening the same young man displayed 
considerable ability in discoursing from 1 Cor. i. *23 
6 We preach Christ crucified.' His sermon contained a 
summary of those doctrines he intended to deliver among 
that people ; most ably he defended the divinity of our 
Lord. I enjoyed uncommon peace and liveliness o£ 
mind yesterday ; prayer instead of a weariness, was si 
delight to me. 

O Christianity, thou wast ushered into the world, as 
* Peace and good will to man ;' and so thou art and ever 5 
wilt be to those who receive thy glorious truths in meek- 
ness, with a practical desire of conforming the soul to the: 
divine image. Those who advance in grace will ad~ 
vauce in happiness ; the more this world is subdued, the 
brighter, the more glorious, will be the anticipation of 
that state which God has appointed as the resting~plac£ 
for all his people^ 

September 1,1809. 

On Monday had a very delightful ride to Minster; ii 
is surrounded by many trees, and is altogether pictu- 
resque and beautiful. 

The church is a very ancient structure ; and the* 
church-yard, which is very large, contains but few" 
graves. How different to the crowded cemeteries about 
London ! I like to visit every repository of the dead 
whore 1 go; no mean surely should be neglected SO 
familiarize that solemn certain event, which will 4o&* 

D 



38 DIARY OP 

arrive. From an eminence about a mile from Minster^ 
I had a view of the whole island of Thanet ; the sea 
girds a great part of it 5 at one point is seen the Downs 3 
in which the vessels look like a forest ; to the right of 
that is a very fine cultivated land view 5 it reminded me 
much of Portsdown. 

On our return we rode through Birchington : we visit- 
ed its church-yard, a favourite place of my brother 
Joseph's. I saw three beautiful epitaphs which I intend 
to go purposely to copy. Here is a very fine view of the 
Reculvers. My mind was just in a frame to enjoy the 
beauties of nature, and to adopt the language of Cowper, 
' My Father made them all ;' my eyes were full of tears 
when I thought of this blessed Relation. 

On Tuesday evening we rode through St. Peter's to 
Broadstairs; then to part of the Ramsgate road, where 
we had a very distinct view of the coast of France, 
Pegwell bay, and the ships in its harbour. The sun set 
in cloudless splendour just behind St. Peter's church. 
We returned through Kingsgate, having passed the 
Fore-land lighthouse, just then lighted up. It is a love- 
ly village 3 its beauty was much heightened by the last 
faint gleam of the setting sun upon its various ruins. I 
find much to interest me in this island. 

Wednesday morning we walked on the sands, visited 
some of the caverns ; scenes rude and wild 5 we much 
enjoyed it ; sitting at the foot of one of the cliffs, we 
listened to the murmuring of the flowing tide. 

Such scenes are favourable to abstraction of mind. 
How is the soul to be pitied, which in such scenes doe& 
not recognize the finger of God! which does not seek a 
friend in him who has such boundless power. The 38th 
chapter of Job, how appropriate to such scenes. 

In the evening brother B n and L walked on the 

fort between ten and eleven. The lightning had just 
ceased ; but the clouds, full of electricity, hung over 
the deep, most sublimely. Over our heads the stars 
were shining in unclouded lustre. In the eastern he* 
misphere was the moon reposing on clouds of the 
darkest hue, whose summits were tipped with glow- 
ing light 5 again she awoke from her sleep, and shed 



MRS. COOPER. 0^ 

Iier trembling beams on the boundless ocean. Sucb 
scenes delight and ravish my eyes above all this 
world affords ; they raise my thoughts to hira, who by a 
word brought all this immensity into existence. * Lord, 
what is man V How vain are all the pomps of this our 
world. L would soar to those regions where my soul 
will be satisfied by a view of him who, though Infinite^ 
views with delight the spirit who seeks his favour. 

Sept. 8, 1809. 

There is certainly more real pleasure and solid satis- 
faction in the fulfilment of domestic plans of usefulness, 
than are to be found in the varieties of a new place and 
new scenes : these soon cease to charm ; and the want 
of full occupation and means of being actively useful, 
press on my mind. I do not lie down at night with 
the pleasing reflection that I have imparted comfort to 
the aged by being eyes to them, and reading to them a 
portion of that word which is so much their support ; 
nor can I reflect on having endeavoured to speak a word 
for religion to the careless poor, &c. I seem almost to 
live in vain, and long for the return of that solid satisfac- 
tion which an endeavour at usefulness inspires. 

I have spent two evenings at the bathing-rooms, very 
pleasantly. The gallery which overlooks the sea is 
delightful. On one evening I saw the phosphoric illu- 
mination of the waves. I have occasionally met with 
two very sensible women there ; one an officer's widow, 
young and lively; the other appears about thirty, single 
and an invalid : with the latter I had a good deal of 
serious conversation ; she seems generally impressed 
with the importance of religion ; and although not ab- 
stracted from the gaieties of life, has but little relish for 
them. Her judgment seems more powerful than her 
resolution. I do indeed feel for such characters, who, 
whilst halting betwixt two opinions, find enjoyment in 
neither ; they feel the aching void within : the world 
denies them comfort; Heaven offers it, but they refuse. 

SeptAS, 1809. 
Walked to North Down, my favourite village ; it unites 
the beauties of landscape and sea-views, and contains 
many very pretty farm-houses. 



40 DIARY G* 

From thence we crossed the fields to the IVafpote 
wreck ; walked for some distance on the cliff, and thei* 
descended to the sands, which we found remarkably 
jirm. The tide was fast coming in : the azure skv re 
fleeted a most lovely peacock hue on the sea. The 
flocks of ocean were abroad; we ran towards them, and 
kissed them with our feet. 

The cliffs in that part are strikingly wild; and the 
deep solitude which there reigned among" the caverns^ 
added to the beauty of the marine productions, produced 
in us almost an ecstacy. In such scenes I am an enthu- 
siast, and hardly know what other circumstances could 
produce equal rapture. 

The solemn silence which pervaded those scenes* 
rud and wild, very much added to the interest they ex- 
cited in my mind, 

Sept. 16, 1809. 

This day another year is added to my mortal exist- 
ence Has the past year added any improvement to 
the preceding 1 ones? It demands self-recollection. How 
large the catalogue of mercies ; of divine favours ! — » 
Where shall I begin to speak of goodness so bound- 
less ? No chasm made among my earthly friends ; my 
dear parents still spared; yet in possession of earthly 
abundance: still in the enjoyment of health, reason, and 
all other faculties. My heart alone is the offering 1 can 
make to God for so many favours. I hope I do record 
it with humble gratitude, that, for the last six months, 
my affections have been more given to God and religion 
than the preceding six months ; that I have been more 
alive to the requirements of Christianity upon my heart : 
I have found more delight in devotion, and greater de- 
sires after conformity to the Divine Image; in short, 
religion has appeared to me the one thing needful ; and 
the attainment of eternal glory the grand end of my 
existence. 

I feel daily more and more the need of watchfulness, 
and the influence of the Spirit to keep alive my qrood 
desires and resolutions; for I know my heart is deceit- 
ful and the world alluring. — Experience has shewn me s 
tfcgt qne great cause of religious declension is a care^ 



MRS. COOPER. 41 

lessness in devotion, and neglect of reading the Scrip- 
tures j hence I would have set seasons for both, and 
conscientiously observe them : also attend punctually, 
and as frequently as circumstances will admit, preaching 
in the week evenings ; I have found the benefit of this. 
The worldly are very eager in the pursuit of their plea- 
sures ; pleasures which produce satiety — shall I then, 
who am a probationer for heavenly pleasures, be slow in 
seeking them — and shall I suffer every little trifle to rob 
me of them ? O, forbid it! It is not an earthly sha- 
dow, but an eternal substance I seek after. It demands 
my constant attention, my most fervent devotions. 

Let not the universal carelessness which prevails about 
unseen things, deter me. Our Lord foretold this: he 
says, the gate is strait, and but few enter it ; but he 
also forewarns me of that place where the worm never 
dies. 

I do record it, on this anniversary of my birth, that I 
desire, more devotedly than I ever have done to give 
myself up, all C have and am, to my God ; to press for- 
ward in the divine life, and to aim at that perfection 
which is the glory and happiness of the saints. These 
are my birth-day hopes and resolutions ; and my hand- 
writing will witness against me if I swerve from these 
paths of religion and peace. 

I hope I have gained something from observation the 
past year. 1 live but to little purpose if experience do 
not teach me; and if the commission of error in one in- 
stance do not deter me from the same, when a similar 
occasion offers. 

I made some progress in history last winter: the en- 
suing one, I purpose reading either Hume's or Rapin's 
History of England: and yet, alas ! how much time is 
taken up with trifles : for instance, I sit down to work, I 
loiter ; i perhaps read in the interim, or look off: I wish 
to correct this, and when I return home to have more 
entire order in my pursuits ; to husband time, as that for 
which I must give account. — May the succeeding year, 
if I live to complete it, find me more decidedly devoted 
to God ; less earthly-minded, and abounding more in 
good works. Mark this, religion is a progressive work, 
no standing still 5 either on the advance or on the decline 

D 2 



4-2 DIARY OF 

—if it dwells in the soul, it will transform the nature, 
subdue evil, and be gradually assimilating it to the Di- 
vine Image, 

I have received a letter from my dear Mary Ann,* 
to-day j my friendship for her glows with undiminished 
ardour. I thank God for the gift of such a friend. I 
hope we shall more and more stimulate and stir up each 
other to the pursuit of objects which are divine ; and to 
resign our all entirely to our heavenly Father, who 
careth for those who seek his face. 

Sept. 17, 1809. 

T have heard three very excellent discourses from the 
venerable Mr. Bull, in consequence of a sudden illness 
of Mr. Lake ; he officiated at Zion Chapel. His sermon 
from Prov. ix. 5. had a reference to the Lord's Supper, 
which he afterwards administered in his own way. In the 
afternoon he preached from 1 Cor. i. 30. In the evening 
he w&s induced to choose for his text, Psalm xxiii.4. in 
consequence of the death of a Mr. Atkinson, who the last 
Sunday was a hearer in that Chapel. 

To hear such a Christian, who is on the verge of glory ? 
on the tip-toe of heavenly expectation : to hear him dis- 
course on death, oh ! it is soothing and encouraging" 
to the mind. He has given me a new view of the text ; 
by the metaphor of a shadow how much consolation is. 
implied! < As the Hebrew poets often availed themselves 
*>f objects in nature to illustrate their meaning, so he sup- 
posed that the figure, The shadow of death, was borrow- 
ed from a very deep and dark valley, through which the 
brook Cedron passed. Through this valley our dear Sa- 
viour passed, in going to the garden of Gethsemane. The 
dark valley then is not death, bat the shadow of it. The 
believer does not die at all : it is but the shadow of death. 
Conceive death in its most tremendous form; yet, being 
a shadow, there is no real substantial reason for you to 
fear it : you walk through it, do not stand in it; and the 
Shepherd is at the end of the valley to receive you. The 
iod signifies a crook, by which a shepherd may bring back 

; * Miss W a j-ious young lady, one of fcer mo?,t intimate acquaint^ 



MRS. COOPER. 43 

a wandering sheep : it also implies afflictions and trials, 
They are generally attendant on death. By the staff is 
meant, that power by which God supports and comforts 
his people : by the rod of affliction, and the staff of com- 
fort, they safely pass through the valley, and reach the 
place of eternal repose.' I have imperfectly noted a few 
of the remarks which struck me. 

Oct. 2, 1809. 

I enjoyed my walk very much before breakfast ; the 
weather mild and peaceful ; quite a contrast to what it 
has been for the last fortnight. Walked on my favourite 
Kingsgate road, as far as the Mill-hill ; thence crossed 
the fields to Newgate, which I descended, and sat at 
the foot of the cliff for some time ; not a sound to break 
the deep repose ; the state of my mind accorded with it, 
I found much delight in that part of Baxter's Saints' Rest, 
in which he enforces consideration as a chief help to 
heavenly contemplation.. If the weather permit, I will 
repeat my early visits to that sacred spot : the time for 
my leaving them is near at hand. 

This evening there was a watch-night at the Metho- 
dist chapel : the first time of my ever being at one. It 
began at seven, and ended at half- past nine. It was a 
very solemn service. Mr. Cusworth preached, Mr. 
Williams delivered an exhortation, and several of the 
society engaged in prayer. The brevity and uncertainty 
of life were chiefly dwelt upon, and the importance of 
preparing for our latter end : the whole was conducted 
in a very serious and impressive manner, 

Oct 5, 1809. 
Almost the whole of yesterday morning, from half- 
past six, I was strolling by the sea-side, among cliffs 
and sands. I shall soon leave them, and that with much 
regret. My recollections of the two months I have spent 
here, must ever be pleasiug to me 5 and my heart now 
exults with praise to God that so much of my enjoyment 
has been derived from love to him and his works. When- 
ever I have sought retirement I have found it : hence 
the bustle and gaiety of the place have not offended me. 
I have chiefly attended at the Wesleyau chapel ; and have 



44< DIARY OP 

been much pleased, and I hope profited by the preach- 
ing of Mr. Williams. He manifests great theological 
knowledge; and his preaching is quite of an experiment- 
al cast. I do become increasingly attached to the Wesley- 
ans : their preaching appears to me to combine more of 
the whole gospel than I have before heard : there is an 
earnestness in their addresses which tends to keep alive 
the flame of divine love in my heart, to give me fervour 
in prayer, and enlighten my understanding of the Scrip- 
tures. 

This morning we took a delightful walk with Joseph 
to a very rustic village called Nash; surrounded by a 
great many trees, in the midst of which we discovered 
a mud-wall thatched cottage, the most rude of its kind I 
ever beheld ; every thing around it completed the pic- 
ture. I crept through the wicket gate, and was de- 
termined to see the inside; where 1 found a good woman, 
who gave me a welcome peep at her little cot, in which 
every thing was very comfortable. She had lived there 
thirty years, and has eight children now grown up. 

This evening I took a farewell evening walk in Hub- 
bard's gallery ; a lovely star-light night: the sea rolled 
in sublimely ; rather phosphoric. I had a very pleasing- 
conversation with brother Joseph : we compared our oc- 
casional feelings of rapture in contemplating the works of 
God ; surely of all earthly enjoyments the most sublime, 
pure, and refined. Nature is an exhaustless store of en- 
tertainment. 

Oct. 6, 1809. 
Arose at dawn this morning to see Joseph off for Lon- 
don. The morning-star shone with splendour; while 

Aurora, daughter of the dawn, 

With rosy lustre purpled o'er the lawn. 

The sun had just unbarred the portals of the East, when 
1 hasted forth to enjoy his splendour. Agreeably to my 
intention yesterday, I visited the favourite field of my 
dear brother Joseph : it was so lovely that I lingered for 
awhile, contemplating the enchanting effects of a morn- 
ing sun laying his golden beams on woods, fields, and 
streams. 



MRS. COOPER. 45 

Vti . what do the slothful lose. I had ray second collec- 
tion of poetry, in which J found parts highly adapted to 
enhance my enjoyment of the scene ; some of the Psalms 
I read with peculiar delight ; particularly those three 
which begin i The Lord reigneth.' — I then proceeded to 
Dandelion ; the gardens are pretty, and refreshing to the 
sight. The larks, as I walked, sang their morning song 
sweetly : every thing was so lovely, that, though the dis- 
tance was great, I found no fatigue : my heart was, in- 
deed, uplifted to nature's God, from whom I derived 
springs of comfort and exultation. O blessed seasons ! in 
which 1 have wandered forth, alone, and found my soli- 
tude more sweet, more animating than could be produ- 
ced by all the artificial means the world offers. 

I walked again from eleven to two, and explored near- 
ly the whole of North-Down : it is remarkably shady 5 
and the hedges in the lanes particularly luxuriant : the 
cottages and farm-houses are strikingly picturesque. As 
I walked, I read a great part of the second volume of Mrs. 
West's Letters; in which, as in the first, she displays 
great acuteness of observation, and an uncommon sense 
of moral propriety. As to religion, she defends our es- 
tablishment in all its parts ; and is, indeed, quite its eu- 
logist , seceding from it seems, indeed, a high crime and 
misdemeanour. But there appears to me a grand defi- 
ciency in her system 5 while advocating a rational reli- 
gion, she puts aside that vital experimental piety which 
is so manifestly insisted on in the New Testament ; and 
the fanaticism of a few misguided zealots has induced her 
to conclude all religious feeling to be enthusiasm. In 
this part she is very exceptionable, as also in her endea- 
vour to unite the world and religion, which I must ever 
think incompatible. Notwithstanding this, she gives proof 
of having thought and read much on Christianity 5 and 
some very good remarks are the result. 

I bade a long farewell to those sweet scenes on which 
I have often gazed with rapture. 

Oct 10. 

We left Margate on the 7th, and reached Canterbury 
in the afternoon, where we met with a very welcome 
reception from our kind friends Mr. and Mrs G . 

The country about Canterbury is mor-- beautifully 
picturesque than any I have ever before seen. Before 



46 DIARY OF 

breakfast I went to see the Dane John, a mound of earth 
said to have been thrown up by the Danes in one night : 
— it has a circular walk to the top, which commands a 
fine view of the city and country; near it are the ruins 
of an old castle : the fortifications are in this part in good 
preservation. The ruins of St. Augustine's monastery 
are a very fine object. After breakfast, took a country 
walk ; saw St. Martin's Church, the oldest in England ; 
remarkable only for its autiquity and situation. It was 
well i saw Margate first; tile country here is so much 
superior, that the comparison would not have been fa- 
vourable ; yet I shall ever think of Margate, as having 
there enjoyed such heart-felt pleasure in her less lovely 
walks. 

Oct. 11, 1809. 
I attended Cathedral service, and afterwards walked 
through the building. The antiquity of this church, its 
renown in history, excited in my mind a peculiar inte- 
rest. Its exterior- is very grand. As it was erected in 
the darkest ages of popery, it contains many relics of its 
thraldom. A hundred thousand pilgrims, from all parts 
of the world, in one year, paid their devotions at the 
shrine of Thomas & Becket ! The stone steps they as- 
cended, quite worn into a curve, appear to authenticate 
this. An altar was erected near the tomb of Edward the 
Black Prince, before which, mass, morning and evening, 
was offered up for the peace of his soul ! The step on 
which these devotees knelt is also worn into hollows. I 
saw a confessional also : my heart rose with thankfulness 
to that God who has caused those days of darkness to 
cease. — There were two or three pieces of sculpture which 
excited my admiration more than any I ever before saw: 
one of Dean Wootton, in which he is represented as 
kneeling before an altar of the most beautiful stone-work : 
his posture is life, and the countenance is expressive to a 
wonderful degree, particularly the ears. Another, of the 
founder of Oxford University : there were two representa- 
tions of him; one of his appearance when in full health, 
stout and handsome ; below it, in the same posture, you see 
him as he was when he died, a mere skeleton, exquisite- 
ly executed. Above are twelve images of the apostles, 



MRS. COOPER. 47 

and one of the same size representing Death : on the cor- 
responding side is a figure of Time with his scythe. 
To discover all the beauties of this place would require 
several hours' inspection. The chair on which the kings 
of Kent were crowned is there ; and is said to be the great- 
est piece of antiquity in England : on it the archbishops 
are installed into their office. The depredations of 
Cromwell are manifest in various places. 

I ascended the belfry, two hundred and fourteen steps 
high : the prospect which the highest tower commands 
is too beautiful for description. The city, with its vari- 
ous ruins, added to the uncommon richness of the coun- 
try; the river Stour beautifully meandering through 
the richest vales, and the distant view of the cliffs near 
Ramsgate, surpass description. 

October 18, 1809. 
The remains of my darling nephew I have just seen 
committed to the cold and silent tomb. All that per- 
tains to death is awfully impressive; and if we go not 
beyond the eye of sense, it is overwhelming. Can the 
mortal part charm when the spirit has left it ? O no. 
Why is it then that the body, which must so soon turn 
to corruption, occupies so large a portion of our thoughts ? 
It is vain. The spirit which animated it cannot die, 
cannot see corruption: — hence those who live a life of 
sense, whose thoughts are occupied in decking this cor- 
ruptible clay, have strangely lost the right perception of 
things. How awful is our state, independent of revela- 
tion ! Of few days, and full of trouble. The flowers 
which to-day delight and ravish our eyes, to-morrow are 
cut down and withered. All on earth must say to cor- 
ruption, Thou art my mother, and to the worm, Thou 
art my sister. Such is our destiny by nature. But thou, 
my soul, hast higher hopes, and sublimer expectations : 
thy immortal interests are, through grace, thy chief con- 
cern : thou hast been taught by the word of God, that 
though the outward tabernacle be dissolved, thou hast a 
building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal 
in the heavens. Joyful prospect I Live but in the pre- 
paration for this, and death will lose its sting, the grave 
its terrors, and the world its charms. Well then, be 



4S Diary of 

not cast down 3 all on earth is changeable : there is ne 
rest here : thou hast proved its insufficiency to impart 
one moment's real solid satisfaction. But God is un= 
changeable ; his arras of mercy are ever open to receive 
those who seek him ; his promises are as eternal as his 
nature. The only wisdom is to seek Godj and to pre- 
pare to meet him. Remember, O my soul, that every 
day thou art called upon to remember thy God, to seek 
his favour, and to begin here that employ which is the 
bliss of angels aud glorified spirits. Religion, if it exist 
in the soul, must subdue sin ; it must be manifested in 
every action of the life; tempers must be sanctified, holy 
dispositions implanted. These are the evidences of a 
state of grace ; it is this which makes the soul easy under 
all the afflictions of life ; by the simple act of faith, the 
looking unto Jesus, these blessed effects will follow. 
This is the blessed union which subsists between Christ 
and his people; these are the evidences of the indwelling 
of the Holy Spirit, which can make the Christian joyous, 
happy, and even triumphant in the anticipation of that 
event which I have this day witnessed. 

The silent tomb must be my last mortal abode i it may 
be very soon. The dear child, three days before he died, 
was apparently in the bloom of health and beauty. 
Death, having received his commission, unbarred to him 
the gates of Paradise, and presented him as a trophy of 
the Redeemer's blood. And, O! if when mortal paleness 
is on my cheek, glory be but in my soul ; kind messen- 
ger, with all thy gloomy train, I will welcome thy ap- 
proach, and hail thee as a friend. 

Oct. 30, 1809* 
Once again I have the enjoyment of my quiet home, 
Mercy has surrounded me ever since I left it ; mercy 
now gladdens my heart, and makes me in some degree 
possess that peace which passeth understanding. Shall 
I ever leave those paths of religion on which I have en- 
tered? Ever return to that world with which I am at 
variance? Oh! no. With the practice of religion is 
connected much enjoyment ; in the experience of reli- 
gion is found the peace and joy which fills and satisfies 
the immortal soul. It is only "the Spirit of God which 



MRS. COOPER. 49 

can satisfy fhe spirit of man : religion alone affords ob- 
jects worthy of its regard. 

How many motives have I for constant prayer, 
for daily importunity with God, that I may be kept 
in the paths of life and happiness ! For this end, I must 
continue to use those means which the Holy Spirit 
hath blessed to me. If I forsake God, I shall lose the 
light of his countenance, bring bitterness on my soul, 
and disgrace my profession. O blessed God! I desire 
again to devote myself to ttfy service; I give thee my 
heart, and would entreat Thee to impart a portion of thy 
Spirit, that every faculty of my soul may be renewed. 

Nov. 10. 
This morning the Wesleyan chapel was opened by 
Mr. Moore ; and in the evening Dr. Clarke preached. 
The edification I have found in that connexion, is 
a powerful motive for my embracing every opportunity 
of attending the ministration of God in that place. In 
truth, my views of religion have been so much enlarged 
and invigorated for the last eight months, that the prior 
knowledge 1 had of it, seems to me now, to have been 
more speculative than experimental, more notional than 
practical. 

Nov. 16, 1809. 

The life of God in the soul can only be maintained by 
constant watchfulness: it is vain to compromise with 
the world; by so doing spirituality is banished. A 
well grounded peace with God can only be possessed by 
the heart that has entirely, without any reserve, given 
up all to God. 

The inestimable blessing of divine illumination, the 
gift of the Holy Spirit, is only promised to those that 
seek it. Perseverance is needful ; and when the in- 
finite value of this aift is considered, surely the soul 
should possess itself with patience and diligent seeking 
till the divine breathing be communicated. I have al- 
ways found the blessings of grace dispensed to me in 
proportion to my diligence in seeking" them. Much 
profit I have found by stated seasons of devotion, and 
devotional reading. This is, indeed, great encourage 

E 





r 



50 DIARY OF 

merit for me most diligently and importunately to seek 
that sense of God's pardoning mercy which shall diffuse 
the peace which passeth understanding. Many have 
sweetly experienced this, and have given proof that 
they have obtained it by an entire renewal of the soul; 
this is the lost image of God restored. 

My confidence in God is greatly strengthened. The 
world has lost all its charms for me; and l the pearl 
of great price' is what 1 most desire to possess: — to 
keep my heart with all diligence, to watch the firsl 
risings of sin, and to fear the quenching of the Holy- 
Spirit — this be now my care and business. Religion 
demands my time, my talents, and my affections 5 and I 
bless God I have no desire to make any reserve. I 
desire to be wholly the Lord's ; and to prove it by holi- 
ness in all manner of conversation. I must indeed daily 
pray and strive against pride, and warmth of temper: 
the first Manifests itself when my favourite opinions are 
opposed. Here, iudeed, a strict watch is necessary. I 
must avoid controversy in religion : and remember that 
acrimony and taking offence are great proofs that piety- 
has not its due influence on the heart. 

Nov. 29, 1809. 
Since my return from Margate I have made scarcely 
any progress in my historical reading: the bent of my 
taste and inclinations kas been so strongly towards the- 
ology and devotional books, that I have but little relish 
for trifling reading. My mind is now, I think, made 
up as to the scriptural nature and holy tendency of the 
doctrines Mr. Wesley embraced and enforced. I have 
been happy in the investigation ; and am most urmly 
persuaded that his view of Christian perfection is at 
once the privilege and the happiness of the Christian j 
an eminence which it is necessary to strive and pray to 
obtain. It is not for us to sit down in calm indifference, 
and wait for these influences of the Holy Spirit; this 
blessing is only bestowed on those who believe, and who 
earnestly pray and wait for this full redemption. Al- 
though I am not yet the happy possessor of it, I am 
greatly encouraged by that promise, Psalm cxlv. 12. 
'He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him; he also 



MRS. COOPER. J \ 

will hear their cry and will save them.' I must watch 
and pray, and live by faith on Jesus Christ, who hath 
said, 'Ask, aud ye shall receive;' and while I do this 
in sincerity, I shall not be confounded ; for his promises 
are as immutable as his nature. 

To-morrow there will be a love-feast : I am permitted 
to attend. There seem difficulties in the way of my 
joining the society, or I certainly would ; I owe much 
to their preaching- ; and this is a debt I hope still to in- 
crease. There is a simplicity of mind about them of 
which I desire to partake ; as anew-born babe to receive 
the sincere milk of the word, that I may grow thereby, 

Dec. 2, 1809. 
Only blessed are they who have a present salvation $ 
who, with holy confidence, can call God, Abba Father : 
this blessed relation producing conformity to his will, 
and a supreme love to him and his ways. 

* But while I seek and find thee not, 

* No peace my wandering soul shall see.' 

For the last week I hope I have in sincerity waited on 
God in prayer. I believe I have ; nor can I charge my- 
self with indifference towards him. Yet, alas ! I am in 
bondage. Before I went to sleep one night, I asked 
myself; ' Should Death present himself to me this 
night, have I a ground of confidence to ensure my peace 
at the summons ?' Alas! no. Dou hts prevailed. Were 
I justified by faith, I feel assured that death would have 
no terrors in my apprehension. Well, then, I must wait 
the coming of the Lord. Though he seem to tarry long, 
true and faithful is his word. Another source of grief I 
find in the want of spirituality of mind : when I awake 
in the morning, my thoughts wander upon trifles — but, 
Oh ! how rarely do they fix themselves on God ; and 
rise in holy aspirations to his glorious name. Were God 
the supreme, the only object of my love, would not my 
thoughts be of him, last at night, and first in the dawn 
of morn ? I was much comforted by a sermon of Mr. 
Martin's on Monday evening, on the omniscience of 
God. 6 Will God in very deed dwell with men ? Be- 



52 DIARY OF 

hold the heaven, &c.' I have suffered raueh from unbe^ 
lief on this head. Of how many precious consolations 
have I been robbed by the evil suggestions.^ fc Doth God, 
indeed, (concerned as he is with the infinitude of his 
affairs,) stoop to notice my mean concerns ?' Mr. M . 
forcibly appealed to my reasou, and my religion, as to 
the absurdity and evil of these suggestions. God is a 
spirit, and no spirit can exist without his energy : in- 
deed, were it otherwise, it would imply an imperfection 
in his nature. From Satan, are all those dishonourable 
doubts which have at times but too much occupied my 
thoughts. In adopting the sentiments of the Wesleyans 
I have thought it justice to myself, and to the cause of 
truth, well to study, think upon, and investigate the 
matter : perhaps this external examination has been 
unfavourable to internal piety. Locke's Essay on St 
Paul's Epistles, has fully satisfied me of the injustice of 
taking detached verses or passages to build a doctrine 
upon ; which, were the whole tenor and design of the 
letter or epistle taken, would have a primary and differ- 
ent signification. The Apostle's arguments in his Epis- 
tle to the Romans are more especially respective of the 
Jews and Gentiles. This seems clear in reading the 
whole Epistle at once, and by this we may ascertain the 
drift of his argument. 

Dec. 11, 1809. 
The last week I enjoyed many moments of sweet in- 
expressible consolation ; at times 1 enjoyed an ejaeula- 
tory comqauniou with God ; although I have not had 
that distinct assurance of his pardoning love, for which 
I most earnestly pray ; yet I cannot but receive these 
occasional visitations of his favour as tokens for good ; 
that in his own time I shall experience that blissful union 
with him, and that ardent love to him, which I desire. 
O my God, have I not given myself up to Thee ? Is not 
my entire dependence on thy beloved Son, whom thou 
didst give a ransom for all ? I desire to act constant faith 
on him; to give him the best, the warmest desires of 
my heart; to have him reign unrivalled there! Shall I 
seek his face iu vain? No, I cannot doubt his promise* 
Who to the present time, has been so faithful. It is 



MKa. COOPER. 53 

through his grace I am what I am 5 and that I can truly 
say, I desire God as my portion. My happiness and 
hopes are centered alone in him ; and I long and pray 
to have every faculty of my sonl absorbed in divine 
love. This will renovate my nature, and make me grieve 
even at the thought of sinning against so much good- 
ness. Though I outwardly check the evils of my nature, 
yet if they rise within, what cause of humility and of 
constant application to the blood of Jesus ! 

Dec. 13. 

I believe that an habitual sense of the uncertainty of 
life would be the most prevailing incentive to a devo- 
tional, holy frame of mind. It was an unhallowed 
thought that arose, (I checked it by the above consider- 
ation) * Why this early strictness ; you are yet young ? 
how will you be able to maintain present views for many 
years V My time is in thy hands, O God. Do I not de- 
sire thy favour as a present happiness? Do I not strive 
to overcome my sins, that I may enjoy thee, and through 
thy Spirit be prepared for everlasting blessedness ? And 
is not the delight, the sacred composure resulting from 
the conquest of sin, infinitely more desirable than being 
overcome by it ? 

I wish to take the word of God as it is : that is faithy 
to receive it with child-like simplicity; to be taught by 
the Spirit; this is the wisdom I ask of God. What is 
earthly wisdom in comparison of this ? But the wisdom 
the Most High imparts here, he will perfect hereafter, 
'in the floods of celestial light." Not that I decry earth- 
ly knowledge : — it is most desirable when in subservien- 
cy to religion. History and science may be consecra- 
ted at the cross ; they enlarge our conception of God's 
dealings with the world, and of his infinite wisdom, 
power, and goodness in the wonderful formation and pre- 
servation of the world, and all therein. Here we dis- 
cover our slender conceptions, and our feeble attempts 
to trace the causes of the various phenomena, the effects 
of which so forcibly strike us. O ! bend low at the foot- 
stool of the Deity ; man is but a worm : if thou be a 
Christian, the world is a conquered enemy. Where 
should it lie then, but at thy feet ? 
E 2 



54 DIARY OF 

Dec. 20, nog. 

Daily experience convinces me how dependent I am 
on God for all spiritual assistance, and for the power 
through which I can persevere. Without his present 
help, who fills heaven aud earth, I sink, I die. I have 
power to use the means ; and no blessings ever attend 
me without them. But the means would be no bless- 
ings were I not to seek the assistance of the Spirit of 
God. 

Were I to read trifling books, pay trifling visits, or 
neglect stated seasons for devotion, my poor heart 
would again become the seat of earthly vanities. 

Thus far I am a free agent \ I can avoid the former, 
and can direct my attention to the latter : and by so 
doing I often find the blessed presence of God. 

Though I am still an entire debtor to his grace, yet 
God works by means ; and he is faithful to his promises $ 
those that seek do find, and the bruised reed he will not 
break. Ungrateful should I be, after what I have expe- 
rienced of God's goodness, were I to tempt him to for- 
sake me now that my outward circumstances so much 
conspire to render an attendance upon him easy and 
delightful. 

Blessed Spirit, still visit me with thy gracious in- 
fluences! 

Dec. 21. 
I have generally returned from visiting professors of 
religion with great dissatisfaction. The great Redeem- 
er, who might so justly claim the chief of their thoughts, 
has been the only neglected topic of conversation. How 
often have I been grieved ! how often attempted in vain, 
to introduce eternal things! Not so this evening: I have 
returned home from Mr. S.'s, with a heart more disposed 
for devotion, and more impressed with the love of God. 
The characters of two eminent servants of God, Mr. W. 
and Mr. Pearce, (the latter deceased,) were subjects of 
converse and delineation. How did my heart rejoice 
at the lovely accounts of Mr. W.'s family devotions, and 
habitual fervent piety. O may I remember the same 
Lord is rich unto all that call upon him. How great 
must have been his obstacles, and how powerful the temp- 
tation arising from his exalted station ? 



MRS. CGOfcER. 55 

How inexcusable shall I be if, amid all my advantages, 
I should fall short; and so not having the Spirit of 
Christ, be none of his. — Arise, my soul, call upon thy 
God, and seek the choicest blessings of his grace. 

Dec-22, 1809. 

For the last three years (since we left town) I have 
almost entirely neglected receiving the Lord's Supper. 
I believe I have suffered much loss by it; as when I did 
receive it I found it a very quickening mean of grace : 
so since I ceased to enjoy this divine ordinance, I have 
often been overwhelmed with lukewarmness ; and, when 
sometimes roused to greater diligence in the pursuit of 
eternal things, the obstacles have been many, viz. my 
great distance from the Lock Chapel, a prevailing dis- 
like to the idea of joining the independent meeting, from 
my not being decidedly a dissenter; and, lastly, the 
mode of admission to this blessed ordinance among them, 
by a church examination. 1 feel, indeed, very thankful 
to God that the way is now clear before me : an unex- 
pected door is open, and I am once again invited to the 
blessed feast of the Saviour's love in the Methodist Cha- 
pel, where I have received so much spiritual benefit 
without any obstacle, either from circumstances or con- 
science; being near my own house, administered in the 
church of England mode, which I always preferred ; 
and my admission to this heavenly ordinance among this 
people is from the impression of my being a decided 
character. O may I never deceive myself or others, 
but more ' perfectly love Thee, and more worthily mag- 
nify thy holy name, O Lord, for ever and ever.* 

How kind was the Redeemer in thus leaving a sensible 
memorial of his unbounded love. Remember, my soul, 
that this sacrament, in its spiritual extent, is a covenant 
by which Jesus engages to dwell in thy heart by faith ; 
and if it be properly entered into on thy part, thou dost 
dedicate thy body, soul, and spirit unto the Lord ; firm- 
ly purposing to devote every power and faculty to glorify 
thy Redeemer so long as thou hast a being. 

O thou that nearest prayer, to thee 1 can appeal as to 
the sincerity of my desires of giving myself up to thee* 
Is it not my daily prayer to live by faith on my Redeem- 



56 DIARY OF 

cr ? Do I not ask with importunity for the gift of thy 
Spirit to enable me to perform my resolutions, to over- 
come every sin, and to seek for entire sanctification. 
When, by thy grace, I have been enabled to overcome 
outward temptations, yet what reason have I had to be 
humble for the corruptions of my nature ; the rising's of 
temper, pride, &c. which have been naked and open to 
Him who is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity? 
What reason for constant humility and application to the 
blood of the covenant. ' Without holiness no man shall 
see the Lord." O that these words may be engraven on 
the tablet of my heart : I have no time to lose ; the pre- 
sent is all I can call my own. I must therefore labour 
to enter into this rest : and act constant faith on him with 
whom all things are possible, even my present sanctifica- 
tion. O may I examine myself strictly by the word of 
God, whether I be in the faith ; whether the works of 
the Spirit be manifest; and whether God be gradually 
restoring my soul to his divine image. I am not my own, 
but thine, blessed Lord. I have given myself up to thee, 
my hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, have they not 
their source from thy word ? The world is an enemy's 
country ; but through it I must journey to the heavenly 
city. O that I may keep that in sight : there will be a 
full compensation for all the thorns and briars, and buf- 
fetings by the way O Lord, satisfy my soul with thy 
precious love ; and I will welcome adversity, crosses, 
pains, and disappointments. Give me but faith in the 
unseen world, and I will trample the present world 
under my feet. 

Dec. 23, 1809. 
I have had a most pleasing anticipation of the services 
of to-morrow, once again to be invited to the spiritual 
banquet prepared by my Saviour; once again to have 
those precious words addressed to me. ' Take, eat : 
this is my body.' If faith be but in exercise, shall I not 
be strengthened to run the race to obtain the prize ? 
Will not my heart be more warned, my graces more 
nourished, my corruptions more weakened, my hopes 
of assurance more heightened ? If I do not receive 
these blessings, I must impute it to the weakness of my 



MRS. COOPER. .57 

faith. But let me examine myself, whether my heart be 
fitly prepared for the reception of these divine myste- 
ries. What is my advancement in knowledge? Has the 
recollection of the sins of my early years, of the mis- 
improvement of that light inspired into my mind at an 
early period; of my heart wanderings. from God after 
J had made an outward profession in 1803 ; of my care- 
less performance of private prayer and devotional read- 
ing ; of my lukewarmness and misimprovement of the 
ordinances of God ? Have I been humbled before God, 
and have I sought forgiveness through Christ for these 
manifold transgressions ? Have I bewailed these offences 
as committed against God's purity, and as the basest in- 
gratitude? If I have, can I find more humility, more 
watchfulness, more intense desires after entire conformity 
to God ? Lord, I have not the evidences I desire to have ; 
yet, blessed be thy name, I can trace earnest desires and 
endeavours after them ; aud I daily wait at thy feet for 
these blessings, for the fulfilment of thy promises. 

' Without faith it is impossible to please God.* Have 
I used the little imparted to me ? By contemplating the 
unseen world, and by a lively persuasion that my only 
trust and hope of present and future happiness is from 
the Redeemer's love, I have rejoiced with joy unspeak- 
able ; sweet peace has shed its balmy influence on my 
heart, and I have exclaimed, ( My beloved is mine, and 
I am his.' — How have I loved retirement on these occa- 
sions, and mused on the precious love of God to my 
soul? Surely, O Lord, it was thy Spirit working on my 
heart. How lovely was Christ? how hateful the appear- 
ances of evil to my soul, which at those seasons panted 
after thee? Were not these, exercises of faith! Lord, 
increase my faith. Help me to be watchful against the 
risings of sin, and to be importunate with thee for larger 
degrees of humility. O that heavenly grace! 

Jesus, my teacher, can I ever indulge high-minded- 
ness, self-love, and vain conceit? I shall have strangely 
forgotten thee as my pattern, who wast meek and lowly 
of heart, if these detestable evils again reign in my 
heart. ' By this shall all men know that ye are my 
disciples, if ye have love one to another. 

Do I love the image of Christ wherever I behold it 



J 8 DIARY OF 

reflected in any of his members ? Can I esteem grace 
though in poverty ? Do I behave with Christian humili- 
ty to all who love the Saviour, and strive to promote their 
interests as far as » have ability ? In this I do rejoice, 
and humbly hope I may add an affirmative to each of 
these queries. Lord, increase my love of them and thee. 
Is my obedience to Christ constraiued ; or does it pro- 
ceed from love and entire willingness to be his in body, 
soul, and spirit ? Blessed Saviour, can I contemplate thy 
life, death, and sufferings, and be insensible to the 
amazing* sacrifice, the astonishing love which could in- 
duce thee to leave the realms of uncreated blessedness, 
that thy creature man might be reconciled to an offend- 
ed God ? Didst thou offer thyself a voluntary sacrifice for 
my sins, and can I hesitate whether I shall give up all to 
thee? Impossible — poor indeed, is the return — yet, as 
thou art supremely lovely in my esteem, I wish to 
make no reserve, but to dedicate all my powers to thee, 
and have all my desires center in thee; nothing 
but thy love can satisfy my soul. — O be present 
with me when I bow before thy altar, and partake of the 
broken bread, emblem of that precious body which was 
broken on the cross; and drink of that wine, commemo- 
rative of thy most precious blood, which flowed for the 
salvation of thy guilty creatures, I am very weak and 
helpless, but thou art strong and mighty, I want hea- 
venly wisdom, that I may understand the heights and 
depths of redeeming love. I want to love the Lord with 
all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength ; and 
to love ray neighbour as myself. Thou alone canst 
make me a partaker of these amazing blessings. O may 
I not ask amiss, but receive of thee grace, constantly to 
seek thy favour, and live upon thy revealed word. 

Dec. 25, 1809. 
Yesterday I heard Mr. Benson preach three times : it 
was the most delightful Sabbath I ever spent. His ser- 
mon in the morning was from John i. 12. In elucidating 
the beginning of that chapter, I was surprised, and de- 
lighted with his clear views of the Trinity; a subject on 
which, I had previously understood, he excelled. In 
the first head of his discourse he showed what was meant 
hy receiving Christ, accepting him alone as a Teacher 3 



MRS* COOPER. 59 

trusting him as a Mediator, loving- him as the only Re- 
deemer, and acknowledging him as our Governor; he 
being the author of eternal salvation, only to those who 
obey him. 

I was enabled, I trust, through the Spirit's influence^ 
to believe my interest in him. I could no longer with- 
stand j but in my heart said, c My beloved is mine, and 
I am his.' How sweetly did he expatiate upon the pri- 
vileges of God's children ! How did he unfold the bless- 
ed effects of that holy relationship, and urge us yet to 
press forward and seek after an entire conformity to the 
image of God. 

In the afternoon he preached from 1 Tim. i. 15. in 
the evening from 1 John iii. 8. The Lord's Supper was 
not administered till to-day by Mr. Martin. Surely this 
is a day which I shall have in everlasting remembrance. 
I found the chapel to be none other than the house of 
God, and the gate of Heaven ; surely I was enabled to 
feed upon Christ in my heart by faith, with thanksgiving, 
I bless and praise thee, my Redeemer, for thy presence 
manifested to me this day. By faith have I entered the 
manger where the blessed Jesus condescended to make 
his appearance ; doing honour to our nature in veiling 
his Godhead in our humanity. O, I left my burden in 
the manger! my faith kindled at the sight; he is my 
bright and morning-star ; and, while he sheds the divine 
radiance on m}' soul, I am supremely happy. Perhaps 
thou hast sent me this as a cordial ; as a preparative for 
trials: O Lord, I want a faith that will overcome all diffi- 
culty, all opposition, and all discouragement. I want a 
faith operating on every power of my soul ; I want to be 
subdued entirely to thy grace, and know no will but 
thine. O Lord, while 1 am seeking strength from thee, 
and acting faith upon thee, I shall not grieve thee by se- 
parating from thy mild and lovely government : but O, 
leave me not to myself; for, separate from thee, I fall :• 
separate from thee I only know disquietude, and am left 
to the darkness and ignorance of my own mind. 

This day I have again sealed the covenant ; I have en- 
listed under the banners of the cross, and am no longer 
my own but his ; bought with the price of the Redeemer's 
blood. How powerful are my motives for persevering- 



60 DIARY OF 

What! shall I forsake the fountain of living waters, the 
streams of which have gladdened ray heart and intro- 
duced a taste of heaven ? Shall I ever again try the 
world — that deceiver? Shall I, with eternity before me 5 
I, who can only ensure the present now, shall I again ru 
the risk of losing my title to immortality, by indulginj 
lukewarmness and indifference; by trifling or misim 
proving the time given me for so important a work ?- 

Lord, I beseech thee, be thou my helper, keep thy 
abode in my heart ; and let me experience more and 
more the love, the joy, the peace of believing. In pro- 
portion as I do this, shall I disdain the poor offerings of 
this vain world 3 and see the inadequacy of human know- 
ledge for immortal powers ; as also the danger, the misery 
of allowing the heart to be divided, of making a truce 
with the world, which was always God's enemy - y and 
therefore is and ought to be mine. i Bless the Lord, O 
my soul j and never forget this day's benefits.' 

Dec. 29, 1809. 

1 have, with little intermission, enjoyed the manifest 
tation of God's love in my soul the past week ; in one 
instance I grieved the Spirit of God. Oh, what sensa- 
tions of anguish did it occasion me ? by earnest prayer ~ 
was restored to peace before night. From this I learn 
the necessity of being continually Watchful : to be over- 
come by sin 5 what bitterness does it occasion ? how are 
evidences clouded ? how does the soul recoil at the idea, 
that the Son of God is thereby crucified afresh ? what 
carefulness has it wrought in me ever since 5 how impor- 
tu ate was I the following morning for God's grace t 
keep me from the approach of evil. In tender mercy he 
has h^ard my prayer: I feel convinced that sin must be 
a strange work to the believer : It is incompatible with th 
indwelling of the Spirit of God : l long to fee] deeper the 
Spirit's influence j'. i want to be filled with that holy lov 
which shall make me increasingly superior to the allure- 
ments of sense, which shall make my affections spiritual, 
and keep me aspiring' aft^r entire subordination and lov 
to God ; no that heaven begun below may be my happy 
portion. O I have felt the joy arising from a sense of par- 
don; may 1 never forfeit it by sinning against the God 






B1RS. COOPER. 61 

of all goodness, who, in so much mercy, answered my 
prayers. My faith is, alas ! very weak. O may I more 
fullv comprehend the large extent of that salvation 
Christ came to bestow, even a deliverance from the pow- 
er of all sin ; a vital and mysterious union of the soul 
with himself; that ' white stone which no man knoweth 
save he that receiveth it.' " 



[On eutering into a solemn covenant with God at the 
commencement of the New Year, she makes the follow 
lug remarks and resolutions : — ] 

Jan. 7, 1810. 
" I have this day added to my obligations of living only 
and closely to God. I have entered into a public and 
solemu covenant with the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, 
to give up my body, soul, and spirit, all I have and all I 
am, to Him, as a most reasonable service. God is my 
witness, that my heart is sincere in this self-dedication ; 
that I choose Christ with his yoke* his cross and his 
crown, i in preference to the world, its icealth, its plea- 
sures and its curse. Things temporal are but as a sha- 
dow; things which are eternal are substantial. O my 
God, thy eyelids try the children of men ; thou hast 
witnessed and ratified in Heaven that most solemn re- 
nunciation which I have made of sin and self; I have 
given myself up to thee as thy servant. — Choose thou 
for me my future portion ; be my inheritance. O blissful 
thought! The eternal God, who by a word spake all 
creation into existence, who was from everlasting to ever- 
lasting, even he whose existence is so incomprehensible, 
has promised to take up his abode in the contrite heart. 
This is his revelation : the world by wisdom knew it not : 
it was a stretch too vast for human thought, that He 
whom the heaven of heavens cannot contain, should thus 
condescend to visit every heart that will make him room, 
O fill my soul with thy love, and heaven shall commence 
there. O that I may daily take up my cross and follow 
thee j be under the teachings of thy Spirit; and never, never 

F 



§2 BIARY OF 

grieve him, but be more and more assimilated to the 
image of God \ possessing that inward and outward ho= 
liness without which the gates of Heaven wilt be closed 
to me. — Hence may I learn that as the present moment 
is all I can ensure ; so constant and present living, on 
Christ is my duty and privilege: and to depend on that 
grace which he has said shall be sufficient. — This is liv- 
ing by faith ; this is the life I desire to live ; and if there 
be any secret sin which rises up in opposition, Holy Spi- 
rit, convince me of it ; and let me not rest satisfied, be 
it a right arm or a right eye, till it is cut off or plucked 
out! — Help me diligently to use all the means of grace 
thou hast prescribed, for the utter destruction of all my 
corruptions; and to watch against all temptations, parti- 
cularly those of prosperity. That is a hard trial to a 
Christian, it being but rarely his element in this world, 
-*-Thy holy word I take to be the rule of my life ; to thy 
yoke I submit. O be thou my teacher and my in- 
structer in meekness and lowliness of heart ; in purity of 
inteutiou, in habitual devotion of mind, in a holy supe- 
riority to the allurements of sense, and the fascination^ 
of pleasure ! O give me that living water that I may 
never thirst ; and let it spring up within me unto ever- 
lasting life! — Amen and Amen. 

MARY HANSON. 

Jan. II, 1810. 
I have enjoyed much of the divine presence this day ■ 
my soul has been filled with love and peace. 

* Renounce all strength but strength divine, 

• And peace shall be for ever mine. 7 

By simply believing and looking unto Jesus, are receiv- 
ed ail those divine blessings which cause the euraptured 
soul to say, ' My Father, my God, and my friend.* God 
is indeed faithful to his promises : when I seek his face 
and his favour with siucerity, when I desire it as my 
chief good, then he, by his Spirit, manifests himself, gives 
me power over sin, and imparts a peace which passeth 
understanding. — I am jealous of any interruption to these 
sublime emotions ; his presence who fills Heaven ant* 



MRS. COOPER. 63 

earth alone, satisfies ray soul; I desire bo other compa- 
ny. This peace can only be maintained by conquest 
over sin. And Oh! how impossible while under these 
sacred influences, to be ruffled by passion, or overcome 
by pride.— Clouds may succeed this sunshine. O my 
God, prepare me for thy will, for I have given up my 
pwv. -^-Prepare me for temptation and suffering ; may I 
be strengthened by these proofs of thy paternal care, 
and take up my cross and follow tbee daily. 

Jan. 22, 1810. 

When the sou! is impressed with a sense of the divine 
presence and love, the world in vain attempts to seduce; 
feeling its celestial origin and destination, the soul leaves 
sensible objects, and soars to the pure fountain of life 
and happiness. 

O my God, I acknowledge thy goodness to the present 
foment ; the last week I was in London, a place of all 
others I had before found unfavourable for meditation; 
and yet, glory to thy name, thou wast there present to 
ray soul ; thou art 

1 In the void waste as in the city full.' 

I have returned to my loved closet, strengthened and 
animated to run with vigour the race set before me. O 
thou best of Beings; one ray of thy benignity can impart 
the most solid and exquisite delight ; in the contemplation 
of thee how does my soul expand ! How does it long 
to possess the fruition of thy grace and glory ! It is then 
I feel fettered by mortality O may I drink deeper into 
these holy mysteries, and feel more powerfully that thy 
Spirit is within me; that my life is hid with Christ in 
God. 

O Saviour of mankind, how inadequate is a life, an 
eternity of praise, to show forth thy love to my poor soul. 
O may my short life be a life of obedience! 

Jan. 23, 1810, 
It is with peculiar gratitude I record that the last 
months of the past year have been in a spiritual sense 
tne best of my life;"God has been faithful to his word : 



64 DIARY OF 

shall I ever forsake him and grieve his Spirit by lake- 
warmuess? Unless I persevere in fervent prayer, in de- 
votional retirement, and constant icatch fulness, the en- 
snaring world, and my more ensnaring heart, will gain the 
victory; and heaven and eternity will be but rarely con- 
templated. O my God, save me from this ! never can I 
know true peace independent of thee ; O enable me to 
prefer thee to all the world besides; and to exercise a 
never-failing trust in thy providence ! O my heavenly 
Father I let me henceforth depend supremely on thy 
parental care ; and seek no other guide than thy holy 
word. May a more entire happiness in thee be the su- 
preme object of my hopes. Whatever may be the result 
of the year I am now enteriug upon, with regard to 
temporal concerns, may my soul but enjoy the presence 
of God, and all will be well. I wish more powerfully to 
feel the necessity of constantly seeking the influence of 
the Holy Spirit, to renovate my nature, to baptize me 
afresh ; these are evidences of a state of acceptance with 
God. Christ was manifested to destroy sin ; and if he 
has been and is manifested to my soul, sin will be de- 
stroyed, viz. its reigning and allowed pmcers. I must 
be meek aud lowly ; humble and teachable ; these are 
lessons none can effectually teach me but the Spirit, and 
he can ; and will, if I act faith on the promises, and be 
»ot satisfied till they are fulfilled. 

Jan. 24, 1810. 
All things are possible to them that believe ; even 
entire sanctification. — Am I advancing in holiness? Alas! 
worldly thoughts occupy too large a share of every day ; 
thoughts which, if not immediately worldly, yet tend to 
no good ; vague and wandering. — When I should be en- 
joying God, perhaps lam indulging self-conceit, or sup- 
posed superiority of mind. — ' How long shall vain 
thoughts lodge within me.' Cleanse thou the thoughts 
of my heart by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit; all evil 
is first engendered in the heart ; God looks to the heart ; 
the law, the gospel-law extends to the thoughts of the 
heart : if the fountain be pure, the streams canuot be cor 
rupt. — May I keep my heart with all diligence, and be 
importunate with God to sanctify me wholly. — Uere is in 



MRS. COOPER. 65 

deed cause for humility, but none for despair. Though 
my thoughts have been vain, blessed be God who hear- 
eth prayer, he hath not suffered me, through their influ- 
ence, to commit actual and known sin. I must guard 
against judging too much of my state from such frames 
and feelings; these are often affected by various physical 
causes ; my judgment of myself must proceed from the 
prevailing practical desires of living near to God, and 
obeying him ; and I know that I shall be happy in pro- 
portion as these are lively and strong ; the divine com- 
munication will be opened, and prayer be the ladder by 
which I shall step from earth to Heaven. These are the 
blessed realities of religion ; the more they are sought 
the more largely will they be dispensed. The most 
effectual antidote to worldly thoughts and vain de- 
sires is the consideration of the omnipresence of 

God. Alas ! I have thought too little of this, and 

also of the future judgment. — For a habitual reflection 
on these I must daily petition the Father of mercies ; be-, 
lieving he will accomplish every thing asked in faith 
according to his word. 

I am sensible I do not redeem time as I ought to do ; 
my plans are too lax, too much under the influence of 
passing accidents ; in work I loiter, and in visiting the 
poor am not sufficiently strenuous in spiritual things, nor 
active enough in my exertions ; this, with the help of God, 
I hope to amend, and to attain to greater diligence in 
business and fervency of spirit — serving the Lord. 

Hammersmith, Jan. 27, 1810. 

Eternity alone can develope the full extent of the 
Redeemer's love. When we there behold him in the 
splendour of his Godhead, surrounded by angels and arch- 
angels, and the spirits of the just made perfect ; when we 
contrast bis glory with his humiliation, and ourselves have 
attained the crown of eternal felicity ; then, with an em- 
phasis Heaven alone can inspire, shall we exclaim — 
Worthy is the Lamb! 

Jesus, mindful of the weakness of human nature, 
though on the point of his extreme sufferings, left a sen- 
sible commemoration of his love, by which an appeal is 
ittde to sense and faith in those symbols of his death. 

F 2 



66 DIARY OF 

O my soul, think a little of this sacrifice. Now the ap- 
plication of it will redeem thee from the power of death, 
hell, and the grave. And what return canst thou make? 
Slothing adequate to his gift. But what does he require ? 
4 My heart.' O may it be my delight to consecrate every 
thing to him: and while by faith I see him stretched on 
the cross, may I powerfully feel the dreadful nature and 
tendency of sin. If I love him, I shall consider every sin 
as again inflicting the wounds of Calvary. He died that 
the lost Image of God might be restored in man ; that 
by the sanctification of the Spirit, man might be fitted for 
the realms of purity. 

' As the hart panteth after the water-brooks, so panteth 
my soul after thee, O God.' I am transported with thy 
love! Nothing but thee will content my soul. To par- 
take of the precious memorials *of thy love, is all Try 
heart desires. O be present with the influence of thy 
Spirit, and let me approach thy altar with my faith firmly 
fixed on Him, who bled, that I might never die. 

I desire to be filled with love, and lie prostrate in the 
dust at the consideration of my own unworthiness. 

I want my repentance deepened, my faith confirmed, 
my love inflamed. Thou only art sufficient for these 
things. 

Feb. 20, 1810. 

I was both encouraged and instructed by a sermon 
Mr. Martin preached last evening from Matt. ix. 29. — 
e According to your faith be it unto you.' 

In speaking of the nature and effects of faith, he made 
the remark, which confirmed an opinion I have long 
held, that * faith is the standard of our experience.' 
The man who believes it to be impossible that he can 
have a knowledge of the forgiveness of sins, never at- 
tains it — he cannot — because blessings are imparted only 
6 accordiug to what he believes.' In like manner those 
who believe the man of sin cau never be destroyed, will 
nr ^r attain to this blessing. Faith^ that divine and 
operative power, prevails with God. He must impart 
that which he has promised: and he has promised all 
needful things. Only believe, koow, and live up to the 
privileges of the gospel, and what a glorious prospect 
opens upon the Christian ? 



MRS. COOPER. 67 

May I but exercise more and more this divine princi- 
ple ! Lord, increase my faith ; and may an eye steadily 
fixed on thy power, bring down upon my soul thy pro- 
mised blessings. 

This day (Feb. 20,) I attended a Methodist class- 
meeting for the first time : and was much pleased with 
the earnestness and simplicity of the people. Their se- 
veral accounts of God's dealings with their souls were 
plain and scriptural ; and I do think those meetings ex- 
ceedingly well calculated to maintain holiness, and pro- 
mote it in the heart. The downcast is encouraged by 
the happy state of another soul ; and by the judicious 
advice of the leader, each receives encouragement 

for simplicity of heart to receive the kingdom of God 
as a little child ! Away with cavillings, and sceptical 
reasonings. When did these ever produce joy and 
peace in believing? Experimental religion is not a sub- 
ject which a natural man can reason upon •, it is to him 
foolishness ; it can only be spiritually discerned. O may 
the religion I profess be a well of water springing up 
within me ! — A holy principle, producing joy and peace \ 
a principle which shall make me soar above the world, 
feel the divine origin of my soul, and be constantly tend- 
ing towards the source of all true felicity. 

Feb. 27, 1810. 

1 find more and more that my happiness is inseparable 
from religion. If I pass but a short time without think- 
ing of God, and during that time am full of hilarity, and 
perhaps of thoughtlessness, how does it pierce my soul 
to think God was not in all my thoughts ? The nearer I 
live to him, the more superior I become to the fascina- 
tions of the world. This is a divine lesson : I want ha- 
bitually to practise it. Reading that has no reference 
to God, I find no delight in. My soul has now an appe- 
tite for spiritual food ; it must have daily satisfaction in 
the contemplation of the Df»ity, and of his dealings in va- 
rious ways with the souls of men. It is a pleasing evi- 
dence to my mind that my taste, pursuits, and sentiments, 
are so opposite to what they were. That which was for- 
merly a task, is now a delight; and that which was once 
my pleasure, and pursued with an unwarrantable avidity, 
delights me no more. — The more frequent and serious 



68 DIARY OF 

my meditations are on eternity, the more powerfully am 
I convinced of the rationality of devoting most of my 
time, to the study of spiritual subjects. Wisdom which 
is from above will survive the conflagration of the uni- 
verse ; and will attain its maturity where faith is lost in 
sight. The study of nature I much delight in; while it 
delights it edifies ; it exalts one's conceptions of the Dei- 
ty, and discovers to us the design and harmony of these 
his lowest works. I purpose trying again my favourite r 
chymistry, and to gain some tolerable theoretic know- 
ledge of it, being denied the practical part. Whatever 
tends to alienate my affections from God I would avoid. 
He is the Father of lights; and if he but illuminate my 
understanding, and impart his blessed presence to my 
soul, and give me more and deeper views of my own na- 
ture, and need of his glorious excellence and fulness ; I 
desire no more. I will contentedly sojourn here below, 
and meet all his dispensations with a calmness he will 
impart. 

Fast Day, Feb. *2S. 
I consider a day set apart for public humiliation aprk 
vilege ; and although there are thousands in this land 
who wholly disregard it, (and perhaps some of these are 
among the first to institute it,) yet to such as have spiri- 
tual discernment, who know and feel the heinous nature 
of sin, who have studied the histories of other countries; 
marked their rise and fall, traced the progress of that 
luxury and abandonment of public morals, which at 
length brought down the just and merited judgment of 
God; persons of this character justly fear for their own 
land, and at these seasons humble themselves not only 
for their own sins, but for those of their guilty country, 
= — My private judgment is, that a fastis not properly ob- 
served, Unless there be an entire, not partial abstinence 
nYoin ordinary food. — Not that the act, independent of 
the principle, will be regarded by God : this is fully 
evinced in Isaiah lviii. But when the body is humbled, 
vhe soul is more alive to painful subjects, acts more inde- 
pendently of it, and faith and love are winged. By ab- 
staining from customary enjoyments, we learn more sen- 
sibly to appreciate our dependence on God, and to evince 



MRS. COOPER. 69 

latitude to him for common enjoyments. Alas ! how 
many are deprived of these ! 

1 have this day felt intense desires after conformity to 
God : to have his blessed Image stamped on my soul, 
the kingdom of God within me ; and were my faith 
greater, more habitual, I should be much nearer the glo- 
rious Pentecost. It has been experienced by numbers ; 
and why should I despair ? I find, upon examining my 
heart, a great deal of self-will, pride, and worldly- mi nd~ 
edness unsubdued : but I will net rest till these enemies 
to my Lord are crucified. I have again renewed my 
covenant with God, devoting body, soul and spirit to his 
service ; resolving by his grace to go on from strength 
to strength, bearing my cross, suffering his will, till 
meetened for Heaven. Endeavouring more habitually 
* to keep the end in view," that solemn account I must 
render to my God when earth and all therein shall be 
burnt up. 

If no obstacle arise, I hope to meet in Mr. P.'s class 
to-morrow evening. I need every help, every encour- 
agement 5 and to unite myself with the people of God 
will, I hope, through the divine blessing, be a mean of 
accelerating my progress towards heavenly enjoyment. 
As little as possible will I have to do with that bane of 
piety — lukewarm professors, worldly saints. 

It is now ten months since I was induced to hear the 
Methodists, and examine their principles. My good 
opiuion of them has increased in proportion to my in- 
quiry. I have found real piety among them ; the true 
enjoyment of religion-, and, according to my judgment, 
the right apprehension of God's word. When they 
speak for themselves I agree with them on every point. 
My desire is to live and die with them; and, if it were 
God's will, never to remove out of their connexion. At 
preseut I can only partially attend the chapel. I think 
it the most apostolic church now in existence. The 
government I much approve of; and as to the local 
preachers my prejudices have ceased. I have derived 
more benefit from their plain experimental sermons, 
than from any of merely school taught divines. They 
are too useful to be rejected, too pious not to edify the 
humble followers of Jesus : I have long had the form of 



70 DIARY OF 

religion, but now I earnestly desire to feel its power T 

to delight, as far as my poor ability lies, to go about 

doing good. 

March 19, 1810. 
Sunday was the day for the society receiving their 
tickets. With much fear and trembling, I stopped, and 
received, with six others, admission tickets into the Me- 
thodist Society." 



[It was Mr. Fish who gave her the admission ticket, 
on March 18th ; and in a day or two afterwards, Mr. 
Moore sent her a regular society ticket : on the back of 
which she herself has written, < Happy in God and in 
possession of the peace which passeth under standi ng.'J 

March 24. 

u Since Monday I have enjoyed uncommon peace of 
mind ; at times great joy in believing : not one wish 
have I had to draw back from the Society ; but many 
pleasing thoughts in haying so decidedly entered in.:o 
such solemn engagements to serve my God I went to 
class, and found it very profitable; I was enabled to 
speak with more confidence than I ever expected of God's 
goodness to my soul. O, that it may be a mean of kind- 
ling the divine spark into a holy flame ; that all my 
powers may burn with love to that gracious Being, who 
j)as so mercifully inclined his ear to me. I have had, 
the past week, a full conviction of my acceptance with 
God. Unspeakable privilege ! His commandments are 
my delight; his will my happiness. O, for more ac- 
quaintance with it. 

March 30, 1810. 
For the last week I have found the blessedness of serv- 
ing God; of aspiring after more acquaintance with him, 
as the God of nature, providence and grace. I have 
had much peace ; but, oh ! how much do I find the 
means and the end connected. When I seek hira with 
my whole hearty and resign myself and all my concerns 



Mrs, cooper, fi 

into hk hands, his blessing" accompanies it : the. witnesf 
of the Spirit that I am accepted through the Beloved* 
True religion has a blessed reward connected with it 5 
and self-denial brings a present satisfaction. To main- 
tain this, prayer and watchfulness must be without ceas- 
ing; and there must be strivings against the obtrusive 
infirmities of nature, and the temptations which varying* 
circumstances may produce. Stated seasons of prayer 
and reading; must be rigorously attended to, in spite 
of dullness and sloth. Where the warfare, if religion 
had always delight connected with its requirements? It 
is a state of trial ; a life Of faith : and to him that over^ 
cometh is the crown of glory promised. 

I enjoyed, exceedingly, Mr Moore's preaching, three 
times on Sunday. In the afternoon he descanted sweet- 
ly on the love of God. — 'We love him^ because he first 
ioved us/ Revelation, reason and experience, all testi- 
fy, fhat in proportion as w£ love him, and admire his 
excellencies, in that proportion shall we do his will and 
delight in his commandments. In the evening Mr. Mo 
preached from Job xxii. 21. 'Acquaint now thyself with 
him$ and be at peace.' It was a most able discourse^ 
and he powerfully showed the unattainableness of peace^ 
independent of an acquaintance with God : such a know- 
ledge as rectifies the heart, and transforms it into his 
image. I found a great blessing in all the services* 
The society stopped after the evening service, and were 
sweetly exhorted to unity, steadfastness, and growing 
piety among themselves. 

On Monday, I spent an hour or two with Mr. Moore's 
at Mr. B.'s ; I much enjoyed his conversation : he is a 
man of true wisdom — every word has weight. He clear- 
ed up some difficult passages of Scripture, entirely to my 
satisfaction. He has kindly invited me to go and see 
him; and I much hope an opportunity will offer itself. 
He also promised to introduce me to that eminent saint- 
Lady Mary Fitzgerald ; I should like indeed to draw the 
spirit of Canaan from her lips. Before we parted, Mr* 
M. prayed most affectionately for me. In the evening 
he preached from Hebrews vi. 1. 'Therefore, leaving 
the principles, &c. let us go on unto perfection."' A most 
delightful sermon, on that controverted subject, Trs*-. 



72 DIARY OP 

ardent love to God and man, producing obedience to the: 
Divine will, is the summary of the perfection he and all 
of them preach. He told me I had put the sermon into 
his head, by repeating" that verse in the morning- I am 
thankful for it, as it tended to confirm me snore in that 
blessed doctrine. How increasing are my obligations to 
love and serve Thee, thou Lord of heaven f How con- 
tinually does the manna of thy love drop around my 
tent! Encompassed by thy mercies ; O, may every day 
find me pressing after more and deeper acquaintance 
with Thee, who fillest all in all. 

And, O, may the love thou hast imparted to my soul, 
break forth in acts of love and benevolence to all around 
me, so that the talent thou hast imparted may be im- 
proved, and I may render up my account with joy. 

April 9. 
Clouds occasionally obscure the bright beams of the 
Sun of righteousness on my soul ; but, blessed be God, 
under these clouds, my confidence in his mercy and fa- 
vour towards me is unchanged. I do not always equally 
rejoice, but I can trust. Against corruptions, tempta- 
tions and infirmities, I know I shall have to combat : a 
crown of glory is worth every effort, I find my desires 
after God increase j I want more knowledge, faith and 
love ; nor will I rest satisfied till I am set free from sin. I 
feel jealous of every thing that draws ray heart from 
this object O God ! satisfy my desires. I much enjoy- 
ed the services of yesterday ; the preacher was Mr, 
Reece, from the East London circuit, a man of very 
lively talents, original, and awakening. The 'burning 
bush^ Exodus iii was the morning subject. He took a 
general and very edifying view of the church, from that 
period to the present. A love-feast was held after the 
evening service: a more rational and scriptural account 
of God's dealings with the souls of those who spoke,, 
could not, I think, be given. I had much reason to re- 
joice with all: God is with them of a truth. O, that 
that place may be filled with such humble, holy worship- 
pers. I heard much to encourage me, as an individual. 
Religion, in this circuit, from Mr. R.'s account, is in a 
very flourishing and reviving state. Two hundred new 
members have been added since the last Conference. 






MRS. COOPER. 73 

April 23, 1810. 
In being myself raised to newness of life, I find the 
most conclusive, satisfactory evidence I can have of 
Christ's resurrection. My desires and endeavours after 
this, blessed be God, do increase For this, God endued 
me with a rational existence : for this, Christ willingly 
shed his precious blood. O glorious hope ! full of immor- 
tality. There are seasons when I can rise above the tran- 
sitory things of life $ and, by faith, pierce the veil, which 
so long hid * my Lord from my eyes. 1 I can now see 
God every where, and in every thing ; and at times, have 
transporting views of his greatness, wisdom, and love. O! 
why did I so long live at a distance from my God ; from 
the ouly source of rest and calm repose? Why did I 
ever attempt to compromise with the world $ his enemy ? 
I became uutrue to my heavenly Spouse ; counted his 
service 'an unnecessary strictness. Glory be to the 
whole Trinity, that all have conspired to deliver me from 
this darkness ; and that every day I feel a willing ne- 
cessity to love God, and give up all to him; satisfied of 
his faithfulness, that if 1 am but true to the grace he im- 
parts, he will give more and more ; and that from being 
a babe, I shall become strong in Christ Jesus, being root- 
ed and grounded in love. Faith is a continual act ; that 
which was imparted the last hour is not sufficient for the 
present : — but God is all-sufficient, and all his glori- 
ous attributes unite in my behalf, to ensure the conti- 
nuance of his favour, while I wait for him in the appoint- 
ed way. * To lore God ;' blessed privilege ! angels never 
knew such a cause ; it was left for man to attain the 
heights and depths of redeeming love. 

I was much encouraged by a sermon of Mr. Moore's, 
last evening, from Rom. vi. 4. I left the sanctuary re- 
joicing, and in ray closet had sweet intercourse with God. 
Whilst " was a lukewarm professor, I passed on very 
quietly, without opposition : but now I find my increas- 
ing earnestness produces many remarks ; and if 1 go on 
to walk in newness of life, I find that not even my 
professing friends will be silent. At these things I am 
not affrighted ; only I must be very cautious not to be. 
buffeted for faults ; not to suffer spiritual duties to in- 
terfere with my other daily avocations. For this en& 3 

G 



74? DIARY OS 

I must redeem my time 5 and, instead of rising- at six, a* 
I do now, rise an hour earlier ; and particularly be di- 
ligent when at business. God forbid I should ever bring 
any just reproach on Religion \ rather may I adorn, by 
a meek and lowly conversation, that divine cause my 
whole heart is now engaged in. I have been much in- 
terested by reading again Paley's Natural Theology, and 
Derham's Physico-Theology. This is my favourite 
amusement ; it leads me to God ; and ray eyes become 
the medium of instruction. 



April 28, iaiO. 
For the two past days I have enjoyed the peace which, 
passeth understanding. 



* Not a cloud did arise, 

• To darken the skies, 

' Or to aide for a moment my Lord from my eyes.' 



The inward witness of Christianity, is to the believer 
who experiences it, an unanswerable proof of its divinity. 
While this pervades the soul, (and the fault is in myself 
if it do not always,) how lovely are divine requisitions ! 
Self-denial has its joys, and the cross has a sweetness 
which divests it of its name. I feel my nature so re- 
newed, so transformed from what it was, that while I 
constantly feel, i O ! to grace how great a ajebtor/ I am 
constrained humbly to hope, and humbly believe, that 
God is my Father, and views me with love. Amazing 
privilege! When I contemplate his glories iu nature, in 
this beauteous globe : when my heart vibrates with gra- 
titude for the love with which his Spirit has inspired me. 
O, when I can call him mine, and know that all his glori- 
ous attributes conspire to ensure my confidence in him! 
That all, while I walk in obedieuce to Him, proclaim 
peace to my soul. 

I fikidthe blessed effect of renewing my covenant with 
God every morning. I can set to my seal that God is 
true : he is unchangeable ; and should a distance ever 
£rrow between us, the fault will be in me. Bitter work 
fpr repentance indeed. W r hy should I injure my ovn« 



aicn. 



MRS. COOPER. ■!!> 

peace by ever allowing indifference towards so glorious 
an object, to obtrude on my soul. Forbid it, gracious 
God. Let the love I now feel towards thee, every 
day increase. May I never be satisfied without pro- 
gress in the knowledge of thee. Last evening I bade 
farewell, for a few weeks, to my good old women ; and I 
found considerable delight in offering up prayer to God 
for them, to keep and support them till we meet again. 
I visited those on my poor list : I hope God has begun a 
good work in two of them ; but, what a veil of ignorance 
is there to remove from the hearts of those who have passed 
forty or sixty years in ignorance of God ; his Spirit alone 
can effect it. I have read and talked to them : prayed, 
with and for them. O that God may give an increase 1 
I am at times almost overwhelmed with the state of those 
who are dead in sin ; the awful precipice on which they 
so heedlessly stand. Faiitwould I give up myself to do 
all my little ability can, to warn and allure them to flee 
from the wrath to come. 

May 13, 1810. 
My going to town has been postponed till next week^ 
on account of my brother's illness. I continue to enjoy 
some of the blessed effects of religion : they are to me 
paths of pleasantness ; and whenever I grieve, it is be- 
cause my heart at times is not intense upon the great 
object, of having a constant communication open between 
Heaven and my soul. But I cannot rest without a large: 
increase of my present attainments. I have but just 
past the threshold of religion ; 1 want to advance til] I 
am filled with all the fulness of God." 



fin this place, on the back of her second society-tick- 
et, June, 1810, she writes — ' In London, when received : 
my mind in a calm settled frame; increasing desires of 
entire devotedness to God.'] 



76 DIARY OF 

July S, 
" After having been nearly six weeks in London, I am 
returned, I hope and believe, with new and increasing 
desires to love and serve God with all my heart and soulr 
My heart is fixed $ O God S my heart is fixed to be in 
Christ ; to walk in him, to have the indwelling" of the 
Holy Trinity. O for that measure of this incomprehen- 
sible mystery which shall produce in me mere ardent 
love, lively hope, and active obedience. Religion has 
heights and depths I long" to experience. O for a soul 
on fire for these blessings. They are offered to me : I 
will not rest till I attain larger measures of them. Let 
me not rest satisfied with mere desires ; but let ine, by 
my importunity, prevail. Lord, increase the measure 
of my faith ; let me feel myself nothing, and thou my all. 
I am increasingly sensible that religion is only so far 
a source of peace and happiuess as it infuses itself into the 
mind, and becomes there the prevailing and active prin- 
ciple: indifference is a death-blow to it. God wisely 
withholds his choice blessings from those who do not 
seek them with their whole hearts Who that has (e\t 
the real nature of religion in the soul, as a source of 
peace and renovation, can ever find the paltry enjoy- 
ments of this world worth seeking after?" 



[The following letter shows her views of the religious 
soci i ty with whom she had lately joined, with answers to 
some objections of her pious correspondent.] 

Lower Mall, March 30, 1810. 
My dear Friend, 

u Your last letter, my dearest friend, so long in com- 
ing, marks me out rather a more controversial course 
than I am disposed to take. Independent of the true 
affection we have borne each other, I should not parti- 
cularly object to a paper controversy with you, as I be- 
liev" you to be more candid and reasonable than the 
generality of those who are of your sentiments. But we 



MRS. COOPER. 77 

&r6 friends, nor do either of us wish to feel less attach- 
ment. I believe not — but rather to have it on the in- 
crease. We must not close our eyes to the many sad 
examples of Christians losing 1 for a while their charity » 
who, instead of loving their enemies, have hated the. 
friends of Christ who differed from them in some points 
of doctrine. — Let us avoid approaching the rOck on 
which many, more stable than ourselves, have split — 
That the doctrines of the Wesleyaus are those of the 
Bible, I am more and more convinced : and after an exami- 
nation of them for twelve months, and of the discipline 
and people, I have the pleasure of telling you I have 
joined the society.— To keep me from it, I have had every 
earthly motive ; to unite me to it, every spiritual one. 

When we see each other, Mary Ann, I will, if you de- 
sire it, enter fully into the points wherein we differ ; for 
your present satisfaction i will, however, answer your 
questions. — Had you been acquainted with the senti- 
ments of that great and good man, Mr. Wesley, you. 
would not have asked them :— You ask me 6 If I place 
any dependence on my own performances, as being at 
all able to recommend me to the favour of God ?! — Not 
in the least, — justified freely by his grace, I must come, 
just as I am, poor, blind, and naked, or He will never re- 
ceive me : — but, observe, — I believe that sanctification 
follows — the tree is known by its fruits.—' If a man love 
me, he will keep my commandments.' Faith works by 
Love; this is the wedding garment. — By the fruits o£ 
faith I believe you and I shall be judged at the last 
day. Read Matthew chap. xxv. — There is no merit 
in all this. — We are first justified by- the righteous- 
ness of another, and all the good we do is owing to the 
influence of the Spirit freely offered and received, but 
which we might have grieved, and quenched, and resist- 
ed.— As to your second question, * Whether God can re- 
gard you with fatherly affection to-day, and the next 
east you from him V I answer, The decrees of God re- 
spect men as believers and unbelievers ; the righteous 
shall be saved, and the wicked condemned, whoever they 
be. — These are the sovereign decrees : — but as it respects 
individuals, personally considered, there is this condition 
implied: men perstms must become righteous, continue 



/'b DIARY OF 

ill righteousness, (by the grace of God) or if they fail 
from it, return again in order to be saved. But as God 
is unchangeable, and doth not love and again hate the 
same person while he continues in the same state, but as 
he is found doing his will or the contrary ; so he loves 
and blesses the righteous, and hates all workers of iniqui- 
ty. Should we change a thousand times from bad to 
good, God is the same in his love to us, or the contrary, 
as we are found doing or not doing that which he re- 
quires of us. While we continue in the grace of God, 
freely- imparted, watching and praying, loving God with 
all our hearts, none shall pluck us out of the Redeemer's 
hands; nothing shall separate us from his love : But if 
we grow careless, neglectful of prayer and reading' the 
word of God ; count his service weariness, and hold com- 
munion with the world instead of the Creator, can you 
think such persons meet for the kingdom of Heaven ; 
These instances, my dearest friend, are not uncommon. 
5 do believe that if you and I have once received the grace 
of God, it is our own fault, and chargeable alone upon our- 
selves, that we ever lose it. God deals with us as with 
reasonable creatures ; and certain conditions are prescrib- 
ed to us. We are to ask, seek, and knock for the Holy Spi- 
rit : having received it, we are to watch and pray ; deny 
ourselves, abstain from all appearance of evil : the pow- 
er is from above; and through Christ we can do all 
these things. I have said three times as much as I intend- 
ed ; forgive me, my friend 

Through the divine influence, I enjoy, with little inter- 
ruption, great peace of mind, — I never was so truly hap- 
py. I feel that I love God, his ways and his will ; and 
my happiest moments are employed in imploring his 
continual aid, and holding communion with him : Indeed, 
my dear friend, I find the advantage of associating but lit- 
tle with that bane of piety, lukewarm professors. The 
true spirit of religion I find diffused among our society ; 
a nonconformity to the world, and a loving spirit among 
its members, helping each other in the paths of religion : 
just what I needed to quicken my poor dead soul, sunk 
as it was in spiritual sloth, and destitute of that sacred 
peace the Spirit has promised to bestow. — Well, dearest 
Mary Aim, do not let these sentiments and enjoyments. 



MRS. COOPER, 79 

if contrary to your own, diminish the love you have 
borne me : mine for you glows with the same fervour , 
and I shall have just reason to reproach myself, if I suf- 
fer the entrance of indifference. All will meet in 
heaven who love God, by whatever name they are call- 
ed : the more we get of this divine principle, the more 
we shall love each other. O ! how altogether supernatu- 
ral is the life of God in the soul: how utterly incapable 
are we, of ourselves, to maintain it one instant. As our 
wants are momentary, so must our supplies be. Blessed 
be God, for all this is promised! 

My dear friend, I long to see you, and shall be impa- 
tient till I hear from you. 

My garden begins to demand my renewed labours 
When will you inhale the fragrance of my roses, and 
help me to admire the kindness of our God in providing 
so much innocent pleasure for the delight of the senses ? 
The study of nature is still my favourite recreation ; but 
to increase in the love and knowledge of God almost 
swallows up every other desire ; and no reading but 
what tends to it satisfies me. Brother William and I 
have entered into an engagement to rise at six every 
morning, or forfeit one shilling ; the fruit of our laziness 
to be put into a poor box, of which I have the disposal. 

Adieu, ray dear friend 3 be assured you are very near 
Hie heart of 

Your most affectionate 
MARY -, 

June 14, 1810. 
My dear Mary Ann, 

I believe I never before this time have had to plead an 
excuse for silence or neglect ; nor, truly, have T ever 
been so little mistress of my own time as during the last 
two months: this alone is my apology. 

And now, my dear friend, I have to answer your two 
kind letters — When shall we meet? such frequent dis- 
appointment will make me reluctant again to indulge the 
anticipation of so pleasing an event. In the midst of 
your many sorrows, O cleave closely to your heavenly 
Father, who will sustain you, if you roll your burden upon 
him. I know of no source of comfort but religion ; and 



Si) DIARY OF 

all it affords is yours, if but you will by faith make it so.— 
To those who love and fear God, afflictions are blessings 3 
I believe they are sent in mercy to all. How does the 
chastening hand of God tend to produce self-examiuation ? 
and a thirsting after happiness which outlives the muta- 
bility of earthly things! it is then we feel the world to 
be vain, and totally incapable to afford a resting-place for 
the mind. 

My dearest friend, let neither of us be satisfied without 
making continual advances in the divine life ; let us not 
rest till we have the constant inhabitation of the Holy Tri- 
nity in our souls : you know this is promised to all that 
love Christ and keep his words ; for this I feel athirst, 
What then is all the tribulation of the world, if divine 
peace have taken possession of our minds. The world is 
such a vapour 5 a bubble ! the props of our earthly de- 
pendence are so frequently taken from us, and so justly 
too, (that we may only lean on omnipotency) that present 
things are hardly worth a serious thought. 

I often think the whole of religion is comprised in the' 
word love : — the only taste we can have of heaven below 
is, when our hearts are sweetly filled with this divine 
principle. — God is love, heaven is love : may our desires 
and conceptions of this be enlarged ! 

During my visit in London, I enjoyed many religious 
advantages ; there I have become acquainted with some 
charming and exemplary women In our society. Indeed, 
there is that uncommon primitive union among them, that 
to know one, is, if you please, to know all: true Chris- 
tian friendship is in delightful exercise. The uncommon 
activity which these sisters of mine manifest, in their daily 
walk to do good both to the souls and bodies of their 
needy fellow-creatures, will, I hope, prove a stimulant to 
me to go and do likewise. Our blessed Lord set us an 
example that we should follow his steps, 
Yours in the truest bonds of 

Christian friendship, 

MARY— 

Dwry— July 23, 1810. 

To live under the divine influence, fo be casting every 
care upon my Almighty Guardian, to trust him in every 



MRS. COOPER. 3i 

difficulty, is happiness, is safety. To record all his good- 
ness would require the burning love of a seraph : for. 
Oh, his love is manifested every hour of my life: and, 
that I feel no more of intensity of affection in return, is 
my grief. 

Divine Spirit ! fill me with love, empty me of self ; bring 
every power, every faculty into subjection to thy will ; 
and the glory aud praise shall be ascribed to thee for 
ever. 

J have made afresh surrender of myself to thee this 
day, O God. 1 am not my own, but thine; and I desire 
to act and live as becomes one who is a temple of the 
living God ; to be ever mindful that ihou seestme-, to 
watch the motives of my conduct, and not to rest satis- 
fied without having my very thoughts and intentions 
brought into subjection to the will of Christ. 

Hammersmith, July 30, 1810. 
My dearest Friend, 

My days of quietness and seclusion seem over. Since 
my sister's marriage 1 have neither been, nor am likely 
to be, the same settled contemplative being I once was. 
How is this, say you? My frie.dsin London and else- 
where, seem to think they have now some claim upon my 
company ; so that as often as I can be spared, their 
entreaties lay me under a sort of obligation to visit them : 
hence much of my time will be occupied. When at home, 
my sphere of occupation is much enlarged, owing to many 
new engagements of a charitable sort which I have felt 
it my duty to undertake and prosecute. — Love to my 
fellow-creatures makes this a pleasing employ, and super- 
sedes what I formerly pursued with much intensity, viz. 
reading and scribbling. Indeed, when I do read, « find 
it necessary, and most pleasing to my taste, to read on 
tlrose subjects that are stamped with immortality : the 
world appears to me such a bubble, and its pursuits such 
a vain chimera, that my whole soul presses forward to a 
more intimate acquaintance with that immortality for 
which it is destined; with that wisdom which will know 
no end ; and that love whioh will glow for ever. . 

But however, my dear Mary Ann, no engagements, 
no new connexions* will ever diminish that true regard 



8£ DIARY O^ 

I feel for you, Our correspondence will, I hope, be 
maintained to our mutual profit 5 and our prayers for 
each other be often offered up. 

Could I but have you for my companion, my incentive 
to all that is good -, how much would my happiness be 
increased! Indeed, I now find the time tediously long 
since we met ; and as to an interview the approaching 
autumn I dare not be sanguine. Come^ if you can ; 
but pray write frequently, and let not absence in any 
degree lessen our true regard for each other : Why 
should it, my beloved friend ? Have we not religion to 
cement the bond of our friendship ? and have we not an 
immortality to perfect and perpetuate it ? What a sti- 
mulant is here, ' In death not to be divided V 

We only live when we live to God. This is life eter- 
nal 5 and if we have the beginnings of it here, we shall 
be prepared to stand firm against the shocks of time : 
nothing shall separate us from the love of God. When 
we look at the world, this fleeting scene ; mark its chan- 
ges, and feel in our inmost soul its vicissitudes, how 
needful, how glorious is this antidote! Let us, my dear 
friend, be making continual advances in a deep acquaint- 
ance with ourselves, and our blessed Redeemer ; be 
growing in that humility which shall make us feel our- 
selves as nothing, and Christ as our all. Our only safe- 
ty consists in a permanent sense of our own weakness, 
and of all our strength being derived from Him, who is 
alone the author and finisher of our faith. 

I have not time to add more, having a great deal to do 
in a little time. We think of going to Bath in October. 
Adieu, my dearest friend. 

Believe me most affectionately and unalterably vours, 

MARY— 



Diary— Aug. 24, 1810. 

I went to London the latter end of the first week of 
the Methodists' Conference ; it continued a fortnight af- 
ter ; my privileges were very great, not only in constant 
opportunities of hearing the preaching ; but in having 









MRS, COOPER. 83 

feoeial intercourse with many of the most eminent preach- 
ers for talents and piety. The work is spreading glori- 
ously: the spirit of hearing was greater than was ever 
before known in London ; three times there was preach- 
ing on the outside of the City Road Chapel, numbers 
not being able to procure a standing within the chapel. 

I find these meaus instrumental in stirring me up to 
seek the Lord fully. Many blessed instances do I know 
and see of individuals who began their Christian course 
early in life, and, through grace, have been enabled to 
persevere and grow in the knowledge and love of God. 
When I consider religion as the mean of restoring the 
lost Image of God to the soul of man, bringing the pow- 
ers and faculties thereof to a divine obedience; regula- 
ting the affections, exalting the motives, purifying the 
acts ; herein I behold means adapted to the end : the 
imparting of true happiness to the subject of this grace. 
It is the beginning of Heaven.— Glory be to God ! all 
this the Saviour of sinners died to procure. It is his 
will that, justified freely by his death, we should be 
sanctified in body, soul, and spirit, by the influence of 
the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, 'the gift of the Father,' 
which he promised should abundantly descend after his 
resurrection. 

How manifestly then is religion a progress, a race, a 
warfare ! repentance is not the work of a day ; every 
failure on our part demands it : watchfulness is the per- 
petual duty of the Christian, that he sin not in his heart 
against the great God. The inquiry at the close of every 
day should be, how far we have advanced in conformity 
to the divine will, and whether a principle of love to the 
Saviour is the actuating motive of our obedience ? 

A remark of Mr. B.'s I wish ever to remember and 
enforce on others l Never to be satisfied with your reli- 
gion till it makes you happy.'' Daily to walk with God. 
How earnestly do I wish it. I am determined in the 
divine strength to press forward with more earnestness, 
to keep within the veil, as a friend urged me to do; to 
have more and more the mind that was in Christ Jesus: 
looking to him for the supply of all my need. 



84 DIARY OF 

August 27. 
If ever I felt an ardent hunger and thirst after righte- 
ousness, it has been the past day. — Last night [ felt 
powerfully convinced that my love to the Redeemer had 
been too cold \ that he, and* the salvation he procured, 
were by far too little the object of my faith. I earnest- 
ly prayed that my whole dependence might be on him. 
This morning' I felt renewed desires after this faith; my 
whole soul was engaged ; and, to be filled with his 
righteousness, to have truth in my inward parts, to be 
saved from all sin ; how did I thirst for this ! how did I 
importune the Father of mercies ! and, Oh ! how intrusive 
seemed every object which at all diverted my soul from 
these meditations. I felt the sacred fire of divine love j 
all worldly talk and desires were intrusive on the calm 
of my soul, and the aspiration of my desires. The ser- 
mon this evening just fell in with the train of my thoughts 
this day on purity of heart. Who shall circumscribe 
the Holy One ? — He who touches the heart by his Spirit, 
may so touch it as to extirpate sin, and save with this 
full salvation. I do believe this. O may I never cease 
to pray for it ; but, under the influence of power as 
boundless as his love, believe and become a partaker of 
the divine nature. 

Aug. 29. 

Yesterday my father kindly took me in his chaise to 
London, to see and bid farewell to dear Mr. and Mrs. 
Moore, who purpose leaving it for Bath on Monday 
next. The ministrations of that good man were so much 
blessed to me, that I should ever think it a privilege to 
love and pray for him. 

In the afternoon I spent a few hours at Dr. Adam 
Clarke's, who kindly interested me with a sight of some 
of his superb eastern manuscripts ; the splendour of some 
of the paintings, of Persian poems, and a Koran, far ex- 
ceed, for life and beauty, any thing I ever beheld. — 
English productions never so much delighted me. In 
one of these MSS. the sun is represented shining in 
gold, with astonishing effect. The Dr. has a superb 
and most extensive collection of books. He afterwards 
took me into his palace, the library 5 which is almost a 



MRS. COOPER. SJ 

museum, and contains a large collection of eastern curi- 
osities, two very fine Mosaic pictures, &c. &c — He has 
in his possession one of the first translations of the Old 
and New Testament in English, written about 1370 ; he 
showed me also the first edition of the Greek Testament, 
in the fifth volume of the Complutensian Polyglott. His 
copy of this rare Polyglott seems to have come out of 
the Royal library at Madrid; it is in high preservation, 
and has the Spanish arms on the back and sides of each 
volume. 

How inexhaustible are these amusements, which are 
rational and consonant with religion ! what fields of 
science to explore, which raise the mind to wonder and 
adoration of the Supreme Being! How charming is di- 
vine philosophy ! Lord, enlighten rny understanding; 
let my views be enlarged of thee, and my desires in- 
crease to know thee and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast 
sent ; that my soul, restored to thy divine Image, may 
have here a commencement of that bliss which will be 
perfected in the regions of endless light and felicity ! 
Amen. 



Sept. 16, 1810. 

This is the twenty-fourth return of my natal day : and. 

! that I could express half that I feel, of the goodness 
of that Being who gave, and has preserved my exist- 
ence amid such countless mercies : all the return I can 
make, is to give myself up wholly to Him, which I de- 
sire this day to do, more than I have ever done before. 
His law do I love ; His commandments are my delight, 
and I desire to have no will but His. Accept the poor 
return, O Lord; and make my heart thy constant abode. 

1 can truly and thankfully acknowledge that the last 
year has been the best and happiest of my life. With 
but little interruption, I have enjoyed a sense of God's 
favour; and have found, an increasing portiou of faith aud 
love : a greater deadness to the world; and a desire to 
live only to the glory of that Saviour, who has called me 
from darkness to light : and, while I feel the thirst which 
I now do, after all the mind that was in Christ, I am 

H 



86 DIARY OF 

certain the Holy Spirit will shed abroad the love in ray 
heart, by which I shall be made to delight in his ways. 
Lord, give me watchfulness and faith to look within the 
veil, that the blessed inheritance, reserved for those that 
love thee, may be discernible to my spiritual sight ; and, 
may I never consider I have attained what is to be at- 
tained, till the very thoughts of my heart are renewed. 
During the last year, I have united myself, I trust, with 
an indissoluble union, to those whom some call the Wes- 
leyan Methodists. As it regards myself, I bless God 
they were ever brought to this village. That they 
preach the pure Gospel, my examination of the subject 
leads me to decide. Happiness is the result of the reli- 
gion they enforce : I have found it so ; and with this 
people I desire to live and die. My improvement, during 
the past year, has not, indeed, been in proportion to my 
opportunities. I have much cause for shame. My af- 
fections have too often been worldly, and my vigilance 
slack in the pursuit of heaven. O may the coining year 
find me more zealously alive, more importunately anx- 
ious in divine things; and, if it should please the Lord, 
to remove me to a sphere wherein different relative du- 
ties may be called into exercise, O that his Spirit may 
illuminate and guide, so that my light may shine; and 
glory to God in the highest, be the effect of my walk 
and conversation. God will direct my paths ; and he 
will not suffer me to err while I look to him, and depend 
upon him for direction. My mind has, on this subject of 
promise, been unusually drawn out; I have felt confi- 
dent of parental guidance, and of my safety beneath 
heavenly direction. This day, O Lord, I record the 
goodness of thy name, the faithfulness of thy word. O 
receive me to the arms of thy protection: guide me by 
thy Spirit ; and, as I this day solemnly dedicate my- 
self to Thee, take Jesus for my Redeemer, and the Holy 
Spirit for my Sanctifier ; so I desire to make no reserve, 
but devote body, soul, and spirit, all that I have and all 
that I am, to that gracious Being who made me, and 
lias the first and only claim. Amen." 



MRS. COOPERi 87 

[About this time she received another society ticket^ 
on the back of which she has written,- -' Panting- after 
a full conformity to the Image of God ; fully convinced, 
that to love him, with all my heart, is my privilege, and 
shall be my prayer. 1 

Towards the latter end of the year 1810, a most im- 
portant era in Miss Hanson's life commenced ; her ac- 
quaintance with Mi*. John Cooper, of Londou, which af- 
terwards terminated in marriage. Every step she took 
in this most momentous business, was marked with pru- 
dent caution, extreme self-diffidence, and the humblest 
dependence on the direction of God. Indeed, the whole 
of this connexion was conducted in such a way as was 
highly creditable to her good sense and piety, and af- 
fords an admirable model of great Christian simplicity, 
and highly spiritualized affection, on a subject in which 
these are rarely consulted, and in which, above all 
others, they are most necessary. She thus introduces 
fhe subject in her Diary; her letters to Mr* C. will ex- 
plain the rest.] 

Sept. 20, 1810. 

" A circumstance within the last fortnight has taken 
place, with which, it is probable, my future happiness is 
essentially connected. Of this I am fully satisfied, that 
it has not been of my own seeking, or foreseeing \ that 
I have thus far acted in the way the circumstances de- 
manded ; and, whatever may be the result, all within 
me now says, c Thy will be done. 1 

I never felt such entire submission: I am impressed 
with awe ; and hardly know how to hope. That God 
in his providence shall be my guide, so far as he mani- 
fests his ways to me, I feel determined. At present it 
appears to bear the impression of his hand : my soul has 
been earnestly and almost incessantly engaged in im- 
portuning his direction. I will follow where he leads. 
I am not my own : into a solemn covenant I have enter- 
ed with Him, to devote body and soul to his service, 
To live to his glory, is the prevailing desire of my heart i 
how impious then, to doubt his care, or question his 
love' 






rfS DIARY OF 

To Mr, John Cooper. 

H- , Sept 15, 1810. 

As your favour of the 10th inst was not received uu- 
til yesterday afternoon, it will sufficiently account for 
any apparent want of attention to your request. 

To our knowledge of each other, so recent and so un- 
expected, we may perhaps have to acknowledge the in- 
terference of a divine Providence ; at the same time, it 
demands the greater deliberation ; and any thing like 
haste, or a speedy decision, in an affair so momentous 
in its consequences, I feel satisfied you will not require. 
I will, however, assure you, that no prior engagement 
will prevent me from giving your proposal that considera- 
tion which I conceive it merits. As I trust we are both 
interested in the love and care of a Heavenly Parent, I 
can cheerfully refer the event to His will, satisfied that 
He will accomplish his own purposes of benignity to- 
wards os. If a more intimate acquaintance would pro- 
mote His glory and our true welfare, we should do in- 
justice to ourselves, and to his revealed will, to doubt His 
especial guidance. 

In religious sentiments I dare believe we should cor- 
dially unite; and this to me would be a most essential 
requisite ; but in a relation so near, so indissoluble, how 
necessary also is an union of disposition, taste, and pur- 
suits. How far we thus assimilate, personal acquaint- 
ance alone can evince. I rejoice that you fill a situation, 
at once so honourable aud useful, in the Methodist So- 
ciety. May grace and wisdom abundantly descend upon 
you. I rejoice also to acknowledge that, although I do 
not owe my first serious convictions to the Society to 
which I now belong, yet to them 1 am indebted, under 
the divine blessing*, for all the real happiness I have de- 
rived from a celestial source. I find that an increasing 
devotion of all I have, and am, to God, is my ardent de- 
sire. If it should please God, more nearly to unite our 
interests, I trust this would be the one grand and mu- 
tual aim of our lives. 

I have a dear friend and father (as he kindly designa- 
ted himself) in Dr. H From a very warm solicitude 
that he expressed for my future welfare, particularly on 
the si#bject which has produced our correspondence, I 



MRS. COOPER, 80 

gave him a promise, that I would avail myself of his pa- 
rental kindness in consulting him on any such occasion. 
I feel, in such an instance, his friendship a privilege, 
and I hope, through him, my father will be made ac- 
quainted with your proposal. How that will be received 
I am at a loss to determine. It will be considered a rob- 
bery ; and in that investigation, which a kind parent na- 
turally makes for a child whose comfortable settlement 
is the main object of his solicitude, you may find him a 
little particular. The motive, to a considerate mind, will 
screen him from undue censure. 

It is probable, Sir, that in the course of the following 
week I shall either see or hear from Dr. H. Let us not, 
however, slacken in our diligence, to implore divine di- 
rection, that the path may be made plain, that the will of 
the Lord may be known, by the concurrence of my pa- 
rents. I feel such a tenderness for them — such a desire 
to honour them, in the choice I make in life, that ytiu 
must expect me to be very implicit in yielding to reason 
able objections. Believe me, with sentiments of Chris- 
tian regard, 

MARY HANSON, 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

London, Oct. 2, 1810. 

My brother J. yesterday made my father acquainted 
with your proposal, who was much pleased at my having 
previously consulted Dr. H. He seemed disposed to 
wait on your friend Mr. B. which it is probable be will 
do to-day. I feel satisfied that my dear father will give 
it a suitable investigation, as he received the first infor- 
mation without those prejudices which would have 
warped his judgment; and therefore I must refer you to 
the latter part of my first letter, as to the line of con- 
duct I should think it my indispensable duty to pursue.. 

You must not expect to see me before I leave tGwn 
Farewell' May the God of peace dwell with you. 

M. H- 

H 2 



90 DIARY OF 

TO THE SAME. 

Get. 6, 1810. 

I find my father has been to Mr. B. but as to the re* 
suit of the interview I am quite iguorant. It is probable 
Mr. B. can inform yon. Allow me, however, to request 
you to defer your intended visit here, till it shall re- 
ceive the sanction of an authority I am bound to respect 
and obey. 

We have committed ourselves to the guidance of un- 
erring- wisdom. It becomes us, therefore, to rest satis- 
fied, until the manifestations of his will are made known. 
In this instance, I have the fullest confidence that 
whatever is the result, our good will be the conse- 
quence. 

♦ M. H. 

To Mr John Cooper. 

Oct .to, isio. 

You so earnestly entreated roe to write a few lines 
ere the close of this week, that although I have nothing' 
new to communicate, I should not feel myself quite 
justified in not complying with your request. 

I think, my dear friend, thus far, we have reason 
to believe, God has heard and is answering our prayers* 

I can most cheerfully refer the future to Him who has 
thus far been mindful of our requests; and as our mu- 
tual aim has been the glory of God, and the best interest 
of our souls, we may still repose under the shadow 
of that omnipotence promised and exerted in our behalf. 
How incalculably great are our privileges; our sup- 
ports and hopes are not derived from beings, frail and 
mutable as ourselves. The Great Eternal is engaged on 
our behalf: He is the source a:.d centre of all that 
soothes the life of man. O that we may drink deeper 
into this knowledge, till we are filled with all the ful- 
ness of God. Religion is the only basis of true friend- 
ship ; the only ground for its perpetuity. What a deso- 
late thing is the human heart without it S My confidence 
in you, and in our acquaintance, has arisen from the as- 
surance I have that the Spirit of God has made your 
heart his dwelling-place; that your best affections are 
devoted to the supreme good; and that if a nearer ac~ 



MRS. COOPER. 91 

quaintance should be allotted us, your attainments in re- 
ligion would be as means of grace to me. 

As a direct communication is opened between you 
and my dear father, I wish you now to follow the dic- 
tates of your own judgment, without consulting" me. 

I have just finished the first part of Dr. Clarke's 
Commentary on the Bible; never did I receive- so much 
pleasure and profit from the perusal of any thing. I in- 
tend giving it, with the marginal references, a second 
perusal. 

Our journey to Bath is still quite unsettled. We are dis- 
appointed of a letter to-day, which we expected, to de- 
cide it. Should I go with my mother, my father will be 
prevented accompanying us : so I shall leave you to ob- 
tain his consent to our correspondence while absent, if 
I go I shall expect to be the bearer of a letter from you 
to our dear friend Mr. M. The thoughts of once again 
seeing him, and hearing him preach, exceedingly recon- 
ciles me to the idea of leaving home. 

M. H, 



DIARY. 

Oct. 23, 1810. 
Still, through the grace of God, I am enabled to bold 
on my way rejoicing. I find religion, inconceivably 
beyond my former apprehensions, a source and spring 
of true happiness and peace ; to which I was a stranger 
till euabled to give my heart up to God, and make his 
service the prevailing disposition and delight of my 
heart. I am sensible that every good desire and action 
is alone from the assistance of the Spirit of God. I find 
that I have no strength independent of Him j but glory 
be to his name, He is at all times accessible, and al- 
ways icaiting to be gracious. To press forward is my 
earnest desire ; to know nothing but ' Jesus Christ and 
him crucified,' to devote every power and faculty of my 
soul to his service, is the ardent wish of my heart. 
What a burning zeal have I sometimes found, to be 
more actively employed in the service of my I/crd. I 



92 DIARY OF 

have often besought of God to make me an instrument 
of more extensive usefulness ; as inactivity in a Chris- 
tian, seems to me so inexcusable. 

In the course of His unerring providence, who is the 
Overseer of our ways ; a path, I little expected, seems 
now opening". That acquaintance which I have before 
hinted at, which I from the first believed from God 9 
and which I most entirely referred to God, appears now 
to be most evidently the work of his providence. The 
mark I earnestly besought him to give, it noiv hears;-— 
the concurrence of my dear parents. No difficulties 
seem now to oppose our friendship. Mr. C. is to be in- 
troduced into our family on Saturday. 

In no occurrence of my life have I ever so decidedly 
traced the hand of God, as in this. This newly acquired 
friend seems to possess all I could desire in the relation 
likely to result from our friendship. Settled and solid 
piety, accompanied by that activity in the cause of reli- 
gion, I so much value; a well-cultivated and good under- 
standing, an amiable and affectionate disposition, with 
the same religious sentiments, and connected with 
the same society as myself. As it is from God, I trust 
it will most eminently lead to Him, and that a union, 
formed on such a basis, will be of especial use to us and 
to the Church of Christ. My ability and sufficiency 
are alone of God. 

Oct. 30, 1810. 

Friday is the day appointed for our going to Bath, -a 
visit which I trust will produce much profit as well as 
pleasure ; transient is that which only delights the eye 
and the imagination : but when connected with this, the 
soul receives supplies of divine nourishment, is made 
happy by the immediate communication of the Fountain 
of all £ood; then peace maintains its position, and every 
thing conspires to make the mind joyful. Watchfulness 
and prayer, how perpetually needful ! For the few last 
days I have been much harassed, and very dull and in- 
sensible to divine things. Last night I earnestly prayed 
for the restoration of my peace; and in some measure 
found it. I dread lukewarmness, and never can know 
peace out of God, who has visited me with so many 
communications of his love. Lord, I won!d make a fresh 



MRS. COOPER. 93 

surrender: let nothing ever interpose betwixt Thee 
and my soul ! I do love Thee above all the world ! — i an- 
ticipate much delight from the company of dear Mr. and 
Mrs. Moore, at Bath; his preaching has often been 
much blessed to me, and his private communications al- 
ways enlivening". I hope, through the blessing of God, 
to acquire fresh strength and vigour in the best thing's, 
at Bath. I may now maintain an authorized correspond 
ence with my friend Mr. C. it has all the earthly ap- 
probation I could desire. The heavenly benediction 
will, I trust, eminently rest upon our acquaintance; 
without this, we shall in vain look for comfort. If God 
design me to fulfil this important relation, I feel assured 
of his heavenly assistance. In knowing whence every 
blessing flows, I can confidently look up to Him who 
will supply my every need. May I have faith to receive, 
and God will bestow ! 

Nov. 2, 1810. 
Accompanied by my mother, and brothers John and 
William, I left Hammersmith for Bath ■ where, after a 
tolerably pleasant journey, we arrived about ten at 
night. 



To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, Nov. 5, 1810. 

It is well that so pleasing a resource is left to separa- 
ted friends, and that one's thoughts can be communicated 
with as much vigour and effect at the distance of a hun- 
dred miles, as of four ; and this surely may be the case, 
when unreserve and sincerity are allowed to exercise 
themselves. This, then, my dear friend, shall be the 
character of our correspondence : distance now forbid- 
ding personal intercourse, we will endeavour to make 
ourselves known to each other by mental discoveries, and 
try to ascertain how far ' thought meeting thought,' the 
result of preconceived opinions gives rational ground of 
hope, that in the closest union no future sources of dis- 
quietude will arise from a native dissimilarity. My 
views en this subject are by no means common-place \ 



$4 DIARY QF 

they are the result of a little thought, and much observa- 
tion. With the ordinary lot of conuubial happiness, I 
confess to you I should not only be dissatisfied, but un- 
happy. From one expression of yours, I am led to be- 
lieve that if this be a romantic notion, you also are under 
its influence. Perhaps as believers in the doctrine of 
Christian perfection, we may be forgiven for placing- our 
standard somewhat higher than the generality of Chris- 
tians; and if in this respect we do but think and aim 
alike, I feel convinced our object will be attained. Ex- 
cuse the length of the preface. 

Through the good providence of God, we had a safe 
and pleasant journey j we reached Bath a very little af- 
ter ten o'clock. On the following day we suited our- 
selves with the apartments which we now occupy, com- 
manding the most interesting and beautiful view of this 
city; having in both front and back rooms, an uninter- 
rupted view of the most luxuriant hills, possessing the 
character of Bath, with houses one above another. To 
the south, we view Beacher Cliff, with its hanging woods, 
th»e highest hill I have seen. The Avon, just beneath 
our window, meanders beautifully along. We are, in- 
deed, thoroughly pleased with the situation. Of Bath, 
I can say but little, being much indisposed on Saturday. 
I am, however, prepared to believe it the most interest- 
ing city, by far, I have ever seen. As you have been 
here, I shall not occupy my paper with any further re- 
marks upon it ; the tendency of our correspondence 
being of a more important nature. 

I found the services of yesterday peculiarly profitable : 
heard Mr. J. preach, morning and evening, and perhaps 
this enjoyment was increased by the persuasion I had 
that you, my dear frieod, had implored this blessing at 
the hand of God for me. What a privilege to have access 
to the throne of God! There, all we need has been pur- 
chased for us by our adorable Redeemer! My mother 
and I called on Mrs. M. in the afternoon. Mr. M. was 
in Frome ; not expected in Bath till Wednesday. I left 
your letter in the hands of Mrs. M. who, I am happy to 
say, is amazingly recovered. They knew through Mrs. 
J. we were expected at Bath, and I suppose have had a 
Flint of something else. Not a word, however, passed 



MRS. COOPBR* 95 

yesterday. I hope to see Mr. M. next Wednesday 
morning, and to hear him preach next Sunday. Yon 
must expect me to be considerably influenced by his 
verdict, pro or con. as L apprehend the nature of your 
intimacy with him has led to a developement of your 
whole soul. The assurances you have given me, my dear 
friend, certainly have weight, because they are from 
a Christian ; were they from a doubtful character in this 
respect, I should regard them as the necessary conse- 
quence of an intimacy with such an object in view. 
They always precede marriage ; but, alas ! how seldom 
are they fulfilled after. Although a former connexion 
may, in some respects, be objectionable to my mind ; 
yet, as in the instance of yourself, it has tended to try 
you, and to call forth domestic qualities ; and, as they 
were of a nature truly worthy of regard ; though, alas! 
for your happiness, but of short continuance ; yet that 
little narrative has done more for you in my estimation, 
than all I have seen and all i have heard besides. Should 
I ever have an equal place in your affections, and find 
you in all respects what I wish, I will answer for myself, 
that you and the domestic circle, round which I shall 
revolve, will be all the world to me ; and all my endea- 
vours will be to promote and maintain that happiness, 
which, by a proper discharge of relative and religious 
duties, is attainable in this life. It gives me much plea- 
sure that you have derived from the same source that [ 
have, profitable pleasure in reading. How many hours 
of rational amusement have I enjoyed in this way : how 
often, when I knew nothing of the peace resulting from 
acceptance with God, have the little domestic vexations 
I have met with, been borne with patience, from the idea 
that in my own closet, with my books, I should forget 
my troubles; and by the relations of days of yore, find 
my heart and imagination fully occupied. How oftea 
did I regard with pity, those who knew no happiness, 
independent of company and the ball-room. These were 
days of enjoyment: but, O my dear friend, of how low 
and changeable a nature, compared with that peace 
which passeth all understanding! which, through the in- 
finite love and grace of God, I have since possessed, 
JVly brother requests me to walk with him. Adieu. I 
am going to ascend the heights to the Crescents, 



96 DIARY OJb 

Farewell : may the God of love and peace dwell with 
you. How is your health ? Do you in general enjoy 
good health ? My mother thinks yoa look so delicate, 
that I have had fears. 

Believe me your very affectionate friend, 

MARY — ~- . 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, Nov. 12, 1810. 

Indeed, my dear friend, I anticipated, and received 
more pleasure from your last kind letter, than from any 
of the preceding ones. The contents were altogether 
congenial to my mind. My hopes and expectations are 
now alive to the solid happiness reserved for us, in the 
prosecution of that acquaintance, so obviously from the 
Father of all good. The conviction of this, increases 
upon me by reflection and prayer. — I feel, indeed, no 
doubt, that if it shall please God to unite us in nearer 
bonds, it will be the mean of more closely uniting each 
of us to himself. It is true, indeed, my deficiencies are 
very great, far greater than you apprehend ; but, ' help 
being laid upon One that is mighty,' I feel full of blissful 
confidence, that the race I have begun, I shall be enabled 
to run with increasing vigour, with the expectation of 
comprehending more and more, by happy experience^ 
the heights and depths of love divine. 

I regard true religion as the only source of happiness ; 
and that is an effect produced in proportion to the entire 
surrender we make of our hearts, and the indwelling of 
the Holy Spirit. O my dear friend, may this be our 
daily aim and walk through life. Our blessed Saviour, 
the standard of our imitation, who had the happiness of 
his creatures only in view, prescribed nothing but what 
here has that tendency. If we live under the influence 
of these hopes and endeavours, I fear not the fulfil- 
ment of my most sanguine expectations. Love to God 
is the source of every Christian excellence ; and surely 
it was in the exercise of providential love, that we were 
brought to the communication of this oneness of opinion. 

By this time, I apprehend Mr. M. has anwered your 
letter, the contents of which, I find imparted no ordina- 
ry pleasure. For on the receipt of it, he, with his amia- 



I 



MRS. COOPER. 97 

bie wife, knelt down and implored the blessing' of hea- 
ven upon us. — How much I felt indebted for this pious 
instance of their regard ! Yesterday, under Mr. M.'s 
preaching*, I found a renewal of that benefit, I invaria- 
bly experienced at H. from his ministry. — The blessed 
man was quite alive ; and every sentence reached my 
heart. In the morning- he preached from Hab. iii. 2. 
4 O Lord, revive thy work I' In the evening* from John 
iii. 7. ' Marvel not that I said unto you, Ye must be born 
again.' I hope long 1 , and ever, to feel the effects of these 
sermons ; my strength is renewed ; and, to be more fill- 
ed with the Holy Spirit, is at once my privilege and 
prayer. The chapel was crowded in the evening. Bath 
is the very place for Mr. M.'s abilities to be appreciated ; 
and, I feel certain, his labours will be much blessed. I 
expect him -to call here this morning. 

What privileges, my dear friend, we have as Method- 
ists! I find this more and more. Christian fellowship 
being such a powerful mean of abstracting us from the 
world, and making us alive to the collective, as well as 
individual privileges of Christians. May every talent 
entrusted to us be improved a hundred fold ! 

I have just been interrupted by a visit from Mr. J. as 
I was alone, I had the pleasure of a serious, and inter- 
esting conversation with him. 

And so you are going into Lancashire? Be careful of 
yourself, and do not trifle with colds: I hope you will 

have returned, before we shall get back to H . 

Write punctually, and do not let me suffer from your 
journeying. Our continuance here is quite uncertain. 1 
hardly think it will be in the whole a month. 

We went to Bristol and Clifton last Thursday, and had 
quite a wet day for our excursion ; nevertheless, I weut 
to see the beautiful St. Vincent's Rocks. Such a lovely 
spot ! We must visit it together. 

My brother J. has this morning left us. He asked me 
if 1 had any message } it is probable he will call on you. 
You are received quite with cordiality by my brothers 5 
and, I believe, by all. 

May this friendship, which is thus marked by the ap- 
probation of earth and heaven, be a continual source of 
thankfulness to each of us. May our Christian walk be 
I 



OS DIARY OF 

marked with all that can adorn our profession: and Dr 
Clarke's description* of the original institution, and its 
everlasting design, be realized to us. 

What more shall I say, than express my hope and con- 
fidence, that God will enable us to be what we desire. 
That we may live to his glory, and be continually press- 
ing after all that holiness, which shall sanctify us 
throughout, in body, soul, and spirit. Animating hopes ! 
To this God of love I commend you, and remain yours 5 
most affectionately, M. H. 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, Nov. 19, 1810. 

As correspondents, my dear friend, we seem to ap- 
prove of each other very well. I trust the same coinci- 
dents will manifest themselves in all we do ; and, that a 
growing similarity will be the result of a daily Christian 
walk. You have had painful experience of the uncer- 
tain tenure of earthly blessings ;f it is a lesson we shall 
all learn ; i the spider's most attenuated thread, is cord, 
is cable, to man's slender tie, on earthly bliss.' Unless 
things of heavenly substance engross our best affections, 
Our Father, who is in heaven, will remind us, that he is 
a jealous God. Thus, watching unto prayer must be our 
constant bent of mind — O, how needful! Our dear 
friend, Mr. M. on Saturday, when I saw him, desired me 
to present his love to you, and say, c You are now hi 
danger, that you have need of much watchfulness.' Can 
you interpret his meaning? he addressed me to the same 
effect. Our intimacy began well: for my own part, 1 
never in any instance felt such an entire surrender of 
my own will, nor so ardent a desire that God only might 
be glorified : and, when at one time a dark cloud hover 
ed over the opening prospect, which I could not at all 
penetrate, a sense of the omnipotence of that Being, 
who was my hope and confidence, dissipated all doubt 
from my mind. I knew he would accomplish his own 
designs. O, the happiness of having the Almighty Je- 

* Commentary on Genesis, ?hap. ii 

t Alluding to Mr. C.'s former wife, a very amiable and excellent 
woman, who died about twelve months after their marriage. 



MRS. COOPER. yy 

hovah tor our friend ! May our love and confidence in 
him increase. 

My sister expresses herself as quite delighted with 
your dear little girl. I am rejoiced to find that there is 
already the bud of so much excellence, ' a quickness of 
apprehension, united to great sweetness of temper.' I 
am pleased that you are to have the credit of rationality ;, 
in what is already couspicuous in your instructions of 
the little dear. 1 much desire to see her. 

M. H. 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, Nov. 26, 1810. 

This will, I hope, find you safely restored to the enjoy- 
ment of your own fire-side ; where a new Ebenezer of 
praise has, no doubt, been erected to that God, who, by 
the guardian influence of his angels, may have defended 
you from all evil. To owe protection to his lore, is to 
have every blessing blessed. You ask for a long letter 3 
I will endeavour not to disappoint you, but as I am much 
indisposed, having a sore throat, and rather an increas- 
ing degree of fever, you will excuse me if necessity 
should compel me to abandon my present intention \ in- 
deed, there is so intimate a union between our corporeal 
and mental powers, that that which gives us sensibility 
of suffering, suffers also. Should I be a little gloomy, 
you will know to what cause to impute it. It is a very 
stormy day too *, perhaps the vapours, which must con- 
dense the atmosphere, may unite their influence to cloud 
my mind 5 and yet peace, the kind boon of heaven, does 
pervade my spirit. It is often assailed, sometimes power- 
fully, by outward causes : but the prospect of unclouded 
bliss, like the sun as yet beneath the horizon, cheers 
me in this world. 



I cannot suppose that any thing can give me real 
pleasure that is not connected with religion. My under- 
standing (as well as affections) is so powerfully convin- 
ced of its testimony, that I cleave to it as to a strong hold* 
and firmly believe our happiness keeps pace with o\n 



IsOO DIARY OF 

holiness. At times I feel a little overpowered with the 
responsibility which attaches itself to my future charac- 
ter. You, my dear friend, have expectations ioo highly 
raised; 1 must check you, as I would some others of my 
too partial friends. 

I was much affected in hearing 1 of the approaching- dis- 
solution of your pious friend. Though, indeed, the 
death-bed of such aman cannot produce unmixed sorrow ; 
angels waiting to conduct the happy spirit to the sight 
of those joys, which so long had been beheld as through 
a glass darkly. I have ceased to entertain curious spe- 
culations on the nature and employments of the heavenly 
world. My own experience tells me, that to be for ever 
free from sin, to know no interruption to a perfect love 
to God, will be heaven tome : I can anticipate no higher. 
I enjoyed a sweet foretaste of this one morning last week ^ 
and sunk deeper into my own nothingness, and had 
fuller views of Christian holiness, than I ever had before. 

my dear friend, ' my willing soul would stay in such a 
frame as this 5' but, alas ! its continuance is too short 5 
and I think my volatile nature will ever oppose itself to 
those per manetit enjoyments : yet, even a glimpse should 
be matter of earnest thankfulness. It proves such a 
cordial ; and even the recollection of it, excites the hope 
that these c angel visits, few and far between,' may here- 
after prove more frequent and more permanent. 

I heard Mr. M. preach twice yesterday. In the morn- 
ing I think he made one of the greatest and deepest sermons 

1 ever heard, from John vii.9, 10. relative to the interces- 
sion of Christ, and the salvation of those whom the Father 
gave him. You know this is one of the strongest holds of 
our opponents, the Calvinists. Our view of the subject he 
admirably, and, I think, unanswerably, defeuded. It was 
a sermon "i should much like to possess ; and I intend to 
ask the favour of Mr. M. to write me a general view of 
that part of the subject. 

The sun now shines ; aud I feel better than I did when 
1 began, less inconvenience from my throat. I however 
fear this letter will not much interest you ; but you know 
when a correspondence is undertaken, it is for c better 
and for worse;' and while it is a faithful portraiture oi 
the mind, the effects of clouds, as well as sunshine, wiH 



MRS. COOPER. 10 i 

be visible. This being" a state of trial, our happiness 
here will have an alloy : what need of Christian armour, 
if we were never to be assailed by foes? While we follow 
on to know the Lord, victory is certain, and heaven our 
sure reversion. May we thus prove excitements to each 
other, and ' square our useful lives below, by reason 
and by grace.' 



M. H. 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, Dec. 3, 1810. 

I am willing* to believe, my dear friend, that the corres 
pon^enceour separation has occasioned, has not only been 
a pleasure, but has tended to enlarge our knowledge of 
each other ; and to lay open future probable sources of 
reciprocal happiness, should it please God so to per- 
petuate our friendship. * True love strikes root in rea- 
son ;* and certainly where the understanding is suffered 
to lie dormant, and the affections alone act and are su- 
preme, such an attachment would be exposed to ten 
thousand variations ; and at length, perhaps, to an al- 
most total extinction. May I not venture to believe that 
an assimilation in understanding, sentiments, and aims, 
exists between us; and that the love of God will prove 
an indissoluble bond to our union. Earthly relations, of 
course, cease in heaven ; but I believe the most 
purified affections will subsist among all the re- 
deemed, and that ' we shall know even as we are known.' 
This state, my dear friend, is but the infancy of our be- 
ing. In reference to this idea, let us live and act, and 
anticipate full draughts of that bliss, which here we only 
taste. 

Should I ever fall short of the expectations my letters 

have raised in your mind, I will give you leave to advert 

to them, and reprove me thus ; neither will I ever rebel 

against your lordly prerogative, while you render the 

12 



102 DIARY OF 

yoke easy by the fulfilment of your part of the story 
The apostolic exhortations will furnish us with our orders* 
which are never given without arms, 

Need I tell you that I consider our correspondence of 
the most confidential nature ; its avowed object has ex- 
cited a freedom in my remarks, which the sincerity we 
both professed to adopt on the outset, has justified. As 
it is now drawing to a close, I wish you to give a direct 
answer to both my last letters, and tell me honestly 
whether you have an unabated and entire confidence that 
I shall possess as large a share of your affections as your 
much-loved Margaret? This is indispensable to your 
happiness and mine ; and^ perhaps, it shall be the last 
time I will ever teaze you with the interrogation. Much 
less would have been said on the subject, had I not a 
fixed aversion to the idea of plunging myself into the va- 
ried and i:ultiplied cares and anxieties of a married life, 
without the most positive expectation of possessing the 
entire confidence and affections of him to whom I should 
so awfully entrust my future all. Indeed I have frequent 
misgiviugs of heart, and I am so locally attached to 
H— — , that 1 wonder I ever listened to a proposal which 
could personally alineate me from it. If it be of God^ 
it shall be for good : — and this is my confidence. 

It remains for you, my dear friend, to close our Bath 
correspondence. I shall expect a long letter, in grati- 
tude for receiving two. 

I have enjoyed Bath upon the whole very much; and 
shall feel considerable regret in leaving some kind friends. 
I trust I have been making some advances in the divine 
life. I certainly feel more of my deficiencies, and more 
divine power has attended my meditations on the Scrip- 
tures; but, O how many unprofitable hours have I spent ? 
indeed, there is so much idleness consequent on visiting 
these places, that my conscience has often reproached 
me for it. 

Last Friday I took a most delightful walk on the backs 
of a canal, which runs parallel with the river Avon 
The uncommon beauty of the scenery, heightened by 
the loveliness of the day, urged me on to a considerable 
extent I had so much exceeded my ordinary bounds 
of a walk, that when I reached home I was completely 



MRS. C0OPE&. 103 

exhausted with fatigue. I walked fast, without any in- 
termission, for three hours, for which temerity 1 was 
dose prisoner on Saturday, almost lamed with fatigue. 
My object was to reach a j*lace I had heard of, where 
the canal crosses the river Avon, rather a curiosity s 
which I did not accomplish. I have had some sweet 
solitary walks. I hope you are an admirer of the works 
of nature ; and do not despise occasional enthusiastic 
raptures in the contemplation of His works, in the least 
of which the Deity is so conspicuous : I am sure you do 
not. You enjoy poetry too. I have so long received plea- 
sure from the resources of my own mind, and am so en- 
tirely out of debt to external sources of amusement, that 
I am almost miserly in cherishing the channels through 
which these silent, unobserved enjoyments have flowed. 
How sublimity is heightened, my dear friend, when we 
can c lift to heaven an unpresumptuous eye, and smiling, 
say, My Father made them all. 1 As a friend said to me, 
the other day, we can never truly bless God for our ere- 
utlon, till we can for our redemption. Enabled to do this, 
my dear friend, our lives should be a tribute of praise.-' 

M. H. 

[The following Letter, written to her father, in reference 
to this subject, is at once a fine proof of her good sense, 
deep piety, and profound filial respect and gratitude.] 

Bath, Dec. 3, 1810. 
My very dear father, 
a Your truly kind and invaluable letter of yesterday 
demands an early acknowledgment. I cannot express the- 
half of what I felt on reading its interesting contents — - 
My sensations were those of mingled love and gratitude 
for so unexpected a proof of your affection — Had you, 
in any of your previous letters, expressed a wish to hear 
from me, I should certainly have complied with it, 
though I could not but feel a degree of backwardness hi 
adverting to a subject you have so kindly noticed. 



104 DIARY OF 

Home now begins to wear a desirable aspect -, where, 
i|poa the whole, my dear mother would rather embrace 
you thau subject you to the fatigue of so long a journey 
for the pleasure of spending only a (ew days here— On 
Saturday morning, if it please God, we hope to see you : 
— and jn a few weeks I trust it will be apparent that my 
mother's health has been obviously bene6ted by the 
change of air aud waters, — the good effects of which, I 
believe, are seldom immediately discernible. 

I am much concerned to find, my dearest father, that 
you continue so very lame, but truly thankful that your 
now almost necessary confinement at St. James's 
has been so much mitigated by the solid satisfaction aris- 
ing- from an experimental acquaintance with divine 
truth — It is consolatory to believe we can be engaged in 
no conflict, however severe, in which our spiritual wea- 
pons are not fully adequate to the conquest. — It is when 
we trust to our own strength that the world obtains the 
victory.— .1 most sincerely wish that circumstances may 
allow of your losing vo opportunity of hearing dear Mr. 
Fry, for whose ministerial labours, we, as a family, have 
so much cause of thankfulness. 

I never had the pleasure of receiving but one letter 
from my dear father, besides the one I am now acknow- 
ledging ; aud I feel emotions of gratitude to God in con- 
trasting the period in which that was written with the 
present.— At that time you, with parental tenderness, 
were warning me against that gaiety of disposition I 
then manifested, and those antichristian pursuits after 
which I was so eager. 

To divine grace alone am I indeted for that entire al- 
teration of hopes and aims, and for that blessed foretaste 
I often enjoy, of the rest which in heaven remains for me. 
— May you and I, my dearest father, feel more and n.ore, 
that our Redeemer has purchased for us sanctification 
as well as justification $ and that the implantation of a 
new nature makes his service our delight and perfect 
freedom. 

1 hope I feel truly grateful for that kind interest you 
manifest in regard to my future prospects, arising fro u a 
connexion, which, if sealed with a solemn perpetuity, 
will remove me from under the eye and roof of my dear 



MRS. COOPER. 1Q5 

^jarents, of whose kind and fostering care I shall have so 
many pleasing recollections. — My dear father, I feel the 
importance of the step ; but I feel also a hope bordering; 
on confidence, that that gracious Being, who overrules 
all events, and has expressly promised to guide those 
who trust in him, has, in this instance, manifested his 
will. I believe too there is every rational ground to ex- 
pect domestic comfort. 



New relations will, I hope, never alienate my affec- 
tions from old ones. — For your many prayers I feel in- 
expressibly grateful ; and have long acted on the idea, 
that the best return I can make is by constantly remem- 
bering my father at the same throne of mercy. 
Believe me, my very dear father. 
Your most dutiful and affectionate daughter, 

MARY HANSON. 



DIARY. 

Dec. 7. 

Indeed I shall have much reason to recall to mind my 
visit to Bath ; it has been, upon the whole, very profita- 
ble to me. Added to the benefit I have found in divine 
ordinances, the letters of my dear friend have much 
tended to excite me to seek, with him, a full salvation. 

Our acquaintance is from God : I feel it so, more and 
more: with this impression can I, in a spiritual sense, 
expect too much, or feel too thankful ? Emotions of re- 
gret I shall feel in leaving Bath. In departing from a 
place where pleasure has been received ; the uncertainty 
-of ever more beholding it, casts a mournful emotion 
over the souk A stray tear will flow down the cheek; 
this I have always found; aud there are sensibilities of 
the soul, which I would not forego for all the stoical firm= 



1(X> DIARY OF 

ness in the world. The passions, when they are refined 
and sanctified by true religion, are sources of pure delight 

Christmas Day, 1810. 

The return of this day interests me much in a two- fold 
point of view ; 1. as the season in which the most extra- 
ordinary event which ever took place in this world, is 
celebrated. The nativity of the God-Man, is the birth 
of every hope fallen nature could have, of a restoration 
to the lost favour and image of the Deity. A contri- 
vance of satisfying the divine justice, which could alone 
originate in the divine mind. By it we have entrance 
into the Holy of Holies; and the gates of heaven are 
thrown open, to receive all who in truth receive this in- 
carnate Saviour into their hearts. 

As a second motive, ought I not to hold the return of 
this day in solemn and grateful remembrance ? on the past 
one, 1809, having received a sweet manifestation of my 
interest in the favour of God ; when all my doubts and 
fears were dissolved, and my soul swallowed up in de- 
votion and aspirations after God. Blessed be God, the 
loitness he gave still remains ; and on this day 1 gratefully 
record, that my desires are greater than ever, to be alto- 
gether the Lord's. 'Tis true, alas ! my attainments bear 
no proportion to my privileges ; and but for the infinite 
merits of that atonement Jesus made, I should have just 
cause to fear rejection from the favour of God. But he 
knows my frame, and remembers I am but dust ; and he 
accepts my sincere desires to be his, and my ardent long- 
ings after full conformity to the divine image : for this 
end I surrender myself this day; and, feeling my utter 
dependence on divine aid, and my native helplessness, 
1 looking unto Jesus,' 1 trust I shall become more than 
conqueror over all my foes. The last night was so exceed- 
ingly tempestuous, that I could not sleep : but never 
did I find wakefulness so profitable; never were my noc- 
turnal meditations so sweet. While the raging tempest 
made me to hear and feel the Deity abroad, an ■' contem- 
plate his judgments which are now so evidently manifest- 
ed in the earth; I could not help contrasting the thunder 
of his power, with the Babe in Bethlehem. It was by the 
Word all things were made : ' and the Word became- 






MRS. COOPER. 107 

flesh, and dwelt among us.' He made the world by his 
word, and man by his breath ; yet to redeem him he must 
leave the Heaven of heavens, assume our nature, and in 
that nature bleed ! thence I took a survey of the world ; 
of the negligence and general indifference to this stu- 
pendous fact : men closing their eyes to this light, and 
wantonly choosing that place, where hope never comes. 
That God should, in indignation, pour out the vials of his 
wrath against the children of men, who do despite to the 
precious blood of Christ, I marvelled not ; but rather felt 
amazed at the long-suffering of God. Those who will 
not listen to the still small voice of his mercy, may ex- 
pect to hear and bear the thunder of his wrath. 

But when I looked on myself, and found in my heart a 
humble hope that I was accepted through this Incarna- 
tion : when I could appeal to the Searcher of hearts, and 
say, ' Thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I 
love thee.' O then, how little to be dreaded, is all that 
this earth can do ? what is its power contrasted with 
His, * who taketh up the isles as a little thing,' and has 
engaged himself in my behalf? 

Jan. 22, 1811. 
Towards the close of last month I went to London 5 
and only returned here about a week ago. In no other 
place do I ever feel at home to write ; so that I have, by 
my absence, missed recording some sweet and profita- 
ble seasons I enjoyed when in town. At the commence- 
ment of this new year, I joyfully renewed my covenant 
with God; and was earnest in supplicating his grace to 
enable me to walk more closely, more usefully, this year, 
(should I be spared,) than the last. It seems indeed pro- 
bable, that a more enlarged sphere of activity will, ere 
long, be opened for me. That gracious Being whose I 
am, will, I doubt not, afford me grace to do his will. 
At the renewal of the covenant I was at Queen-Street 
chapel : at this most solemn and obligatory ordinance I 
found the presence of God. The Lord's Supper was af- 
ter administered, of which I and my dearest friend at 
once partook. To be loved by one so decidedly the 
Lord's is an unlooked-for providence ; and I have fre- 
quently, on a review of the various circumstances leading 
to .our present interesting intimacy, been constrained to 



108 DIARY OF 

acknowledge and bless the hand of God y at times, when 
I have hesitated to do this, I believe the instigation was 
from Satan 5 for I have invariably found, that when my 
mind has been most occupied with religion, I have loved 
and regarded my friend the most ; and have anticipated 
with delight the probability of our being helps to each 
other in the way to heaven. Every succeeding interview 
increases my value for his character : and my couviction, 
4hat he who numbers the hairs of our heads, appointed 
us for each other. 

I enjoyed last Sabbath exceedingly ; Mr. Griffith 
preached ; and it was much blessed to my soul : I went in 
expectation that it would be so. 

April 20, 1811. 

Having spent the chief part of the winter in town, at 
my sister's, in consequence of her confinement, I have 
been taken off my usual and settled plan of occasionally 
writing the state of my mind. I somewhat regret it, 
Laving found it a very profitable and interesting record 
of my experience. Ten thousand blessings that' I have 
in this instance received, have, I trust, made an indeli- 
ble record in my memory. 

A present God, a satisfying portion, and desires more 
ardent to be altogether the Lord's, to be growing up into 
his likeness, these have indeed been prominent desires 
and endeavours, though occasionally clouded over with 
unbelief, and obstructed by lukewarmness. * He knows 
my infirmities, and remembers I am but dust ' I have, at 
times, had delightful anticipations of heaven ; of enjoying 
there a full draught of that living water of which 1 have 
just had a taste \ and of having a growing love and know- 
ledge throughout eternity. 

I have found particular benefit from a practice sug- 
gested by my dear C. of reading the same chapter with 
him daily. We began (Jan. 26.) the Gospel of St. Mat- 
thew ; and selected one verse, in writing for our day's 
meditation This I have found very profitable, though 
too often careless in the observance of it. In reading 
this blessed book on my knees, and with a simple desire 
of having my eyes' opened by the Spirit of God, to dis- 
cover and impress its important contents on my heart, I 



MRS. COOPER. 109' 

nave found it sweeter to my taste than honey, and couhf 
say with David, 6 In thy tvord do I delight.' I find need 
of watching against formality in it, and suffering it to 
degenerate into mere custom. 

In this and our mutual engagement, at ten o'clock, to 
pray for each other, the Lord has often blessed our souls, 
O ! for more importunity, for more wrestling for ' all the 
mind that was in Christ Jesus.' 

The Lord's Supper was much blessed to me last Sab* 
bath. I found at the altar the spirit of self-dedication, 
and of importunity, for poverty of spirit and purity of 
heart. I bless God that I always feel restless and un- 
easy when my soul is not alive to him. 

To-morrow we expect Dr. Clarke here; and I look 
forward with hope of receiving much blessing ; his 
preaching having, invariably, been made so very useful 
to rne. 

April 25,-1811.- 
I was much profited by Dr. Clarke's sermon last Sun- 
day morning, from 1 John v. 11, 13, He dwelt much on 
the life of God in the soul, through the influence of 
Jesus Christ; whose immediate energy, he said, is 
as necessary to support the spiritual life, as the pow- 
er of God, in whom we live, move, and have our being, 
is to the support and continuance of our natural life. 
That which, before the fall, constituted the happiness of 
Adam — union with God ; is as essential now as ever, 
and must be restored by the life of Christ within us. As 
the body cannot exist without the soul, neither can the 
life divine, without Christ. It is He who gives the prin- 
ciple of life, and maintains it : and His influence is as ne- 
cessary to maintain the spiritual life of the soul, as it is 
to preserve the being and harmony of the creation. He 
spoke nuch on the witness of the Spirit, as essential to 
the peace and stability of the Christian; and as the only 
means of precluding tormenting doubts and fears. 

The Doctor met the Society after evening preaching, 
in whi cb he ^aid many very forcible and persuasive things ; 
and frcr which 1 derived fresh vigour, and renewed de- 
termination to redouble my diligence in the heavenly- 
race. How deeply do I feci myself indebted to God 
for so much blessing my union with the Methodists. I 

K 



HO DIARY OF 

have enjoyed this day, much love to God, and delight itr 
contemplating' his name and nature, and in anticipating 
that ' glory which no period knows.' I have read ray 
title clear, and long for that day when this mortal shall 
have put on immortality ; and when my soul shall < soav 
without bound, without consuming glow.' 

O blessed Fountain of love ! fill my heart more with 
this divine principle ; sink me lower in the depths of hu- 
mility, and let me sit at the feet of Jesus and learn of 
him. Enlarge my soul, that I may better contemplate 
Thy glory ; and may I prove myself Thy child, by bear- 
ing a resemblance to 'thee, my Heavenly Father! 

April 30, 1811. 

* Thou knowest all things, Thou knowest that I love 
Thee,' and that T desire, above every thing this world 
affords, to have the constant testimony that I walk so as 
to please Thee. 

To have all my thoughts, words and works, sanctified 
to Thee; to feel the living principle of faith, and a 
habitual converse with spiritual and unseen things, di- 
vesting" my mind of earthly prejudices and mere earthly 
affections, hew great a blessing! OThou, who hast in- 
spired these desires, aad excited these ardent longings 
for the cocstaut indwelling of the Holy Spirit; answer 
me, according to thy word : Thy word, which is truth 
itself; immutable as Thy glory : eternal as Thy dura- 
tion () that on it my soul may repose. 

When Thy love refreshes my spirit, and my eye* 
overflow with tears of joy in the conviction that Thou- 
art mine, how poor and how contemptible are all earth- 
born <oys ! When the soul feels its freedom, and exults- in 
its immortality ; the world and Satan tempt in vain. I 
feel inexpressibly thankful to that Being, who is the Au- 
thor cf all the happiness I enjoy; that He continues to 
manifest himself in such lovely, endearing characters 
to my soul. And never did I feel, more than I do at 
this time, the importance and beauty of religion. 

T have no enjoyment in whatever tends to divert 
my mind from th^se contemplalions. When I read, it 
must be on subjects connected with what I most love — 
God, in nature, providence, and grace; an endless scope 



MRS. COOPER. 1 1 1 

for reading and meditation! Yes, I have seen a glimpse 
of His glory, whom my soul lovetb. For that purity of 
heart, which God only can bestow, shall be my never- 
ceasing prayer. 

* O could I lose myself in Thee, 

Thy depth of mercy prove, 
Thou vast unfathomable sea 
Of inexhausted love.* 

May 1,1811. 
The more I know of my own heart, the more deeply 
I feel the want of humility. When this heavenly grace 
lias taken deep root in my soul, the fruits of the Spirit 
will grow in larger abundance upon it. It is for want 
of this, that when my opinions are controverted, and my 
judgment called in question, that I feel an inicard im- 
patience, though spared the outward expression of it; 
and as I have to do with a God who searches the heart, 
so I would be as vigilant over the inward motions of 
corruption, as of my exterior deportment. 1 want in- 
ward holiness — 

* A heart in every thought renewed, 
A copy, Lord, of Thine. ' 

My religion must be visible by its effects-, not by parade 
and show, but by humility of soul, meekness of spirit, 
purity of intention. Therefore religion must be, with me, 
the work of every moment. 

This, indeed, will tend rather to capacitate me for the 
proper fulfilment of all my lawful avocations ; not, as 
some falsely say, unfit the mind for the duties of life. 
God demands a reasonable service 5 and, while he calls 
to diligence in business, he will bestow grace to produce 
fervency of spirit. O God, raise me from the ruins of 
the fall ! I only live when I live to Thy glory. I only 
am happy when I can call Thee, mine -, and exult in the 
prospect of enjoying Thee for ever. I have ever found 
Thee faithful ; I never sought Thee with my whole heart, 
without being answered as by fire. O let that fire de- 
scend and consume all my sins, that those enemies of my 



112 DIARY OF 

Lord may have no place in me. I cannot question that 
love which moved Thee to leave the abodes of glory, and 
to veil thyself in suffering humanity for me; nor that 
Omnipotence which said, < Let there be light, and there 
was light.' Who then shall limit the Holy One of Is- 
rael? With Thee, all things are possible; even the full 
restoration of the lost image of God in my soul. 

May 4. 

I have lately been led to reflect much on the advan^ 
tage of knowledge in religion : by this, I mean not only 
jan acquaintance with its doctrines, but a well digested 
view of its gradual developement, from the first promise 
given to Adam, till Jesus Christ; made plainer and 
plainer as it flowed down the river of time : with a com- 
parison of this religion, with all the rest that have ever 
appeared, and swayed the hearts and judgments of men. 
In addition to this, when we regard its adaptation to sup-? 
ply our wants, to impart food to that immortal principle 
within us 5 ever craving for what the earth cannot give, 
Religion liberally opens her treasures, and gives the ex- 
pectant soul the hope and promise, that even here she 
may be ' filled with all the fulness of God.' 

I must differ from an opinion I have frequently heard 
expressed, and once adopted, that the poor (that is, the 
ignorant) enjoy religion most. That many of them do 
enjoy it in a blessed degree, my own observations con- 
firm; and, that the peculiar circumstances of many call 
more for the simple exercise of faith, for the supply of 
their daily wants, I also believe; and many happy proofs 
are recorded in their experience of God's fulfilling his 
promises in this respect. But the believer, with au im- 
proved understanding and a correct judgment, who, at 
the same time, receives the kingdom of God as a little 
chile, with all that simplicity so essentially connected 
with genuine conversion ; while he maintains this child- 
like spirit, and has a growing enlargement of mind, 
consequent upon his frequent communion with God, and 
his nature and his works. — This is, in my apprehension, 
the happiest Christian ; and in proportion as he regards 
religion as the one thing necessary to his happiness, and 
i$ jealous over every other enjoyment, in which it is not 



MRS. COOPER. 113 

the principal ingredient, so will be his stability* And 
thus his advances will be marked with its genuine cha- 
racters. 

Religion is addressed to the judgment, as well as to 
the heart ; it should be interwoven with all our moral 
perceptions ; and, while it lays claim to the affections, it 
should have the hearty concurrence of the understand- 
ing. This I wish to enforce upon myself; and to look 
well how far these observations incorporate with my real 
state and present experience. 

To a want of this I cannot but impute the many fail- 
ures in the religious life, which so frequently occur, of 
persons, who for a while were warm and zealous, and 
bidding fair for usefulness, suddenly relaxing in their 
energy, aud becoming tiphers, if they outwardly con- 
tinue professors in the Church of Christ. 

Those who Took for eminence in any science, use the 
means for becoming eminent; and all their exertions 
tend towards the promotion of their object : — so in the 
Christian life. To be what God calls us to be, we must 
use diligence, and let it be the paramount desire of our 
whole lives. 

May 11. 

Of what importance is experience in religion ! In every 
brauch of science it is considered a necessary qualifica- 
tion. As to a physician, or an artist without experience, 
the advice of the one would be receive!) with little confi- 
dence, and the productions of the other would be regarded 
with suspicion. Eminence, the result of experience, would 
be expected in neither. 

What then is religion without it? How can the pro- 
mises be received or applied, if the affections be not in 
exercise? and surely, love to God must excite emotions, 
near in resemblance and effect, to those we feel towards 
a beloved earthly object. The mind delights to dwell on 
an image which occupies the heart. How solicitous to 
please; — how fearful to offend; — how prompt to active 
proofs of the sincerity of its profession : with what impa- 
tience and indignation are slanders and evil-speaking 
borne, towards the absent object of our affection. 
K2 



114? DIARY OF 

By analogy then, would I try how far my love to the 
Supreme Good, will bear this test. Alas ! tbe proofs are 
faint and feeble, though sincere. O, for more lore, is 
my constant prayer. Religion, without experience, is 
like the body without the soul; like the moon, which 
imparts light, but no heat. The plants engendered by the 
solar ray, would droop and die, were they forsaken by 
its influence, and left to Hie ccld, cheerless light of the 
pale luminary. So, were I to relapse into that state of 
mere speculative belief, or to the unassisted powers of 
my own reason, which (after having experienced some- 
thing of the power of religion) I once fell into ; so would 
these affections which now, in some degree, though faint- 
ly glow Trith love to God, be frozen into indifference, 
* Jf Thou withdraw, 'tis night.' 

O Sun of Righteousness, cause Thy rays to descend 
upon my heart, and scatter every thing "Hhich would 
oppose Thy warm and invigorating influence ! 

Experience in another view is so important, it Is to 
the heart demonstration; and to the judgment it stamps 
divinity on the word of God. If the result of true faith, 
be 'joy and peace in believing,' and my experience bears 
testimony to the validity of this, what further proof can 
I wish of its divine origin and tendency ? And surely 
we may rationally have this internal consciousness, and 
be as certain of it as of any thing that affects our exter- 
nal senses. When I am under the influence of joy, coul<i 
the force of any argument persuade me that sorrow fills 
my heart ? O no. Religion does not eradicate, but it re- 
fines and exalts the passions; and enlisting this noble 
part of our nature into its service, by tbe renewing and 
sanctifying influences' of the Holy Spirit, causes those 
affections, naturally placed on forbidden and unworthy 
objects, to soar and centre in heavenly themes; and gives 
the hope and promise that our hearts are so capable of a 
divine renewal, as to ' be filled with all the fulness of 
God.' 

May 26, Sabbath Bay. 
T went to chapel this morning, with the earnest desire 
and full persuasion that God would there bless me ; my 
hope and expectation have not been in vain 5 for, during 



MRS. COOPER. 1 )5 

Mr. Griffith's sermon, from John xv. 26. my soul wa* 
drawn out in ardent longing for that glorious deliverance 
from all sin, which he so clearly showed to be the pri- 
vilege of believers, and to be obtained only through faith 
in Christ. O, it is for this I pant, and without it, my soul 
looks in vain for happiness. This can be found only 
when the Spirit takes up his abode in the heart. This 
blessing appears to me so fully expressed from these 
words of our Lord, ' If ye keep my commandments, ye 
shall abide in my love ; even as I have kept my Father's 
commandments, and abide in his love.' Here the Son 
of God condescends to show the union to be as complete 
between Him and his obedient people, as subsists be- 
tween him and his Father. How sweet do I find that 
portion, I this morning selected for meditation, out of 
Komans, where Abraham's faith was counted to him for 
righteousness, c Being fully persuaded that what he had 
promised, he was able also to perform.' This was the 
faith acceptable to God. On those words of Him who 
spake as never man spake, 1 will now rely: If a man 
love me he will keep my words, and my Father will love 
him ; and we will come unto him, and make our abode 
with him.' O glorious promise! If, indeed, the Trinity 
thus descends into my heart, the principle of sin, root 
and branch, will be plucked up. O, come quickly, thou 
blessed Saviour : Thou, who by the angel didst proclaim 
thyself as Jesus, who should save Thy people from their 
sins; and who, by becoming their King, and promulga- 
ting Thy own laws, dost demand obedience on penalty 
of rejection ; Thou who by Thy Spirit's influence, hast 
inspired the ardent desire 1 feel, to be altogether Thine; 
O descend, and never let me breathe without Thy in- 
fluence ; nothing less than a constant sense of my inte- 
rest in Thee will satisfy me. Nothing do I so ardently 
desire, as a fresh restoration, not only to Thy favour, 
but to Thy image. 

I would this day again enter into solemn covenant 
with Thee ; again surrender myself in body, soul, and 
spirit, to Thy service. O give me but strength to fulfil 
all Thy will ; to obey Thee in every jot and tittle of Thy 
word ! To be brought into this blessed state, I resign my 
will, my understanding, and affections to Thee. Reign 



116 DIARY OF 

supreme, and * Lord of every motion there;' and if ever 
I swerve from that narrow path on which I have en- 
tered, ever again compromise with the world I have re- 
nounced, let me feel the goadings of an accusing con- 
science, and smart beneath the terrors of Thy threaten- 
ing ! Lord, Thou knowest 1 fully desire to be Thine 5 
to adorn, by a holy life and consistent conversation, the 
Gospel I profess. I feel my weakness, and know I 
have no strength independent of my Saviour! and, for 
the heavenly wisdom I need, am encouraged to ask of 
Him who giveth liberally, and upbraideth not. I want 
my will to be brought into subjection to Thine ; and 
having surrendered to the Great God, I ask Thee to 
mould and subdue it, till every opposing inclination is 
destroyed. O, for such a view of Thy majesty, Thy 
purity, Thy mercy, Thy love, that I may be swallowed 
up in the contemplation and triumph, of calling ZViec, 
my Father and my God. 

May 27. 

Yesterday was exceedingly blessed to my soul. I 
think I hardly ever found such an outpouring of the Spi- 
rit under the word. I was truly athirst for God : and 
when good Mr. Griffith spake to the Society alone, after 
evening service, so pathetic, so earnest was his address, 
that I shed abundance of tears. May that dear people 
attend to the things that make for their peace. May the 
work be deepened in their souls ! 

Let me ask, how his address operated on my own 
heart? I felt determined in His strength, who is Almigh- 
ty to save, to give myself more unreservedly up to God 
than ever I did \ to press after all the mind that was in 
Christ Jesus j to be more watchful, and more addicted 
to prayer. 

I especially feel the need at this time, of watching 
continually. On a review of the past, I find that little 
things have often quenched the divine fire of love in my 
soul. The indulgence of a wrong temper, or light con- 
versation, or any kind of trifling. As Mr. G. yesterday 
emphatically observed, c The Holy Spirit is infinitely 



MJtS. COOPER. 1 1 7 

delicate; how my experience corroborated this! For 
His indwelling in the soul, and unholy propensities, are 
quite incompatible. 

Lord, my hope is in Thee; I rest now beneath the 
shadow of Thy wings ; screen me in the hour of tempt- 
ation ; make my heart Thy dwelling-place ; and let my 
union and communiou with Thee, transform my nature, 
till the very thoughts of my heart are cleansed, and 
I be made fit to appear before the judgment-seat of 
Christ ! 

May 28. 

I have this morning found great liberty in prayer ; and 
especially for that deeper work of sancti 6 cation I so 
much need, and long to experience. My morning por- 
tion much eucourages me to look for it; ' Likewise reck- 
on ye yourselves dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto 
God.' I only live, when I live to Thee. It is only in 
this ultimatum of my desires, that I can look for happi- 
ness. Yes, I am in search of happiness; that which is 
to be derived from keeping within the veil, and re- 
ceiving, continually, borrowed rays from the uncreated 
Source of Light. What are the effects of the material 
sun, on creation, in this lovely season ? Its cheering in- 
fluence imparts life and beauty to all the vegetable world. 
The bud swells, the blossom expands j — the effect leads 
us to the cause. 

Let me apply this to the shining of the Sun of Right- 
eousness. While his glorious beams vivify my soul, it 
must scatter all remaining darkness, and cause all holy 
and heaven-born tempers to emanate. My light must 
shine, and its rays must be reflected on others. In vain 
are all pretensions to the enjoyment of God, unless holy 
fruits be the consequence. He blesses %ts thai we may 
be blessings; and, if the light of His countenance be lift- 
ed up upon us, the light of our good works will be mani- 
fest to others. 

O what a lovely thing is religion ! what a pure and 
never-failing spring of happiness! 

It was a song worthy of God and of angels when the 
Deity was about to veil his glory in our humanity ; to 
proclaim, £ Peace on earth ; good will towards men? O 



I 1 8 DIARY OP 

my soul, ever be suspicious when thou art clouded with 
discontent. Be assured, that distance from God is the 
cause. He dwells with the poor and contrite 9 to revive 
their hearts: all His footsteps are love. His name is 
love. ' He that dwelleth in love, dwelleth in God, and 
God in him* 

Junel, 1811. 
After an absence of three years, (supplied by a regu- 
lar correspondence) I have again enjoyed the company 
of my dear friend, Mary Ann , and the friendship whfch 
has for four years subsisted between us will receive ad- 
ditional strength from our recent interview. We find 
indeed but one spirit in the glorious pursuit of everlast- 
ing happiness ; and, I believe, are equally alive to the 
desire to press forward, and to drink deeper and deeper 
into God. But, alas! in many particulars I find myself 
far below my dear friend ; and the few days I have en- 
joyed her society, have tended much to show me the de~ 
fective parts of my deportment. 

Night of the same dap. 
This evening I have parted from my lovely friend, 
after having enjoyed a few hours (in a sweet walk) of 
the most affectionate and friendly converse. We parted 
with our hearts more than ever knit together, cemented 
by the bonds of true religion 5 and after having, on our 
knees, mutually commended each other to God, and 
blessed him for all the happiness and profit our friend- 
ship had afforded us, we parted with the full assurance 
of meeting each other in the abodes of endless bliss. O ! 
they were sweet moments, when we unbosomed our souls 
to our Heavenly Father ; and, when my dear Mary Ann, 
with all that piety and sweet simplicity for which she is 
so conspicuous, poured out her soul in ardent requests 
for our mutual happiness. To relieve that sadness, 
which separation from one so truly loved, has cast over 
my mind, I note down the interesting attendants of our 
adieu. Can I forbear acknowledging to that God, from 
whom I receive every thing I enjoy — the gratitude I feel 
ifpr the delights of friendship. To Him I owe my friend 



MRS. COOPER. 119 

To Him we both owe that sweet kindred flow of affec- 
tion, that ardent pursuit of heaven-born joys, which I 
trust will ever characterize us. 

When I take a suryey of the countless mercies which 
encompass me, and find myself so distinguished by tem- 
poral and spiritual good, I feel my deficiency in grati- 
tude and love to Thee, Thou source of blessedness. 

stamp upon my soul all Thy Image ; and let me daily 
feel more my obligations, and more fervent love to Thee! 
I want to live nearer to my God, and to enjoy all the hap- 
piness, He so delights to bestow. The desire Thou hast 
implanted, blessed God, wilt not Thou accept ? t ask 
not for temporal good ; but I do ask for a deeper acquaint 
ance with Thyself; and for longing desires after immor- 
tality. Is my only reliance on Jesus the author and 
finisher of faith ? Do I cast myself wholly upon Him, 
convinced of my utter helplessness, and His all-suffi- 
ciency ? — 

This is the general frame of my heart, though too 
often I feel a want of simplicity, in casting myself on His 
merits alone. I am too apt to connect enjoyment with 
safety. When happy in His love, my evidences are 
bright; but when unbelief prevails, then I do not suffi- 
ciently look to Him, who still is interceding on my be- 
half; and from whose love nothing can ever separate me, 
but the indulgence of sin. I want an increase of simple 
faith, and of momentary dependence on the charity of 
Heaven. 

1 have too frequently omitted ejaculatory and private 
prayer: I mean mid-day engagements, I have too readi- 
ly allowed myself in excuses for not rising early. O, 
how long is the catalogue of sins of omission ! Were 1 to 
die this week, what have I left undone which I should 
then wish I had performed ? Lord, give me wisdom to 
make this inquiry. 

Does my sense of gratitude bear any proportion to 
the benefit I have already received, and am yet likely 
to receive from that providential intimacy subsisting be- 
tween my dearest friend and me? In acknowledging God 
as the Author of my blessings, have I duly estimated his 
goodness in imparting them ? Indeed I have not 5 and ara 



120 DIARY OF 

justly condemned for my ingratitude. May uone of 
these things, at the hour of death, rise up to afflict 
me ! 

I am not sufficiently mindful of those innumerable 
temporal blessings, by which I am distinguished. 

My cup runs over ; and in spirituals and temporal^ 
how peculiarly am I favoured ! 

* Transported with the view, I'm lost 
In wonder, love, and praise .' 

I feel self-abased in the recollection, how cold my love 
to the souls of others has been. I have suffered oppor- 
tunities for serious conversation, to pass unimproved. 
In this I am altogether condemned. Lord, forgive me, 
and awaken in me such a deep concern for their eternal 
welfare, as shall give me incessant and ardent importu- 
nity with Thee for their salvation. 

1 am an accountable creature; O Lord, wert Thou 
strict to mark iniquity, I could not stand ; for, even on 
a review of my sins of omission and commission, I am self- 
condemned, and could not hope for Thy clemency, were 
there not an infinite atonement. Lord, I have no excuse 
to offer; my only plea is, that Jesus died; but I have 
recorded them, and now deplore them, that I may find 
grace to do so no more ; but to exercise more watchful- 
ness, more self-denial, a praying spirit ; that being quick- 
ened, I may every day rise to newness of life, and be a 
faithful and obedient subject to Jesus my King and my 
Master, who is the Saviour and Preserver of my soul, 



To 3Iiss , 

I cannot tell you, dearest Mary Ann, how much I re- 
gret the transient nature of the pleasure I enjoyed in 
your company. — Fleeting as the moments were, 1 hope 
the good effects will be lasting. I find my affections 
more than ever united to you : and, I think, I better es- 



MRS. COOPER. 121 

tiraate the value of that friendship for which I have oftei* 
blessed God ; and feel assured that our union with all 
the redeemed will be eternal. 

I anticipate the continuation of our correspondence 
with renewed pleasure ; and trust, increasing advantage 
will be the result ; and as we are now decided candi- 
dates for an immortal crown, so I hope our warfare will 
be continual ; and that we shall have, in the course of 
our spiritual contest, much of that peace which passeth 
understanding'. 

I feel at this time the blessedness of calling God my 
Father; — and have an inward peace which is indescriba- 
ble. — O my dear Mary Ann, the more I drink of the 
fountain of living waters, the more I feel my thirst abate 
for earth-born joys: — the more I experience of religion y 
the more 1 find its adaptation to my every want. 

To excite each other to these immortal hopes and en- 
joyments shall be our aim by our letters and prayers; 
and as the time approaches for our entrance on those new 
and important engagements which we both have in pros- 
pect, 1 trust our application to the all-sufficient source of 
strength and wisdom will be in proportion to our need ; 
that every new and relative duty may be filled up in the 
fear of God; that we may shine as lights in the world, 
and exemplify the spirit of our Lord and Master. 

Farewell, my much loved, invaluable friend. In all 
your future trials may you find support by looking up- 
ward, and looking forward : it will be but for a little — > 
Yours truly and affectionately, 

MARY HANSON. 



DIARY. 



June 15, 1811. 
I think I never felt, more powerfully than I have the 
last week, the sensation of gratitude. A retrospect of 
my past life, a sense of the countless blessings by which 
I am at present surrounded, and my happy prospects of 
the future; all have constrained me to call on my soul, 

L 



122 DIARY OF 

and all that is within me, to bless His holy name. I 
have really been led to think, no one ever had such pe- 
culiar motives for gratitude ; and yet I never felt the 
want of it more. In heaven, this noble principle will 
have full and uninterrupted exercise. When the soul ? 
released from its cumbrous clay, will have every faculty 
in full and perfect action. The thought of heaven, how 
does it inspire me with joy ; with courage to fight mau- 
fully every enemy that would oppose my progress 
thither. 

Regeneration ! Yes, it is so indeed. A new life is im- 
parted to the soul that lays hold of religion. Desires, 
hopes, aims, taste, all undergo a complete change. I 
bless God, that in all these particulars I can trace a new 
principle to what formerly influenced me. God, being 
the centre of my happiness, the circle of my enjoyments 
is unlimited ; and those desires after God, which nothing 
short of eternity can satisfy, must emanate from the infi- 
nite and eternal Source of all mind. 

4 O love divine, how sweet thou art, 
When shall I find my longing heart 
All taken up by Thee.' 



* Our blessings brighten, as they take their flight.' 

As every day brings me nearer to the time when £ 
must leave this loved spot, I view its receding beauties 
with considerable emotion. The culture of my flowers, 
which so often engaged my attention; their lovely hues, 
that always charmed me, and led me to trace His hand, 
c whose sun exalts, whose breath perfumes, whose Spirit 
paints. 7 Sweet warblers of the grove, with whose hymns 
of praise my heart has so often be^n in unison, I must 
leave you all : thankful I feel for the pure delights ye 
have afforded me, for the honeyed store of enjoyment the 
works of God have imparted ; and for being enabled to 
practise the happy art of deriving my reflections from 
the objects that surrounded me. The book of nature, 
I have with delight perused to a considerable degree 



MRS. COOPER. 123 

in a little time I must quit this volume \ and, by my re- 
moved residence to Loudon, shall be called upon, in a 
more enlarged and frequent manner, to study God in 
the volumes of providence and grace. I cannot then re- 
pine : nay, I will even believe, that that Being 1 who so 
clearly marks out my path, has greater enjoyments and 
usefulness in store for me, than I ever had; and this I 
shall experience, if led to a deeper acquaintance with 
Him, and to a more confirmed vigour in the pursuit of 
holiness. 

I shall immediately have a sweet immortal plant to 
cultivate and rear for the Paradise of God.* By my own 
example, spirit, and conduct, by my unwearied instruc- 
tion, aided by the Holy Spirit, I trust I shall be enabled 
to direct the eye and attention of that sweet creature, 
to those abodes of glory on which her dear, though un- 
kuown parent, has entered, I feel, in prospect, its im- 
portance ; but to Him who is all-sufficient, I will apply 
for wisdom and grace, that my preconceived notions of 
education (which I think have been well considered and 
digested) may be put into full effect. 

Rel-gion must be interwoven in all, in every part 5 so 
that the mind may be fully impressed that the object of 
all is, to prepare her here to be useful and happy, and to 
live in the enjoyment of God for ever. 

June 22, 1811. 

Through the last week I think I have suffered my mind 
to be too much occupied with domestic engagements. 
They would have been performed equally well, had my 
thoughts been less engrossed by the occupation. I feel 
I have lost strength by it ; and this is a jmv.it of danger 
to which I shall hereafter be much more exposed. A 
temptation to evil may be concealed amid our most lawful 
engagements 5 and a constant recurrence to that Being 
who has grace and wisdom to impart to all, in all circum- 
stances; is, indeed, a duty and a privilege. 

O that spirituality of mind were more a habit than it 
is with me ! I feel a want of more constant union and 
communion with God. He gives us grace that we may 

* Mr. C.'s child by his former wife. 



124 DIARY OF 

use it ; we must be co-workers with Him. This my daily 
experience shows me. I more and more feel the need of 
a simple dependence on Jesus. I do not sufficiently look 
to Him, in every dealing of providence and grace. But 
I desire it earnestly, and to walk by faith in Him* 

Juhj6,lSU. 
In expectation of receiving, on the morrow, the Holy 
Sacrament of the Lord's Supper, I devoted some time 
this evening for the more immediate contemplation of it ; 
and endeavoured to enter into an examination of the 
state of my heart towards God. I was much edified 
and assisted in reading parts of Thomas a Kempis; and 
found my soul very much drawn out towards God in 
prayer. The intercourse was open, and I felt the in- 
describable blessedness of viewing my blessed Redeem- 
er as having suffered, and now interceding on my behalf. 
I trust, indeed, it is a foretaste of the more abundant 
satisfaction I shall find on the morrow, at the blessed 
feast of love. O that at the Table of my Lord, he may 

4 Answer the gracious end in me, 

For which his precious life was given, 
Redeem from all iniquity, 

Restore, and make me meet for heaven !• 

that the root of unbelief, which keeps me so long 
from this blessing, may there receive its death-wound. 
That there my Saviour's image may be stamped on my 
soul j there may I find His precious death effectual for 
the removal of all his enemies — nay, their utter destruc- 
tion. 

1 cannot partake of the dying memorials of my Re- 
deemer's love, without finding fresh and lively incentives 
to consecrate myself anew to His service. O, if it be 
possible, I would do it more unreservedly than I ever 
did. O, may my whole soul be fully engaged in this all 
Important surrender; and may the last Sacrament I 
may ever receive here be the best. May I, in time to 
come, recur to it as a season when c His banner over me 
was love ;' when I sat under his shadow with great de- 
light, exulting in the conviction c that my Beloved is minej 
and I am His. 1 



MRS. COOPER. 125 

July 1 % 1811. 
Upon the whole, I have found the services of this day- 
very profitable ; and before the morning' service found 
great liberty and delight in ray supplications at the throne 
of grace. At the table of the Lord I experienced sweet 
peace in making a fresh surrender of my soul to Jesns. 
I am, indeed, athirst for more love ; and long to prove all 
the power of His death in saving me from inward sin. I 
want deliverance from a certain quickness in my disposi- 
tion, which makes me so alive to the slightest imputation 
from others pn my past or present conduct. This implies 
a great want of humility and lowliness of mind. Had I 
a deeper acquaintance with myself* I hardly think this 
disposition of mind would so often harass me. I want 
to lie lower at the footstool of my Saviour ; I want to 
feel unmoved by offences, and to have my heart glow 
with the same degree of love towards the offender. 
When perfected in love, this will be the happy disposition 
of my soul. 

O Thou, whose eyes are as a flame of fire, espying the 
secret springs and motives of my inmost soul, it satisfies 
me not that my fellow-creatures approve and admire my 
outward deportment: What will this approbation avail? 
It is thine, OGod, I need; and unless the very thoughts 
of my heart are cleansed, the motives and principles of 
my conduct made pure and upright, without this testi- 
mony I am restless. When I have experienced most 
happiness in Thee, it has been when my thoughts have 
been all put in requisition; all subservient to the glo- 
rious hopes and the animating prospects beyond the 
grave. 

When the Comforter takes up his abode in my heart, 
then all will be subdued to my Heavenly King* 

July 21,1811. 

It is a reflection peculiarly pleasing to my mind, that 
the still small voice of God allured me into the paths of 
true religion, amidst the enjoyments of every thing the 
world afforded ; health, friends, and prosperity. Deeply 
conscious of the incapacity of all these things, to impart 
the peace and happiness for which I thirsted— -won by 
the loveliness of the Gospel, I was enabled, through the 
L 2 



126 DIARY OF 

operations of divine grace, to take the Lord for my por- 
tion ', I was gradually brought to experience the privi- 
leges of my charter as a Christian ; and, when pardon 
was spoken to my heart, when peace and joy took place 
of doubt and fear, then I could say, ' He is the altogether 
lovely,' His patks are peace. 

To the present moment, I have never lost the assur- 
ance I then received, of my adoption into the family of 
heaven. It is true, clouds, dark clouds, have often veiled 
the Sun of Righteousness from my eyes 5 but still, I could 
believe He loved me. . 

While I possess this blessed hope, no change of out- 
ward circumstances, no privation of health or loss of 
friends, can make me essentially miserable. Give me 
but the internal support, the peace of God, surpassing 
all understanding; then pain will be sweet, and the sting 
of adversity will be extracted. Repose in Christ and 
His promises can preserve me unmoved amid the varying 
calamities of this state of trial. God has not promised 
the Christian exemption from trial, but He has promised 
support under it; and has declared his unwillingness to 
afflict. j^ 

It is the hand pf love, guided by a tender Fatmr, 
when the probing knife is used. Well, then, having sur- 
rendered myself to God, virtually renouncing my own 
will, I would, without anxiety, commend myself and all 
future events into His hands. 

In point of suffering, I feel that I have too little resig- 
nation, aud my own will is much too predominant. 
Want of faith in God alone makes this fear so full of tor- 
ment. Having nothing to do with the events of my fu- 
ture life, but to submit to them, sustained by the positive 
assurance that 'all things shall work together for my 
good :' I desire to yield myself up entirely to the Lord, 
and say, i Not my will, but Thine be done.' 

These reflections have arisen chiefly from the near 
contemplation of an event, to me of the utmost import- 
ance. Very soon I shall quit this abode of my infancy 
and youth ; scenes of mirth and folly, scenes too, of 
peace and holy joy. More than ordinarily privileged 
with books and leisure, for a considerable time, the im- 
provement of my mind, the gratification of my under- 



MRS. COOPER. 127 

standing, was the joy and business of my life; even 
then, I pitied those, who, in the enjoyments of sense 
alone, suffered the season of youth to pass by. This 
state of mind succeeded a considerable disposition to 
pursuits of gaiety : and, had I been unbridled by educa- 
tion, I should have launched out into all the scenes of 
gaiety so bewitching to the young. Thanks be to God, 
for the restraints thus imposed! As far as I could, I 
proved the pleasures of life 3 but the Omniscience of God 
then oppressed me. 

How powerful are the effects of a religious education! 
Under the ministry of the Rev. Mr. Fry, the latter end 
of the year 1803, I became broad awake to the import- 
ance of eternal things ; and for several months was ear- 
nest and devout, We left Londou — the preaching here 
not congenial \ losing sacramental opportunities, religion 
lost its power ; and soon I retained nothing but the name 
and the exterior. Bocks then I devoured with avidity, 
and the midnight hour has often found me in my closet, 
poring over the page of history, and the discoveries of 
natural philosophy. 

Mas I then happy ? O no ! going further and further 
frm God, I often wept when alone, and hardly knew 
why. Sometimes a sermon roused me ; oftener ray own 
reflections brought me to my knees. My little bark was 
tossed, without a pilot. What a mercy I was not then 
permitted to set sail on the ocean of life. I was safely 
harboured under a paternal roof: and though without 
rudder or compass, the mischief could not be extensive, 
because confined. Thus, at a distance from happiness, 
forgetful of the great end of my being, in positive dis- 
obedience to my Maker, I lived, until providentially led 
to hear the simple, unadorned, yet earnest preaching of 
the Wesleyan Methodists. The most inferior of their 
preachers roused, and fixed my attention. I lost my 
critical spirit-, no longer thirsted for the flowers of 
oratory, the elegance of diction ; but began to seek and 
find spiritual food for my hungry soul. I first heard 
them occasionally, then more frequently, and at length 
constantly ; and after twelve months hearing them, be- 
came a member of the Society, in March, 1810. Since 
that period I have sought, and I have found real hap- 



128 DIARY OF 

piness in religion; an effect more particularly the result 
of our creed j so scriptural, so divine ! I owe all of hap- 
piness to them as instruments, to God as the source. 
Glory be to His name! 

Happy moments I have here enjoyed ; impelled by 
the influence of divine love, my soul was on fire for use- 
fulness j to talk and pray with the poor, to aid their ne- 
cessities, as far as I could, now became, to the utmost of 
my power, my sweet employ. In self-denial was my 
joy; love was the spring of my obedience, and all the 
commands of God were my delight. Blessed be God, 
this is still my experience. 

My union with the Society introduced me to many 
very valuable friends in London. In a way most clear- 
ly providential, owe is about to remove me from this sphere 
of long-tried enjoyment. In a few weeks I shall bid 
adieu to you all, scenes of pain and of pleasure ! My 
opportunities of usefulness here are about to close. O 
that I had been more faithful, more active, more ear- 
nest! 

An important event has indeed attached itself with my 
union to this Society : through it I have acquired ti|e 
dearest friend I ever had, and live in the heart and at 
fections of one who appears to be fully worthy of mine. 
I have had daily cause to bless God for it; and believe 
I shall throughout eternity. No opposition has checked 
our path ; a seeming concurrence of earth and heaven, 
the final approval of my will, my heart, my judgment. 
I have the most unbounded confidence in the piety^ dis- 
position, and understanding of my beloved friend ; and I 
have before me every prospect of all that is to be enjoy- 
ed in the married life." 



[In the following thoughts on domestic order and dis- 
cipline, there is as much of sound sense as of genuine 
piety.] 

August 7, 1811. 

" I hope I have not lived to the present time, without 
deriving some very important lessons from observation 
and experience, particularly in domestic life. This is 



MRS. COOPER. 129 

the sphere of a woman'* action. It is here that full scope 
is given for the right use of her understanding', and for 
the exemplification of true religion. A very important 
trust is committed to her $ and I am inclined to think, 
that on her, primarily, the happiness, as well as good 
order of a family, devolves. Ker trials will chiefly arise 
from those of her own household ; it is, therefore, of very 
great importance, that a good and decisive system should 
be first arranged. Let it be fully impressed on the do- * 
mestics, that such things and such rules, you expect will 
be observed. The fewer deviations, the more their com- 
fort, as well as that of their superiors, will be preserved. 
But it is from the breach of good order, the non-per- 
formance of things necessary and expected to be done, 
that the trials and exercise of temper and patience, chief- 
ly arise ; — hence the vast importance of self-command. 
A remark of Epictetus, a heathen moralist, just now oc- 
curs to me — c Begin to govern your passions in the small- 
est things : is your oil spilt,' &c ' submit with patience, 
and say to yourself, at this rate do I purchase tranquilli- 
ty and constancy of mind. Nothing good is acquired 
without labour. When you call your servant, imagine 
he may be out of the way, or employed in something 
you will not have him to do, but do not make him so 
great as to have it in his power to give you disturbance. 1 
Were these the suggestions of a Heathen ? and shall a 
Christian, blessed with such a perfect system of morals, 
called upon to be meek and lowly like his Master j pro- 
mised strength from above, equal to every exigence : 
shall ke put himself in the power of every little accident, 
and by it give bis nousehold reason to question the sin- 
cerity of his religion ? O forbid it, Thou ever present 
Deity ! who at all times takest cognizance of the actious 
of Thy creatures. 

Our tempers are chiefly exercised by an opposition to 
self will; and the more self-importance there is in the 
character, the more frequent, and the greater in degree, 
will be the trial. 

It appears to me well, to settle it in the mind, that 
daily trials may, or will arise ; trials known to God, and 
which may greatly lend to promote a spirit of watchful- 
ness and self-acquaintance) and from a proper use of 



130 DIARY OF 

them, the Christian temper may become more established, 
For this end, how needful, every morning, to pray for 
special grace to keep me from manifesting any temper, 
contrary to the Gospel, either by hard, or unkind speech- 
es, or of suffering trifles wholly to engross that mind 
which ought supremely to be fixed on heavenly things. 
The indulgence of evil tempers ' darken evidences and 
cloud comforts.' Most earnestly do I entreat of God, a 
, complete mastery over myself, that, as far as I am con- 
cerned, my house may be a Bethel ; that servants, and 
all connected with me, may be constrained to admire the 
blessedness aud efficacy of true religion. What import- 
ance will then attach to my admonitions I How much 
greater will their respect be for a mistress who has rea- 
son at her command, and enforces all by a spirit of 
love. 

The Saviour never gave orders, without providing 
arms, and there is no precept in the blessed Gospel, for 
the performance of which God is not ready to commu- 
nicate divine strength. Good order and punctuality I 
consider of vast importance, in the right regulation of a 
family. This wil* have its foundation in early rising 9 ,a 
thing I bop? to accomplish ; without it I shall be unable 
to devote that tire e. I hope ever to consider a duty, of 
doing, in various ways, good to my indigent follow-crea- 
tures. 

There is something very delightful in living to good 
purpose, to have the prayers and blessings of the pious 
poor; and, by kindness and admonition, to bring in the 
way of salvation those that know not God. 

How much is implied in living as a Christian; in walk- 
ing with God !" 



[A letter, of which the following is an extract, was 
written a short time before her marriage: — it is open and 
honest, and a proper model for all epistles on a similar 
subject] 



MRS. COOPER. 15 I 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Aug 7, 1811. 

** Such a letter, from such a friend, at such a tine de- 
mands something more than mere verbal acknowledg- 
ment. Ere this, my dearest friend, you must have dis- 
covered how alive my feelings are to attentions, and the 
contrary. Neither apathy nor indifference is at all con- 
stitutional with me. Hence the affection, you so kindly, 
so warmly express, will be duly prized, and in due time 
properly returned. Were the happy talent of giving 
extraordinary pleasure, in the epistolary way, mine, you 
should now receive an answer worthy of the affectionate 
letter before me j which afforded me more pleasure than 
I choose to express. You have taught me to believe that 
silence is very expressive. In this way, then, accept 
aud believe me most grateful for the undeviating proofs 
of your attachment, at once pleasing, and to me so inva- 
luable. 

As our acquaintance will soon assume a more import- 
ant, and very different aspect, I am unwilling to allow 
the present opportunity (perhaps the last I shall in this 
way have) to pass, without telling you, of the very great 
profit I have already derived from our happy intercourse. 
The most entire and happy union certainly subsists be- 
tween us on all subjects. We alike soar, renouncing 
the world in every sense, as any model for our domestic 
procedure. 4 The Bible is our one book,' and from that 
pure fountain I trust our streams of happiness will 
flow, 

I cannot but indulge a sweet confidence, that that 
God, who by His providence has brought us to regard 
each other, as we now do, will enable me to be every 
thing requisite to your happiness. I have such an entire 
reliance on that promise. 'T can do all things through 
Christ, that strengthened me;' and, if I may be allowed 
the expression , have so much spiritual ambition, that 
what formerly made me shrink, as impossible, I can now 
expect without fear. Faith is omnipotent. By prayer 
only, can we hold converse with the Deity, and thus be 
changed from glory into glory, 



132 DIARY OF 

Hammersmith, Aug. 10, 1811. 

I scarcely know, my dear Miss W , which of two- 
motives more powerfully influences me in addressing 
you at this time: the request of my dear father, or the 
desire I feel to express the sympathy with which my 
bosom glows at the affecting- picture of distress depicted 
iu your letter to my father. I do, indeed, most affection- 
ately feel for you ; and the only expression I can give 
of it, is to direct your mind to those sources of pure and 
permanent happiness which remain secure, and must 
flourish amidst the changes and perpetual vicissitudes of 
human life. 

I cannot allow myself to think that the accident 
your dear mother has met with, is of itself likely 
to prove of any very serious consequence. Those 
effects, pain, &c. you mention, naturally follow such 
a concussion of the whole frame. I once had a simi- 
lar accident. 

How far the previous weakness of your dear parent 
may operate against a spaedy and entire recovery I 
know not ; my earnest prayer shall be that a life so in- 
valuable, so much desired, may long be granted to you, 

That many years of health, if it be the will of God, 
may yet be your portion, and that of your amiable 
mother ; and that the successive afflictions, with which 
you have been visited, may ultimately prove to yon. 
y blessings in disguise.' O my dear Miss W— — , true 
religion is, indeed, a powerful charm, it can do what the 
philosopher's stone has done fabulously, turn all that it 
touches into gold. When that veil opaque, which natu- 
rally covers our hearts, is thrown aside, we discover a 
Being of infinite benevolence, who in first giving his Son 
for our ransom, denies us nothing else, but dips every 
seeming painful arrow into love; and tries us here, that 
we may be fitted for the pure and peaceful enjoyment 
of himself in the world above. Would the dross ever be 
separated from the gold, think you, my dear friend, were 
it merely to lie exposed to the meridian sun? O no. 
That genial warmth would leave the gross particles un~ 
extracted : in some cases it must be purified seven times 
in the furnace. Let us apply this to unclouded prosper* 






MRS. COOPER. 133 

lty : and take a view of the state of our hearts and hopes, 
when our expectations beat high with present enjoy- 
ments and future prospects. The world how desirable f 
That Being', who sustains our lives, whose penetrating 
eye is ever upon us, and who by mercies momentarily 
dispensed, lays claim to our love, is, perhaps, the last 
remembered. Though we thus forget him, he remembers 
us; earthly props are withdrawn; sickness demands 
reflection ; the sly scythe of time mows down, with un- 
relenting hand, the objects of our present love ; and 
when thus left to the solitude of our hearts ; the facina- 
tions of the world sicker? and fade from our view. 'Tis 
then the Father of the fatherless extends his arms to re- 
ceive his returning child. Read the sweet parable of 
the prodigal in Luke xv. Let me entreat you, my dear, 
to read and prize the Book of God — We naturally attach 
importance to a remedy that has been tried, and proved 
effectual; especially if the individual who prescribes it 
has had personal proof of its efficacy. Allow rne then, 
from my experience ^a present happy possession) of its 
value, to urge upon you te make religion the paramount 
desire of your heart. Life is a bitter draught without 
it; religion is a purifying, exalting, tranquillizing prin- 
ciple. It makes the yoke of duty easy, the burden of 
care light. In the words of an elegant writer, c It is the 
knowledge of Him, whom to know is wisdom, whom to 
fear is rectitude, whom to love is happiness. 7 A sweet 
epitome of its worth ! This is such a darling theme of 
mine, that I am apt to dwell long upon it ; but I could 
never express the tenth part of the happiness I have 
found in those ways, which the wise man declares to be 
paths of peace and pleasantness : but religion to me 
was merely a system of restraints, until I obeyed the 
divine injunction, and gave God my heart: and, of 
course, gave up (he world. For inspiration declares, ' If 
any man love the world, the love of the Father is not iu 
him :* and believe me, my dear, a true taste of heaven- 
born enjoyments gives us an effectual disrelish for the 
irrational and frothy pleasures of the world. 

When we travel round the world within, and hold con- 
verse with 

M 



!S4« DIARY OF 



- ' a stranger there 



* Of high descent, and more than mortal rauk, 

4 An embryo God, a spark of fire divine, 
1 Which must burn on for ages, When the Sun. 
4 Fair transitory creature of a day, 
4 Etas closed his golden eye.' 

There are moments when we can rejoice in being en- 
dued with immortality, and when we can feel our souls 
elevated with a view of that infinite price paid on the 
cross by Him, i who wept that we might smile, who bled 
that we might never die. We must not forget the gold- 
en chain let down from heaven to save a sinking world ; 
but avail ourselves of that mysterious mean left open for 
holding intercourse with the Father of our spirits by 
prayer, the noblest employment of created beings on 
earth ; the elevation of the soul towards its Maker. O ! 
that you, my dear friend, in this season of affliction, of 
painful suspense, may find, in approaching the Saviour of 
a lost world, that peace and composure, that resignation 
i and acquiescence, which he waits to bestow : for he hath 
said, ' Ask, and you shall receive ; seek, and you shall 
find.' 

As I hope you will have inclination, as well as time, 
to read a long letter, I shall not apologize for having 
followed the present dictates of my inclination, I cannot 
doubt that you will regard the motive pure and affection- 
ate. In any way to alleviate the sorrows and sufferings 
of my fellow-creatures is the prime luxury of my life ; 
and to direct their attention towards those sources of 
happiness I have proved is only a slight return of grati- 
tude to that Being who so peculiarly blesses me, What 
more shall I say to soothe you? May the mind of your 
dear parent be supported under her affliction: and, when 
oppressed with pain and weakness, may the everlasting 
arms be beneath her. By an interest in the Saviour, 
may she be raised from the ruins of the fall, and have a 
glorious hope of happiness beyond the grave. Time is 
but the infancy of our being: but it is our state of pro- 
bation j and, therefore, consequences of infinite value 
attach to the present moment : and the words of our in- 
carnate God are, i Verily I say unto you, except ye be 
born again ye cannot see the kingdom- of God.' 



MRS. COOPER. 135 

1 hope I have not wearied you, my dear Miss W s 

ftvith the subject. I have pressed it the more on your 
attention from the vein of seriousness so observable in 
your letter, and knowing it to be the only thing adapted 
to satisfy creatures endued with immortality. I have 
ventured to dwell largely on the importance of answering 
the great end of our existence. All that I have said is 
derived from that Book which we all receive as inspira- 
tion. 

My dear mother feels exceedingly for you in your 
trials. Present our kind remembrances to your dear 
mother ; aud believe me to remain, 

Yours, very affectionately, 

MARY HANSON, 

Hammersmith^ Aug* 20, 1811, 
My dear, Miss W , 

My last letter Was the result of sympathy and condo- 
lence, and I hope the progressive amendment of your 
dear mother's health will justify the present being a 
congratulatory one. I rejoice with you in the prospect 
of her restoration, and I trust God will put efficacy in 
the means used for the establishment of her general 
health. — I am induced to reply to your kind letter now, 
(for which I thank you,) from the probability that for a 
considerable time to come, a variety of new engagement? 
will fully occupy my time ; indeed, at the present mo- 
ment it is with difficulty I can allow any scribbling time j 
so that should this letter be shorter than yours, you will 
make every due allowance. It is no trifling circumstance, 

my dear Miss W , to be on the point of leaving a 

home endeared by all the pleasing varieties of childhood 
and youth ; to quit the superintendence of dear parents, 
&c. &c. to commence new relations, and new engage- 
ments 5 both iu retrospect and prospect there is full oc» 
cupation for the mind. 

With me, I must thankfully acknowledge both to be 
tinctured with a pleasing hue. I feel reason to rejoice 
that the formation of a connexion, so all important, was 
not made at an earlier period of my life, when my feel- 
ings would have been far more consulted than my judg- 
pient: that I was not permitted hastily to choose a com* 



135 DIARY OF 

panion, when uninfluenced by religion, I might have 
selected one destitute of that only bond of permanent do- 
mestic happiness ; fhat this principle is the only securi- 
ty for its continuance, is my most deliberate judgment, 
after much reflection and observation. I canuot express 
to you how endearing" is a uuion of hearts in religion, 
where mutual hopes aid aims are directed towards ob- 
jects pure, lovely, and permanent; with the animating 
expectation, that when this mortal shall put on immor- 
tality, 

* Together both their happy spirits fly, 
To scenes where love and bliss immortal reigns.* 

After a most happy intimacy, both epistolary and per- 
sonal, of twelve months, I shall, if God permit, surren- 
der myself to one of the most amiable of men on Tues- 
day next 5 a period! can regard without the least anxiety, 
because convinced of the unerring" guidance of Provi- 
dence, and of the entire suitability of the individual 
I love — 

I should not have said so much to you on this subject, 

dear Miss W , but for the desire I feel, that as you 

possess such pious views, you would never enter on a 
connexion so important without imploring the guidance 
and direction of heaven; and making piety a first con- 
sideration in your choice. 

Religion is interwoven with all my hopes and plans of 
happiness ; it is a sweet ingredient in the bitter draught 
of life ; it is a perenniai spring in the very centre of the 
heart : — it is all we need to make us happy here, and 
for ever. 

It gives me much pleasure to hear you speak so de- 
cidedly of your love and preference of piety, and of your 
habitual perusal of the word of God. May the Divine 
Spirit more and more enlighten our minds to compre- 
hend its treasures, and estimate its worth. 

I expect to return from Wales in about three weeks, 
when I shall be happy to hear from you :— by that time 
I hope your good mother will be restored to a more de 



MRS. COOPER, 137 

cisive state of good health. Time will not allow me to 
enlarge ; you will accept the intention, and believe me 
to remain 

Your very affectionate, 

MARY HANSON." 



[Shortly before her marriage, her mind was more than 
ever impressed with the importance of the step she was 
about to take; with the new situation to which she 
thought herself so evidently called by Divine Provi- 
dence; with the various relations in which she must 
shortly stand, and the duties, which, in each of those 
relations, she must conscientiously discharge. Her feel- 
ings, views, and reflections, on these subjects, are well 
expressed in the following passages.] 



DIARY. 



August 8, 1811. 

Ci It is the peculiar privilege of the mind, properly in- 
fluenced by the spirit of religion, to extract good from 
apparent evil ; and from the chequered circumstances of 
life, to view the overruling and kind intentions of a God 
of love, in every thing. 

A review of the past, inspires confidence in the 
future. 

When I take a survey of my past life, from the period 
reason began to operate, I can trace the guidance of an 
Almighty hand ; and can adore that wisdom and love 
which have made even seeming hindrances, a real help 
to the knowledge of Himself. 

All my domestic trials, the moral school in which I 
have been disciplined, will, I hope, prove of continual 
benefit to me in future life. 

M 2 



138 DIARY OF 

By being accustomed to have ray stubborn will and in- 
clinations crossed, my motives questioned, and my favour- 
ite schemes thwarted, a considerable measure of that self- 
will and self-importance, so natural to me, has received 
a powerful check ; and, as I shall shortly, with the per- 
mission of heaven, breathe in an atmosphere, the most 
congenial to the sensibilities of my nature, I trust I shall 
duly prize, and affectionately return them. 

I feel the advantage of what I have suffered ; I can 
bear opposition j and the natural independence of my 
miud, as far as it has been extravagant, has been thus 
much subdued. 

It is probable, if I had been allowed time for the at- 
tainment of knowledge, in reading, &c. my inclination 
would have been less ardent for it : nor should I have 
accustomed myself so fully to employ every moment. 
I have learnt to enjoy solitude ; a love of books first in- 
spired this j and afterwards, a recollection of the little 
stores I had laid up in my mind, tended exceedingly to 
make me enjoy my own company. An important acqui- 
sition this. I have never known what ennui means, from 
my own experience. I have been taught too, to consi- 
der religion as nothing worth unless its benign influen- 
ces be shed on domestic life, by rectifying the tempers, 
and * making the crooked paths of nature even.' We 
must * by actions show our sins forgiven.' 

The restoration of the lost Image of God, can mean 
nothing less than the implantation of the meek and lowly 
mind of Jesus. 

I find too, that it is profitable to give up one's own 
will in little things; to avoid pertinacity, and rather 
yield, though unconvinced, than rouse in the opponent 
those evil passions of pride and malevolence, so baneful 
in their consequences. 

Punctuality in family arrangements, is of vast import- 
ance; properly to divide time, and to be diligent in 
whatever you are about. Example is far more power- 
ful than precept. Enforce nothing in your family, if it 
be a sacrifice you are not willing to make yourself. It 
is a most pleasing consideration, that the dear friend, 
with whom I hope to spend the residue of my days, on 



MRS. COOPER. 139 

all these subjects thinks with me ; with this difference, 
with him it has long been practice 5 with me, at present f 
it is little more than theory. 

August 17, 1811. 

How does the prospect of witnessing and manifesting 
the influential principle of religion in domestic life, cheer 
my heart, and brighten my prospects ? Under the roof 
of my dearest friend, I feel assured, I shall perpetual- 
ly breathe an atmosphere congenial to my wishes. Peace 
is an invaluable possession, and most scrupulous shall I 
ever feel for its preservation. 

* The spirit, like a peaceful dove, flies from the haunts 
of noise and strife.' How would it pain my heart, could 
I believe myself capable, or disposed to render, by in- 
tentional or unintentional remarks, one member of my 
family a prey to one hour's grief. I trust it will be my 
continual aim, by the help of God, to make all happy 
around me, and to manifest the real spirit of piety in 
every transaction of my life. 

All I have learnt in the schools of reading and expe- 
rience, must there be brought into action. Mental ac- 
complishments avail little indeed, unless they regulate 
the heart, and cause the benefit to be more felt than seen. 
I must not display, but act; love, and be beloved. 
There must be a sentry at my heart, that must be kept; 
for out of it proceeds all that tends to disquietude. I 
must sacrifice in little things 5 beware of pertinacity; in 
short, beware of every thing that shall cause the slight- 
est interruption of that peace, which to me appears so 
highly desirable, and which cannot be sufficiently 
prized. 

August 21, 1811. 
I feel thankful that I did not, at an earlier period 
of my life, enter into the important engagements near at 
hand. Such an occurrence would have deprived me of 
the many invaluable opportunities I had, of laying in 
a store of useful knowledge, both by reading and ob- 
servation. I trust that now, my judgment is sufficient- 



140 DIARY OF 

ly matured to justify the desire and hope I hare that 
the new and important relations on which I shall en- 
ter, will be filled with that propriety which is the re- 
sult of a well-regulated mind. i As in the superintend- 
ence of the universe, wisdom is seen in its effects, 
and as they proceed with beautiful regularity, not of 
chance, but by design 5 so that management which seems 
the most easy, is commonly the consequence of the beat 
concerted plan ; and a well-concerted plan is seldom 
the offspring of an ordinary mind. A sound econo- 
my is a sound understanding brought into action. The 
more a woman's judgment is rectified, the more ac- 
curate views she will take of the station she is born 
to fill ; and the more readily will she accommodate her- 
self to it. 1 These remarks of my favourite author, I appro- 
priate to myself. I feel their force, and wish to act upon 
them. I shall, indeed, have read and thought in vain, 
unless I fill up the domestic circle with more propriety 
and usefulness than those who have either wanted time 
or inclination for the same rational pursuits. What a 
happiness is the assurance, that the intended partner of 
my life entertains the same views, and will help me 
by his counsel and advice to fulfil my plans and 
intentions -, and above all, that God will condescend to 
assist me by His grace, to act in all things as be- 
comes the character of a Christian. 

Sunday, Aug. 25. 
I would adore and magnify Thy holy name, most 
Holy God and Heavenly Father, for the countless mer- 
cies bestowed upon me beneath this parental roof. 
Richly endowed with the "gifts of Providence, and 
the better blessings of Thy grace, I have been long 
called upon by love and gratitude, wholly to devote 
myself to Thy service. Lord, thou knowest how sin- 
cerely and how frequently I have done this. It is 
my daily privilege to live momentarily on the charity of 
Heaven-, — the blessed dependence of true believers. 
Thou art all-sufficient ; therefore, 1 can now look up 
and expect the blessing I so peculiarly need at this 
time. In Thy fear, O God, shall I enter on the solemn 
engagements of Tuesday next. O condescend there 
to meet us: and at the sacred altar do Thou manifest 



MRS. COOPER. 141 

Thyself to our souls. In the days of Thy incarna- 
tion, Thou didst honour the institution with Thy di- 
vine presence 5 and, though withdrawn from our bodily 
eyes, yet Thou hast still immediate access to all spi- 
rits 

Dearest Redeemer ! wilt Thou not bless Thy children ? 
Wilt Thou not speak sweet peace to those who pant for 
no other joys than those which flow from Thee ? Thou 
wilt ; past experience encourages me to trust Thee. O 
that every good and desirable end may be accomplished 
by this providence. 

May we live, blessings approved of Heaven ; epistles 
known and read of all men ; lights of the world \ and to 
Thy name shall be all the glory. 

Here I close my Hammersmith Journal, with senti- 
ments of gratitude to God. O may the new era of my 
life, at hand, abundantly further my immortal interests ; 
and to Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, be endless praises. 
Amen, and Amen 1" 

"M.H." 



[Miss Hanson's marriage with Mr. Cooper, took place, 
according to appointment, on August 27, 1811, with the 
most favourable auspices, and, humanly speaking, with 
the promise of every blessing, spiritual and temporal. 
That the same principle actuated her heart and her con- 
duct, after marriage as before it, is well known to all 
who had the privilege of her acquaintance ; and particu- 
larly from the subsequent passages in her journal. One 
thing it may be necessary to remark, that owing to the 
general indisposition under which she laboured after her 
marriage, and which, to some, is the natural consequence 
of such a state, she suffered frequent depression of spirits; 
and this caused her to speak less favourably of her reli- 
gious state than she might have done; — she was shortly 
to become a mother, and had to tread, to her, an unbeat- 
en path. Hence she was often incapable of discerning 
between a state of great nervous depression, a frequent 
consequence of a state of pregnaucy ; and spiritual de- 
clension : her inexperience sometimes led her to form 
wrong conclusions. That she suffered much from the 



142 DIARY OF 

former, both in body and mind, her friends saw with 
deep concern : but they anticipated the pleasing hope 5 
that the hour was continually approaching", in which her 
wonted vigour of body and energy of mind would be 
restored ; and experience fortify her against suffering so 
keenly in future, from undue apprehensions of her real 
state. That she had suffered no loss in her soul ; that 
her bow continued in unabated strength ; that her 
heart was increasingly right with God ; and that in pro- 
portion to her streugth, she was as diligent ? yea ? more 
abundant in all the means of grace, in the work of faith, 
patience of hope, and labours of love, after her marriage, 
as before it. was easily marked by her spiritual instruct- 
ers ; and most obvious to the whole circle of her reli- 
gious acquaintance. The poor and the distressed, for 
whom, with incessant diligence, she laboured till she 
died, can most forcibly tell the tale of her benevolent 
exertions ; for their sakes she often forgot herself — ever 
feeling, tjjat in all situations of life, and in all circum- 
stances of health, she was called to glorify God, by 
doing good to man. It has been judged necessary to 
make these observations, lest from the manner in which 
she expresses herself in some parts of the succeeding 
journal, the inexperienced or unthinking might be led to 
suppose, that her spiritual state was less prosperous after 
her marriage; whereas the reverse might, in all probabi- 
lity, be most safely maintained, as her last days, and 
particularly her last hours, appear so abundantly to de- 
monstrate.] 

DIARY. 

Knighton, Sept. 7, 1811. 

" Since I last wrote, the most important event of hu- 
man life has been ratified, I trust, in heaven, as well as 
upon earth. We reached this place,* on Saturday even- 
ing, Aug. 31. 

I am truly happy with this dear family ; received with 
such uncommon affection ; the witness of so much piety ; 
so much domestic concord; my mercies are without 
number. 

* The residence of Mr. C's father. 



MRS. COOPER. 14-3 

Sunday, Sept. 1. 
At nine, we went to the Methodist chapel here ; heard 
Mr. R. from ' What shall I render unto the Lord, for all 
His benefits which He hath done unto me.' At eleven, 
went to church, heard Mr. Morgan Evans, from i And 
Enoch walked with God,' &c. I was much pleased with 
the simplicity of the preacher, and his views of the sub- 
ject. At six, heard Mr. Radford, at chapel. After the 
evening 1 service, I and my dear husband had the great 
privilege oi receiving the memorials of our Redeemer's 
love ; we found it a most profitable and delightful season 
to our souls, and were not a little thankful, in having so 
early an opportunity after our union, of thus renewing 
our covenant with God. 

London, Sept. 29, 1811. 

We returned home on the 20th inst. since which time 
I have been so fully engaged that I have found no time 
to make any little record of the various blessings I am 
now continually receiving. 6 Peace, harmony and love, 
the richest bounty of indulgent heaven,' are ours. 
Happy in God, and in each other, we feel our every 
breath should be praise. I wish, indeed, to evidence 
true devotion, by an unreserved consecration of all my 
powers and faculties to the service of my Master in 
heaven. I feel, that as a Christian I am not to live to 
myself; nor am 1 to confine all my exertions to my own 
family. They have the first claim ; but am I not called 
upon to administer to the necessitous, and in various 
ways impart the blessings so profusely bestowed upon 
me? 

I have been much blessed every Sabbath since our 
marriage. How profitable is the Lord's Day, when pri- 
vate intercourse tends to confirm the benefit received 
from public instruction; when nothing interrupts the 
sacred harmony which ought to pervade the mind of the 
Christian. 

October 29. 
Although supremely blessed with every earthly en- 
joyment, yet have I, from various exercices of mind 
Throughout the past month, been led to see the emptiness 



144 DIARY OF 

of every mere temporal good. For some days, comfort 
was withheld 5 and I felt a painful void at the absence of 
my Heavenly Father. In this state I was frequently led 
to feel the insufficiency of every thing 1 but God, to make 
me happy. In searching for the cause, I found that my 
private devotions had been more hurried than usual; and 
that the intrusion of domestic concerns was allowed to 
encroach upon the time set apart for secret converse with 
God. As a consequence of this, perhaps, I did not so set 
the Lord before me as to walk with him. Thus, the 
Spirit of God was grieved, and my soul brought into 
heaviness, through manifold temptations. 

All this I deplored to Mrs. C. at my class, on the*21st. 
Her sensible admonitions were made truly profitable to 
me, and I returned home determined to seek till I found, 
once more, sensible peace with God. In a considerable 
degree, it has been mercifully restored to me. [Seethe , 
remarks in p. 141. J 

Nov. 9,1811. 

How necessary is it that God should remind us of the 
dissolving nature of our earthly tabernacle. When pain 
and languor seize the body, then I practically feel the in- 
sufficiency of all the temporal good I enjoy, to make me 
happy. 1 regard every memento of this sort, as mer- 
cifully designed to wean my affections from the crea- 
ture, and to make me feel that rest can only be found in 
heaven — in God. 

Since my marriage, I have certainly had a very large 
increase of temporal peace and happiness ; but that I 
may not be exalted above measure, my Heavenly Father 
has mingled in this cup of sweets, a few unsavoury in- 
gredients. My health has been far less uninterrupted 
than before. 

4 Choice befits not our condition, 
Acquiescence is the best.' 

If the Lord but visit me with the light of His counte- 
nance, and make the season of indisposition a time for 
divine communications, how cheerfully will I embrace all 
He appoints. I am sure he does all in love j and as I 



MRS. COOPER. 145 

cannot let go the confidence I have that he is my Father ; 
so I believe He will pitifully weigh whatever chastise- 
ments he sees fit to exercise me with. I bless God I feel 
superior to the influence of earthly baits to make me 
happy. 

December 7. 
Am I making progress in the divine life ? In answer 
to this inquiry, I must pause and reflect. I find my de- 
sires alter full sanctification, and feel the necessity of it, 
as much as ever I did ; and though frequently cast down 
by my want of life in devotion, still I thirst after the 
living God, and desire a joyful sense of His presence, far 
more than any thing this world has to present. I have 
had to contend, for the last two months, with almost con- 
tinual pain and tceakness of body. This is indeed quite 
a new trial to me, (health almost uninterrupted, having 
heretofore been my portion) and has tended very much 
to depress my spirits ; and, from the close union betwixt 
body and soul, has perhaps caused much of the darkness 
I have mourned. Though a trying and unexpected ap- 
pointment, I feel quite sure that wisdom and lore are 
conspicuous in it. Were it not for this alloy, I should 
have nothing to prove to me that this is a state of disci- 
pline. Blessed in every other way, my hold of God, as 
the only satisfying portion, would be difficult indeed. I 
trust I have felt nothing like a disposition to murmur. 
As every month ivill bring me nearer to that important 
and trying event, of which I have always had so uncom- 
mon a dread, and once, such dismal forebodings, I trust 
the grace of God will be imparted more abundantly ; and 
that as I shall need, so I shall have imparted an increase 
of faith to trust Him who has promised to hear and an- 
swer in the day of trouble. 



January 19, 1S12. 
What abundant reason have I to bless and magnify 
the name of the Lord, that He has not withdrawn the 

N 



146 DIARY OP 

refreshing influences of His Holy Spirit from my soul ; 
and although my devotedness to Him, and love to His 
name, have bore no proportion to His benefits towards 
me ; yet still He quickens me, and has of late, in an 
abundant measure, caused me to hunger and thirst after 
His righteousness. On the last day of the year I was 
much depressed in mind ; and on self-examination found 
very great cause for deep humiliation before Him ; es- 
pecially during some of the latter months. God had 
multiplied, in rich abundance, my meaus of grace, of 
spiritual improvement, and temporal enjoyment 5 and 
yet, alas ! I had been in danger of ungratefully resting 
more in the gift than the Giver. Deeply convinced of 
my ingratitude, after spending some time in prayer with 
my beloved husband, for the quickening influences of 
God's Spirit, we went to the watch-night, at Queen-street 
chapel, where God so blessed the service, and in parti- 
cular, Dr. Clarke's sermon, that I left my burthen behind 
me, and found liberty afresh to give myself up to God. 
From that period I have felt myself like a new creature. 
God has been near to me in prayer, and His Spirit has 
rendered effectual every means of grace. 

On the 4th, I went to Hammersmith ; and again found 
waiting upon God, in my favourite chapel there, very 
good and refreshing. In the afternoon the covenant was 
renewed, in which I found great liberty and sweetness. 
At the Lord's table my vows received a double confirma- 
tion. To be altogether the Lord's : to walk closely with 
Him. and to strive to follow Him in all things, has been, 
and is now, through divine assistance, my firm purpose 
and intention. I have been, of late, deeply convinced 
of my own insufficiency; and if I remain steadfast in my 
present purposes, I am sensible it must be by the power 
of God, through Jesus Christ alone. At present I find 
much peace and power to cast all my care upon Him : 
and am led very earnestly to entreat God that He will 
sanctify the happy union which has taken place during 
the past year ; and that he will make my dear husband 
more abundantly instrumental to my good, and me to 
his. I must watch and pray continually. 






MRS. COOPER. 147 

Tbe mercies of God, which so richly encompass me, 
fi are trials, not rewards,'' and I find myself more in dan- 
ger of growing careless, from the profusion of His gifts, 
than I perhaps should do were they imparted with a 
more sparing hand. By the mercies of God then, let me 
be constrained to present my body and soul, a living sa- 
crifice, holy and acceptable in His sight. Should these 
benefits be misimproved, or slighted, may I not justly 
fear their being withdrawn or diminished ? O, Thou 
Heavenly Benefactor, who hast so peculiarly distinguish- 
ed me with Thy benefits, let me, by Thy grace, be as 
eminently distinguished for my faith, love, humility, and 
zeal for Thy service ! Help me to live to Thee ; that to 
please Thee in all things may be my habitual aim, and 
my never-failing spring of comfort. I dare not ask at 
Thy hands either comforts or crosses ; but I do ask to 
have no will but Thine ; and to have the features of my 
dear Redeemer more and more impressed, in living cha- 
racters, on my heart. O let me know what it is to have 
a constantly indwelling God! 

3IarchU y 1812. 
My religious experience has of late been very varia- 
ble. To sit loose to the world, is a difficult, though 
necessary duty. I feel, without it, I cannot make pro- 
gress in divine things, nor enjoy the peace which pass- 
eth understanding: and without this, all my other en- 
joyments are nugatory and void. O Lord, quicken Thou 
my soul. Rich as I am in worldly blessings, without 
Thy love I am poor and destitute indeed. My late ex- 
perience has led me more than ever to feel my own utter 
insufficiency without the constant aid of the Spirit of God. 
God has visited me with much bodily pain and debility - y 
I hear his voice in it, and am fully persuaded it is a 
visit of mercy. But is it yet sanctified? alas! not as it 
should, nor as it might have been. A review of this, on 
the last Sabbath, caused me brokenness of spirit. Weary 
and heavy-laden I went to the Lord, and found myself 
much relieved and encouraged to fight against these op- 
posers of my spiritual life. I must not live at a distance 



3 4S BIART OP 

from the Supreme Good. In times past I have partak- 
en of the heavenly manna, and drank of the fountain of 
life freely : and it is still open. O that I may now exer- 
cise faith on my Lord and Saviour, and seek for grace 
every moment, that every evil tendency may be quelled 
as it rises ! [See the remarks in p. 141.] 

I am all need and helplessness ; and yet I desire no- 
thing* so much as the removal of whatever tends to sepa- 
rate me from my Heavenly Father. My marriage too 
lays me under increasing obligations to devote myself to 
God, who has bestowed upon me the best earthly bless- 
ing. I am called to new duties, which require peculiar 
grace, properly to discharge them. O Lord, I will re- 
new my dedication to Thy service. Baptize me afresh 
with Thy Holy Spirit, and sanctify bodily affliction. O 
may it be the one desire of my sou), to gain more and 
more of the divine image, and to be increasing in holi- 
ness and meetaess for the eternal world ! 

My present circumstances ought certainly to make 
me familiar with death and its consequences. / know 
not that I shall survive the trying hour of child-birth ; 
at any rate, I shall then especially need the supports and 
comforts of true religion, and the presence of God, which 
to some, he so mercifully imparts at that awful period. 

that 1 may now be found faithful to the grace given I 

April 26. 

I have devoted some hours of this sacred day to a se- 
rious examination of the state of my heart before God, 
and have found cause enough to be deeply humbled and 
abased, on the review of the little improvement I have 
made of the numerous advantages J eajoy. 

The hour of trial is with me fast approaching, in which 

1 shall have especial need of the presence of my Heaven- 
ly Father, to give me patience to bear suffering, and to 
resign myself wholly to His disposal. The veil which 
separates me from the eternal world, may be soon drawn 
aside. O that I may be very careful, rightly to improve 
the few remaining weeks previously to my confinement, 
in more frequent approaches to a throne of grace ; that 
I may enjoy sweet communion with the Father of 
my spirit! May I study more attentively the blessed 



MRS. COOPER* 149 

Word of God, that its promises may be the support of 
my mind — the food of my soul 1'? 

[Every page of the preceding work has been gradually 
preparing the reader for the solemn issue ! In a short 
time after she wrote the above, which is the end of her 
Diary, this excellent woman passed triumphantly through 
that valley of the shadow of death, which she appears to 
have so long anticipated. The forebodings of her own 
mind, tended much to unnerve her already deeply de- 
pressed frame 5 and cause her to fall a readier victim to 
death.] 



[The following' account of her last moments has been 
drawn up by Mr. Cooper.] 

" For several weeks before the confinement of my dear 
wife, she seemed to enjoy the public means of grace, as 
well as family worship, in a more than ordinary degree. 

The day before her confinement, viz. Sunday* June 
14, she was very unwell, and could not attend public 
worship in the morning ; but being considerably better 
in the evening, we went to St. Mary Woolnoth, to hear 
our esteemed friend, Mr. Pratt. She very much enjoy- 
ed this opportunity ; and on our return home, we spent 
about three quarters of an hour together, in mutual pray- 
er, and singing several hymns; we then called our fa- 
mily to prayer. Just before retiring to rest, she said, 
that although she had not been able to attend the House 
of God in the morning, her soul had been greatly refresh- 
ed throughout the day. 

The following morning, June 15, she was sensible that 
the time of trial was approaching. She was very cheer- 
ful, and several times expressed her confidence that God 
would be with her and support her. A little after 
midnight, she was safely delivered of a fine boy : there 
was nothing attending the labour to give any ground of 
alarm ; and through the whole of Tuesday she was as 
well as could be expected ; but in the evening dangerous 
symptoms appeared. The best medical advice was ob- 
tained as soon as possible : but from this night she thought 
she should not recover; she said to the nurse, ' I shall 

N 2 



150 DIARY OP 

die ;* who replied, ' If it should be the will of God, I 
hope you are not afraid of death.' She answered, i O 
nof On Sunday morning', she altered so much for the 
worse, that scarcely any hope remained. As the strict* 
est injunctions were laid upon us by the physicians, to 
keep her as quiet as possible, I had very little conversa- 
tion with her after her confinement ; but she appeared 
to be in a comfortable and resigned state. 

On Monday morning", June 22, perceiving there was 
no human probability of her recovery, I thought it my 
duty to inquire the state of her mind 5 and after praying 
with her, (in every petition she heartily joined,) I said, 
' What a mercy it is, my love, that we have a God to look 
to in all circumstances.' c Yes,' she replied, £ and I have 
not far to go; He is very near to me? 1 said, ' God is our 
refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trou- 
ble ; do you find him so ?' she answered, { Yes, I do.' At 
another time she said, ' / am very happy, I have no fear? 
I asked, ' Is Christ precious to you ? do you find Him 
near ?' She said, ' Yes, very near to bless ; He says to me, 
/ am Thine and Thou art Mine? 

Having left the room, in a short time she said to my 
sister Mary, Tell my dear husband to come here. 
When I went she said again, 4 / am very happy? What 
makes you happy ? ' My Jesus,' she replied, and then 
repeated, 

' This life's a dream, an empty show, 
But that bright world to which I go, 
Hath joys substantial and sincere ; 
When shall I wake and find me there V 

i Jesus is the rock of ages 3 He is my Rock. Bless the 
Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless His 
Holy Name.' When the nurse inquired if she recollect- 
ed a Psalm she had been repeating, she immediately said, 
c The Lord is ray Light and my Salvation \ whom shall I 
fear; The Lord is the strength of my heart ; of whom shall 
I be afraid ?' 

When I returned, I found her in the same happy state 
of mind, saying, ' Glory be to God in the highest: Glory 
be to God in the highest : I have experienced a glori- 



MRS. COOPER. 151 

ous elevation of mind! It is all over? Afterwards 3 
to my sister she said, * O Mary, can we ever doubt 
such a Saviour?' and added, ' Come unto me, all ye 
that fear God, and I will tell you what He hath done 
for my soul ? and then turning- to her sister, said, i You 
can praise God ; cannot you, Mary !' 

She was continually repeating the promises of God, 
and observed, ' What a promise-keeping God we have 1 
— Be not faithless, but believing.' When her sister in- 
quired, if she found the Lord to be her refuge and 
strength in this time of need, she answered with much 
fervency, ; O yes!' and then putting her hands together, 
and fixing her eyes upwards, she said, < Clap your hands, 
all ye people, come and let us exalt His name together.* 
She then began to pray in great earnestness, often say- 
ing, 6 Bless the Lord, O my soul.' She afterwards repeated 
some lines from the hymns of Dr. Watts, among which 
the following were nearly the last words she uttered:-— 

* My flesh shall slumber in the ground, 
Till the last trumpet's joyful sound; 
Then burst the chains with sweet surprise, 
And in my Saviour's image rise.* 

She was then seized with that convulsion which de- 
prived her of her senses *, and in a little time, her happy 
spirit, freed from its earthly tabernacle, ascended to that 
Saviour in whom she believed, and in communion witk 
whom, for several years of her life, her chief happiness 
consisted. 

She fell asleep in Jesus, on Monday, June 22, 1812, 
at a quarter past two in the afternoon, in the twenty- 
sixth year of her age," 



[A few extracts from Mrs. Cooper's letters to her re- 
ligious correspondents will interest the reader. They 
argue, as her other writings do, an enlightened and well- 



152 DIARY OP 

cultivated mind, as well as a friendly and pious heart 
Some of those extracts which are inscribed to Miss M. 
were written by Miss H. while she was under deep con- 
cern, relative to her intended matrimonial connexion, 
and some others, immediately after. She saw the abso- 
lute necessity of having a decidedly religious companion, 
if any, to accompany her in the path of religion. She 
had seen, and she had heard, that those young" persons, 
who had taken up the cross of Christ, and afterwards 
married irreligious, or not thoroughly decided religious 
characters, either i turned back to perdition, or had a 
cross, the most afflictive, to bear throughout life.' The 
advices and directions in these letters are too excellent 
to be slightly regarded : and it may be hoped have had 
their due influence on the person to whom they were ad- 
dressed ; nor can any, to whom they may be applicable, 
consult them without profit.] 

Hammersmith, July 22, 1811. 
My dear Miss M. 
Various and pressing engagements have prevented 
me from earlier assuring you of the pleasure your kind 
letter (which I regard as the commencement of our cor- 
respondence) afforded me. As I gave your reasons for 
delay their full weight, I am inclined to transpose the 
words of Pope, and say, 'The mercy I to you have 
shown, that mercy show to me.' I have certainly found 
epistolary communications one of the sweets of celibacy ; 
and, although on the verge of quitting it, with its many 
advantages, do not despair of finding, amid the more 
multiplied engagements of domestic life, time to remem- 
ber, in this way, you, my dear friend, and some others, 
who have long had a claim on my friendship. Common 
maxims, and those which guide people, ordinarily, are no 
standard for me ; and the too frequent result of marriage, 
that of contracting the heart, chilling the affections, 
and confining one's exertions, merely to the precincts of 
a fireside and a family, are unenviable consequences ; 
and into those I hope to be in no danger of falling. To 
avoid it, I am fully aware of the necessity oT redeeming 



MRS. COOPER. 153 

lime, and acting on a. digested plan, that hours and days 
may not succeed each other, without bearing on their 
wings, at least, some essays to do good. Our corres- 
pondence, my dear friend, I am disposed to hope, will be 
somewhat productive of this disposition ; and as we are 
both alive to the importance and luxury of exercising 
cur talents and influence in a good cause, so I trust we 
shall have freedom and sincerity enough to suggest to 
each other, whatever may prove of personal or relative 
advantage. Should I insensibly slide into matrimonial 
supineuess, and myself become a prey to the inactivity 
I so often see, and so much deplore in others, you, dear 
Miss M. must rouse me, and tell me of the enjoyment of 
revolving round a larger orbit of usefulness. When it 
first wa3 known among my friends, that I was turning 
my thoughts towards Methodism, one of them used jo- 
cosely to tell me, my religion was ( up and be doing.' 
A part of it certainly is. It is this spirit which benefits 
the world ; and our Lord and Master, in his errand 
of benevolence — in his seeking continual occasions of 
doing good, has left us an example, which, in our degree} 
it is our duty and interest to follow. Thus did the Star 
of Jacob pierce through the dark clouds of poverty and 
reproach ; and by the lustre of his deeds, proclaim the 
divinity of His nature. He shall be our pattern and our 
guide. We will lose sight of the world, and seek after a 
growing resemblance to the bright and morning star, 
that we may be lucid gems in His crown, for ever. I 
cannot but reflect, with a degree of astonishment, on the 
early and strict discipline you exercised over your heart. 
You early manifested a taste for that true wisdom, of 
which the poet speaks, 

* Man, know thyself, all wisdom centres here.' 

You were then under the bondage of self-denial. Now 
you know the omnipotent power of divine love, which 
can make even self-denial a joy! No obedience will be 
lasting, but that which flows from this heaven-born prin- 
ciple 5 it is this alone, which makes the service of God 



154 DIAttY OP 

perfect freedom. It is this, which reconciles the para- 
doxes in our religion, — ' As sorrowful, yet always rejoi- 
cing — as poor, yet making many rich — as having nothing, 
yet possessing all things.' I sensibly feel, my dear Miss 
M. your candour, in giving me such an insight into your 
heart. If the portrait were faithful, it was not a flatter- 
ing one ; but that new nature we are called to put on — 
that light of life it is our privilege to walk in, will, I trust, 
effect an entire revolution of our habits, principles, and 
pursuits 5 and our memorandum-book, to the glory of 
divine grace, will record a happy change, from the ser- 
vice of the world, to the service of God. You have 
sweetly described the change, my dear friend ; I rejoice 
with you. O guard the sacred fire, and do not let it 
evaporate and extinguish, by distracting its source. 
Nothing can lead to God which has not proceeded from 
Him. We are naturally averse from Him, and every 
thing within us opposes the operation of those fruits of 
the Spirit, which it has lately been your happiness to tes- 
tify. We are transitory creatures of a day. God ad- 
dresses us as such, and warns us against anxious care for 
the morrow. Therefore, it is your privilege and mine, 
to live a life of momentary dependence on the charity of 
Heaven ; that we may continually be fed with the bread 
and water of life. For want of this, how much I have 
lost ! Such a proneness to look forward, without faith ; 
a sad species of unbelief; c Jesus Christ is the same, 
yesterday, to-day, and for ever.* His hands of love and 
aiercy are ever spread out in our behalf. — - 



To Miss M. 

Aug. 17, 1811. 

My dear friend, 
Circumstances have hitherto proved rather unfavour- 
able to the cultivation, both of our epistolary and person- 
al intercourse. The balance is certainly against me; 
and if your candour towards a friend, keeps at all pace 



MRS. COOPER. 155 

with it towards yourself, you will, in consideration of 
pressing and important engagements, indemnify me from 
any intentional or avoidable neglect. 

It is no trifling thing, dear Miss M. to be on the verge 
of quitting scenes, endeared by all the varieties of youth- 
ful experience — the residence of one's whole life. Pa- 
rents, the instruments of those comforts ; and friends 
knit to my heart by the bonds of Christian love. Those 
things afford no inconsiderable exercise for the mind. 
The change, though important, is pleasing, when viewed 
as the result of that guidance, promised to those who 
acknowledge God in their ways. There is a prospective 
happiness of being united in the Lord, quite inconcei- 
vable to those who have never experienced it. This re- 
mark I make for you, my dear friend, that you may 
guard your heart and affections, till that heavenly Pa- 
rent, who has so narrowly and tenderly watched over 
you for good, shall clearly point out the path for your 
future life. Confidence in Him is both a duty and a pri- 
vilege. 

By way of apology only, have I devoted one page to 
a subject, not at all interesting to you, judging you by 
myself in former times. The inference I draw, as it re- 
gards us, is this \ — that in the course of another month, 
the result of all my present bustle will afford me fre- 
quent opportunities of enjoying your society, and of in- 
terchanging that oneness of object, we have in view ; to 
me, a very pleasing anticipation ; and, in conjunction 

with yourself, our very dear friends at , to whom 

I present my love. 1 beg one proof of its reciprocity, 
viz. a remembrance of me at a throne of grace, on the 
27th inst. Will you, my dear friend, give this kind ex- 
pression also, of your friendship. 

And now I will endeavour to answer your kind and 
acceptable letter. The dearest friends I have, have a 
property in their disposition, I rather thiuk, not natural 
to me, reserve; it having proved no obstruction, in those 
cases, to love and friendship, I was not at all disposed 
unfavourably to regard the same disposition which I cer- 
tainly noticed in you, in the first part of our first inter- 



156 DIARY OF 

view ; though I must assure you I consider the specimens 
I have had of you, a very favourable omen of what is yet 
in store for us, should your stay in London be protracted, 
It affords me unspeakable pleasure, my dear friend, 
and I hope, in some degree, I am influenced by the same 
desire which you feel, of living to good purpose ; and 
using talents and influence to the glory of that God and 
that cause, we have both warmly and decidedly espous- 
ed. The good is incalculable, which one individual, 
truly devoted to God, may effect. Let us both pray for 
an increase of that divine love, which shall make us run, 
and delight ourselves in the commandments of God. I 
can testify, from happy experience, how much the influ- 
ence of this blessed principle makes the path of duty 
easy ; and those requisitions of self-denial, &c. so severe 
and contrary to nature, are easy and delightful through 
grace. I have sometimes been enabled to appropriate to 
myself a line of Madame Guion's, 'In self-denial is her 
joy.' It is not always thus with me ; but to the glory of di- 
vine grace, I must acknowledge I have found, and do find 
it in a happy measure. I once heard Mr. B. say, ' Never 
rest satisfied with your religion, till it makes you hap- 
py ;' — and nothing short of it does satisfy me ; nothing 
troubles me so much, as the hiding of God's counte- 
nance: — His smile is heaven — His approbation, bliss; or 
in the words of an elegant writer, ' whom to know, is 
wisdom — whom to fear, is rectitude — whom to love, is 
happiness.' What a mercy it is, dear Miss M. that from 
such pure sources, so early in life, we are called to draw 
out our felicity; and, in surrendering our hearts to God, 
find that ample recompense, always connected with the 
sacrifice. My chief deficiency is a want of poverty of 
spirit, and my constitutional hindrance is levity of spirit ; 
not that I decry cheerfulness ; it is the element, and pro- 
perly the privilege, of the Christian only. It is a some- 
thing not so tranquil, that I speak of; a something which 
would not be allowed, were a proper sense of the omnis- 
cience of God duly estimated and received. I wish to 
show you something of the face of my soul, that we may 
mutually suggest hints for improvement, and recom- 
mend remedies we have proved effectual. 



MRS. COOPER. 157 

London, March 7, 1812. 
My dear friend, 
I have been a little surprised, in referring to the date 
of your last kind favour, to find so much time elapsed 
since the receipt of it. The truth is, that my engage- 
ments are so much more numerous and pressing now 
than formerly, that I must hope for the candour and 
allowances of my correspondents, if I fail in being as 
punctual as in the days of my celibacy. My domestic 
avocations were then comparatively nothing, and I am 
disposed to congratulate myself that my taste, in those 
days, led me to the improvement of my mental powers ; 
for, the /cod I then derived, I must now live upon by 
rumination. And yet, my dear Miss M, so powerful 
are the charms of a happy union, that notwithstanding 
all I have conceded, I would not exchange the present for 
the past. Few, indeed, are so blessed in this state ; as 
I possess a partner, in whose upright conduct and con- 
versation I constantly behold an object worthy of my 
closest imitation. One equally suitable, my dear friend, 
I trust Providence has in store for you. In a connexion 
so important, I trust you will not hastily conclude ; and, 
believe me, there must be a great deal to compensate 
for the new cares and pains, commonly resulting from 
marriage ; and there must be in the partner of your 
choice, a living, a decided piety; to counteract the ten- 
dency this new relation has, to wed the heart more 
closely to the world. This is, indeed, my point of dan- 
ger; and I find daily need of peculiar grace, to have my 
chief treasure in heaven. You know, my dear friend, 
the interest I feel in your welfare. It is more than pro^ 
bable, much time will not elapse, ere a decision of this 
kind will take place ; and much as you are disposed to 
glory in your present unembarrassed situation, the chain 
of Jove may be thrown around your neck also, and lead 
you captive. Hitherto you have been the prey of much 
and accumulated anxiety ; and you have had alone to 
struggle with it. Now a suitable marriage may make 
you happier, and more at ease than you have ever been, 
and give you the dearest friend you have ever had. 
But let it be your own choice ; and let your judgment 

o 



158 DIARY OP 

guide your affections. You alone can be judge} and 
above all, seek direction at His hands, who has promised 
to direct the paths of those that love and fear Hitn ; and 
who hath said, ' No good shall be with-holden from them 
that walk uprightly.' 

Forgive me, my dear friend, if I have been intrusive 
or tedious on this subject. Regard all I have said, as 
flowing from a real love to you, and regard for your 
welfare. It is a momentous business -, and, as I have 
tried the two states, I feel convinced that nothing short, 
of an entire union of mind and pursuits, with the purest 
affection, can counterbalance the new pains and anxie- 
ties, commonly resulting from the married state. With 
regard to my health, I still continue very poorly. This 
is a new, and unlooked-for trial to me. I view it all in 
wisdom and love ; but for it I should have no memento 
that this is a state of discipline, so free am I from every 
other trial. It sometimes leads me to look forward to 
that happy state, where the spirit will be no longer en- 
cumbered by its clay tenement, but ' where it will soar 
.without bound, without consuming glow.' God is teach- 
ing me another lesson, the inadequacy of every earthly 
good, to satisfy my soul , without the continual enjoyment 
of his love and presence. I hope you, my dear friend, 
are going forward steadily in the ways of God, and that 
you again enjoy the simplicity and earnestness of a coun- 
try society. When you write, I hope to hear you have 
become a visiter of the Benevolent Society you mention. 
Many important lessons may be learnt in the chambers 
of poverty and affliction : we are called to it by the ex- 
ample of our Divine Master, who left us the poor, as His 
special legacy ; and who has stamped even poverty with 
dignity, by making it His own garb in the days of His 
incarnation. 

Preparations for the important event of next June, oc- 
cupy a good deal of my time and attention ; as yet, I do 
not think anxiously about it : I hope, indeed, that its ap- 
proximation will more and more stir me up to intimate 
communion with God, and to familiarity with that solemn 
event, which is the gate we must all pass through te 



MRS. COOPER. 159 

heaven. My dear friend, if I have an interest in your 
affections, let me also have in your prayers, that I may 
be fully prepared for life or death. 

To Miss W. 

June 5, 1812. 

My dear friend, 

I cannot express to you, the concern and surprise 
your long silence has occasioned me; particularly, since 
J had an intimation from your brother, that you had left 
home in consequence of illness. 1 have been led to ap- 
prehend the worst that could befall you, as I thought the 
subject of my last letter (if you ever received it) would 
have led you, at any rate, if you had but an interval of 
health, or ease, to write me a few lines, before my confine- 
ment, of which I am now in daily expectation. I aqa 
now, and have been for some time past, very unwell, 
and incapable of exertion, so that I cease to wish the 
trying 1 hour to be protracted. Respecting 1 you, I cannot 
feel easy, until I hear of the state of your health, and 
the cause of its decline. I feel inexpressibly for you, 
dear Mary Ann, on that subject, which, I fear, is still 
involved in the same painful obscurity, as to its issue, 
which has so long marked it. Pray relieve my mind by 
letting me know all respecting you ; and let me not have, 
in addition to the thoughtfulness connected with my 
present situation, to labour under imaginary forebodings 
relative to a friend, who will ever be most dear to me. 

Since my marriage, God has given me every thing I 
could desire, excepting health 5 in wisdom, no doubt, he 
has deprived me of this ; though I have reason to fear 
this dispensation has not been so sanctified to my soul's 
good, as He designed it. A time of more extreme trial 
awaits me 5 and my only confidence is in that God who 
is all-sufficient to deliver me. I can repose in Him, aud 
feel peculiar consolation in reflecting on that chain of 
providence which led to our union. I feel I am still in 
the hands of the same Parent who superintends all our 
concerns. Allow me to beg of you, my dear friend, ;to 
remember me in your prayers. I, and my beloved C 



160 DIARY OP 

frequently remember you, when bowed together at a 
Throne of Grace.—- 

[The above letter* intended for Miss W. was left un- 
finished.] 



[The last letter she wrote was to her brother, at Cam- 
bridge, from which the following is extracted. It is da- 
ted only ten days before her confinement.] 

To Mr. Wm* Hanson, Cambridge. 

June 6, 1812. 

I cannot but think it will surprise you a little, my dear 
brother, to receive a letter from one, who, but for the 
multifarious engagements of a married life, would have 
been one of the first to have classed herself among your 
correspondents. ****** As the most re- 
sponsible, the most dignified of offices awaits you, i trust 
that influence, which alone can render it a delightful and 
easy employ, will be more and more experienced by 
you — that moved, ' in verity, by the Holy Ghost? you 
may be made eventually the instrument of turning many 
of your fellow-mortals to the path of life and happiness, 
which our holy religion so fully sets forth, i am aware, 
from the nature of your present studies, of the difficulties 
you have to combat with, in cultivating that personal 
piety, which is so delightful and so necessary for the fu- 
ture discharge of duties of a pastoral nature. God will, 
I trust, abundantly sanctify to your good, those energies 
of mind with which He has endued you, and that they 
will be directed towards the glorious object of a minister 
of the Gospel. 



I am almost a complete prisoner, very much indispos- 
ed in body, and in the daily expectation of an event, for 
which my mind can only derive support and confidence 
in making God my refuge. 



MRS. COOPER. 161 

The efficacy of religion is but little known in hours of 
ease, and days of prosperity— its benign and cheering 
influence is felt on the bed of pain and languishing, when 
all human help is impotent, and when death may receive 
his commission to unveil the eternal world. 

Life has to me now, many more fascinations than it 
ever had before. God has bestowed upon me the best 
of earthly blessings, and I have known nothing like a 
trial since my marriage, but bodily indisposition $ a mer- 
ciful infusion in that cup of bliss, which otherwise might 
have intoxicated me. 

I need not tell you, my dearest William, the pleasure 
a letter from you will afford me. 

May the blessing of God attend you, my ever dear 
brother ; may your present studies conduce to your best 
interests, and in days to come, to the good of many ! 
May you be kept from every snare, and be guided into 
all truth, and know more and more of the indwelling of 
that peace which passeth understanding! My dear hus- 
band unites with me in kind love to you. Believe me 
ever to remain 

Your most affectionate sister, 

MARY COOPER 



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